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"All thanks to you." She said almost turning.
"I'm glad. Try to forgive the people here. Some of them are very much removed from life on the prairie."
"I noticed."
"Well, good luck to you Mrs. Dawson."
Somehow, that reference made her almost angry. She'd had relations with this man, and now he was calling her Mrs. Dawson. Talk about removed!
"And to you…Hawk." She said a tear in her eye. Nevertheless, she couldn't just let him walk off. She had to tell him her worse fears, for she might not see him again. "Hawk," she called to him and went into the shadows with him. "If I am pregnant what do I do?"
He looked puzzled and concerned. "I don't understand?"
She blinked hard, trying to control her emotions.
"They know my husband has been dead two years. I’m afraid I blurted that out before thinking. In fact, until I did tell them, it never occurred to me. If somehow…you…I mean. I told them he died two years ago; they would know it wasn't his. What shall I do? How can I explain myself?"
Hawk seemed taken aback, as though it never occurred to him either. "I hadn't given it a thought, Eve." He called her by her name now. "I'm sorry."
When she didn't say anything, he went on.
"Are you afraid you are?" He asked.
"I don't know. But you must realize it only takes once. And if I am, it will be such a scandal. I'll have to leave here and never come back."
"Yes, you are right. I did not think of that, before I brought you here. I am a fool. I will come b
ack to check on you in a month or so."
"Thank you!" She said and turned to go inside.
"I should not have brought you here, but I will come back. I would never leave you, if I thought…."
She nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek.
"I'll be back, I promise with all my heart." He said and walked away silently as a young soldier happened to walk by.
She didn't know if he'd keep that promise. The fear of it being a reality hit her hard. She hadn't once considered the possibility until she came here and they questioned her about everything. If they only knew, she'd be kicked out of here so fast.
She'd prayed that she wasn't pregnant.
Although a small part of her almost hoped…she was! Dear God, what did that mean? What was so tragic was that she came to realize she no longer fit into this society. Especially if anyone knew the truth. She didn't fit anywhere now.
She wasn't a stranger to the stories some women told of being captured, nor of how others shunned those women. Now she might be one of them.
Chapter Eight
Hawk worried over his decision to leave Eve and the children here at the fort. He could hardly sleep. Why hadn't he thought of it? He remembered thinking of it when he touched her. How he'd like to impregnate her then. It was a grim possibility he realized. He knew that now. He too had lost himself in the lovemaking. In some ways, he wished he could talk to her about it, but it wasn't wise. This mixing thing was getting in the way of things.
The whole concept of making love to a white woman was new to him. Although, he had wanted her for so long. And he hadn't been disappointed either. She was everything a man could want in a woman. Somehow, he had to turn those feeling away. Forget the way her lips responded to his, or how her body came to him willingly.
The next morning he headed out early. He was going to scout out the camps he knew were closer to the fort than they should be, and warn them that Mackenzie could attack them at any time.
His warnings wouldn't be welcome, but he had to do it. It could save a few lives, he thought.
The first camp he came to was full of Comanche and Arapaho. Although they kept separate, they were close.
"I am Red Hawk, and I have come to warn you that Colonel Mackenzie might raid your camps at any time. You must move further north."
