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"Yes, I do…" He smiled at her.
"And Mommy too?"
Eve's eyes rounded like saucers. How could she stop this?
"And mommy too!" His eyes met hers briefly, then he made light of it and walked off.
Eve's face turned red and she moved away so no one would see her. Embarrassed she didn't know what to say or do now.
Saying it aloud, especially to her children meant she affirmed her feelings. It didn't make it right. It didn't make it work, but it clarified many things in her mind for her.
She had fantasized about him for two long years. It had been nothing more than a fantasy.
Today, she ripped the fantasy away from her, replacing it with the truth. Finally, she could admit the truth to herself. What had grown between them in those two years was more than physical, but the physical merely affirmed the mental and emotional coming together. Her mind and her body had somehow become one with Hawk. They were a part of each other.
She also knew full well the responsibility that came with it. Saying what they felt, would bring them one-step closer, and a step into danger. She knew that.
Her heart ached to tell him how she felt, but her mind still held reason. Once they took the step to love each other there would be no going back.
Had they taken that step?
Perhaps he said it to appease Jane Ann.
At the fort she had come full circle, facing the stark reality that if anyone knew her feelings, she'd be outcast from her own people. And so would he? Their love, if this truly was love, was forbidden by both societies. They weren't blind, they knew it.
Eve was glad that the children cared for Hawk too, as it brought even more unity to the four of them. Her children not only accepted Hawk, they cared for him too. It made Eve proud. This decision to love would surely change her life forever.
Unless he merely placated them. She had to know!
Something inside her, made her want to shout the love she carried for him. She wished with all her heart that she could tell him openly how she felt. But, what would he think, or say? How did he feel? Perhaps that's all it was, a caring man, a man who wanted to save her from more pain and hurt. He was that kind of man.
Perhaps she was fantasizing again. Until he committed himself, she wouldn't know for sure.
But it stuck in her head all day, he said he loved her too!
Matthew and Hawk caught several fish and when they brought them back, Eve chuckled. "Looks like the two of you had fun…"
"Guess I'll have to spend some time cleaning these." She told them.
She took them to the creek and sat cleaning them, thinking about the possibility of really being a family. It thrilled her, but then, it scared her too. How could they be a family when the whites and the Indians hated each other so? Determined not to think on that, she put a smile on her face and then brought the fish back to cook over a fire.
They were tasty and the kids ate until they were stuffed.
Afterwards they played games together and their laughter echoed through the small valley. It was a wonderful day, filled with happiness for all of them.
But that night as they returned to the cliff, she tucked her children in and grabbed the lie soap and a towel.
"I'm going to bath," she announced sending him a slight smile over her shoulder. "I'll be back soon."
He nodded.
She sighed feeling uplifted that they had all shared a wonderful day together, but now as night fell, she wished…oh she wished. If she thought about it enough, she could conjure him up herself.
She need to know if he meant it.
She wasn't thinking sensibly, but with her feelings and emotions so exposed, she had to get away from him before she said too much. Alone she could admit her feelings. Alone she could dream of him…of them.
The way she wanted him was sinful, but she'd never enjoyed a man before. She'd never known what love could do to a relationship. She did love him, with all her being. So much so, it scared her silly. She was treading on dangerous grounds.
