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"I know," he whispered.
"She's the White Silver Fox, isn't she?" Angus asked Aiden as he came up toward him.
"Yes."
"I heard about her. The Indians think she's a spirit woman."
"Yes, they do." Aiden agreed. After seeing to the horses, he passed Angus and added as he walked off to find her once more. "And in some ways, I think maybe she is."
"What do you mean?" Angus called.
Aiden paused and turned to look at him. "Her own people didn't care enough about her to come get her. None of them, not aunt, uncles, cousin, not even her grandfather, whom she loved dearly. At least that's how she sees it. She's lived with that. She realized that fairly early on. And it left a scar that is still there. A hurt that can't be mended. Every time she's around white people, she remembers, and it hurts. But the Indians loved her. And she loved them back. She made them her family, she had no choice in the matter. She seems to be able to see things more clearly than others. Perhaps because she had to learn to understand so early. I think you will see this in her and recognize it. She has the power to understand beyond most."
Angus stared after him as he walked off.
Aiden found her crying in a forest of trees, he waited until she had control of her emotions then he approached. "Why'd you tell her about the child?"
Lucy whipped around, startled, Aiden was nearly behind her. Usually she could hear someone approach. She swallowed hard, the snow was hard now, as it was well below freezing. It made a crunching sound. "So, she would not go into the camp angry and make a scene. So, she would understand. I respect her Aiden, for what she does. I do not want to see her killed for this. I will see she gets her child back, Aiden if I can. I promise that."
"Can you make that kind of promise?" He asked.
"Yes… because I will try. I will pray for her and her daughter."
"Lucy, now that you are grown, I want to talk to you."
"Aiden, you are not my father… "
"I know… "
"Or my brother… "
He studied her long and hard. "I am your friend, though."
"Yes, you are!"
"You were taken, and no one came, that much is true. But you were loved by the Indians, you were their child, isn't that so?"
She shrugged, then looked at him and nodded, "Yes."
He put his hand on her shoulder, "Then don't feel so badly about it all. You were loved Lucy, just by different people. Just as I was."
"By the fur trapper?"
"You remember him?"
"Of course, I do." She smiled. "I loved him too. What you say is true. And it is not the Indians that make me sad. And I am not sad most of the time. It is only when I see the whites, something makes me sad inside and I cannot hide the sadness Aiden. Very sad. Perhaps my folks did die. Perhaps they couldn't come after me. Surely, someone could have come, could have cared. If I'd only known they tried to come. But I am white Aiden, as white as you. I do not think much about it, until you or another white comes around. Then I remember, and I think. And yet because of the clothes, and the way I think and believe, I can never be accepted as a white, but my skin is white. I am white. Unlike a breed, I cannot walk in both worlds. It was not my choice to live as an Indian, in the beginning. But it became my destiny. I do love my Indian father. I care about them. All of them, their struggles to stay alive, their struggles to make treaties that the white man will not honor. I love my people, and I know they are my people, but… sometimes, a certain part of me cries out. When I am with the whites, something calls to me. I don't understand it. It pulls at me and I feel the hurt all over again. Because with your people, I am trapped on the outside, I cannot enter. I know that. I've tried many times to bury it. And
only you know how deep my hurt goes. Please do not share it with the others."
"I would never do that, Lucy. I know. It's natural. I'm not scolding you for it. Just don't want to see you hurting." He put his hands on her shoulders.
"You cannot prevent it. I should know better by now. But sometimes, I see the white man and the white women, and I feel so cheated." She cried and turned away. "Like I missed something. And yet I know I could never fit into their world. Not now."
He took her in his arms. "I know that too, I've always known. I would have taken you out of there myself, but I knew what you would have faced. I didn't want that for you! At least where you were, you were loved."
He pulled away, so he could look into her eyes. "Do you want to be white, Lucy? Is that what eats at you?"
"It's a little late to be asking that. I think like an Indian, dress like one, I even married one… " she nearly laughed.
