Page 31 of Finding Her


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She glanced at him now and one tear rolled down her cheek. "Many times!" She sighed heavily. "I suppose it was the not knowing what happened to them that made me angry with them. I had a grandfather back in Missouri, I guess he was too old to come looking for me. For a while, I remembered them all. Aunts, Uncles, cousins. Prayed for them, wished for them. And they never came. Not one. At the time I thought there should have been someone who loved me or cared. I remember Sally she felt the same as I and she killed herself because she thought she was unworthy. She wasn't Aiden. They just didn’t come. She couldn't live with it."

"Lucy," he took her hand in his now. "When whites are captured, and if it has been some time. People give up hope of finding them. Or think they might have killed themselves like your friend Sally. If grown women are captured, husband sometimes won't go after them as they don't want a white woman that's been with an Indian. As though they are dirty or something. They don't know much about the Indians, so they think the worse of them."

"I have heard this too. Seen it once or twice too. One man came for his wife, found she had an Indian baby, and walked away without a word. Just left. She stood there staring after him for a long time, as though she couldn't quite believe what happened. Never talked to her, never gave her a chance to explain. I was young back then and didn't understand it. It was her husband. Why didn't he love her any longer, Aiden? No one is perfect. Jesus was the only perfect person in this world."

"Lack of understanding, Lucy," Aiden told her and squeezed her hand. "I'm sure it's painful to think on it, but Lucy, you've grown into quite a woman. And it is all thanks to the Cheyenne, not your white folks. Do you remember what your father did for a living? Do you remember much about them at all?"

They were interrupted by the meal Gloria cooked and sometime later she answered his question. They were bedding down for the night, trying

to stay warm. It wasn't that late, but it was cold. He patted his blanket and invited her inside with him and she joined him without thought.

"He was a blacksmith. I remember watching him working with the horses, and the horseshoes he made. He gave me one once, I don't know what happened to it, but I thought it was some kind of prize."

"Do you know why they were headed to Oregon?"

"No, only my father didn't like his work. That's all I know. He was good at it, but he didn't like it."

"And your mother?"

"She was beautiful, I remember she'd read stories in the bible to me every night. I guess I can thank her for knowing who the real Creator is. Both of you."

"That's something."

"Yes… it is." Lucy hadn't cuddled with him. "I'm glad you are here Aiden. You remind me of things I forget. With you I can think about them and not feel guilty for doing so. With you I can talk about them and know you won't tell anyone. That's part of why I love you so much, Aiden."

"You better quit saying that, I might start believing it." He chuckled, "Is that the only reason you love me, because I taught you to read and write?" he asked huskily.

She hugged him tight. "You are my only link to the white world, Aiden. But no, it's not the only reason." She laid her head on his big massive shoulders. "You wouldn't remember but the last time you were here, you kissed me. It wasn't a real kiss, just a peck on the cheek. I treasured that kiss, as it was my first, and I feared my last. I fell in love with you then, and it has never changed. You're the only one I can talk to about my white life. The only one who listens. You see, it is hard to make the Cheyenne understand my feelings about them. And now that I'm grown, I think back and try to remember, but it's harder now, to remember. I remember my mother was beautiful, but I can't see her face any longer, no matter how hard, I try I can't remember."

He pulled her closer. "Maybe that's for the best too. If you remembered too much, you might feel lonesome all the time."

"I guess."

"Hey, you and Pumpkin are getting along well." Aiden chuckled, changing the subject.

"I like her." Lucy told him with a soft chuckle. "She has such a sense of humor."

"Really?"

Lucy socked him on the arm. "Really. She is very happy with Angus. Blackfoot women are jollier than most. And find humor everywhere. She is fun to be with. I had several Blackfeet friends when I was younger, they'd come to our village and we'd do all kinds of stuff. They didn't war all the time and they appreciated their lives more."

"Where did they meet? Angus and Pumpkin?"

"He came to their village, to trade and the chief's son introduced her as she cooked his meals while he was there. They got to talking and I guess more than that. And he traded his pack horses for her."

"His pack horses, that must have set him back a little." Aiden chuckled.

"It did, they had to go down to the fort afterwards and he traded some for more provisions. He killed four bears to make the trade. He told her she was worth every bit of them and more. Now, that is love."

"I guess it is." He chuckled.

But Aiden couldn't sleep, and he got up. It was too early. He didn't know why, only being close to Lucy did things to him. "Walk with me, will you?"

"Sure," she smiled wiping at her eyes.

He was silent, but he took her hand as they walked. Aiden turned around and saw her staring, suddenly he reached down in the snow and formed a ball then threw it at her. She ran, getting far enough away, she reached down and formed a ball of snow and threw it at Aiden as he chased her. Laughing he chased her until he fell upon her. The intimacy that the action caused, shocked them both. They stared for a long moment. He reached a gloved hand and stroked her cheek. She held her breath as her cheeks bloomed. Her head leaned against his hand. Then his eyes drifted to her lips. She lost breath once more. He was about to kiss her when Angus came up to them.

"Don't mean to butt in, but we got company." He said with a smile.

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