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Dancing how silly!
She needed to stay where she belonged. But then truth be told, she didn't know where she belonged any longer. Especially since she'd left the tribe. She missed Yellow Deer, but she wished he would see his son as what he was.
Still a small part of her wanted to find out what the white world would be like.
What was hard, was separating Aiden's genuine nature to be kind and loving, from falling in love with him. He came from another world, the white world, where she really didn't belong.
She was tarnished now, and he knew it and it would put a gap in their relationship. He would feel nothing but pity for her. Something she never wanted from him.
Remembering that would be hard in the days to come.
She had to be stronger than she'd ever been, for her own sake, and for Aiden.
Chapter Twelve
On the last day, the men dug out the entrance of the cave and ventured out to check the weather and surroundings.
It left Gloria, Pumpkin, and Lucy to clean up the breakfast dishes.
"What was it like falling in love with your husband?"
Gloria turned to Lucy in surprise. "Well I, … I'd just lost my husband, I was pregnant and felt so alone. But Frank was there for me all the way. He was so gentle, so kind, so understanding. He helped me with the funeral and visited me every day. He brought flowers and we took long walks. Then finally one day he kissed me. Our first kiss. I remember I was swept off my feet by it. Naturally, I wasn't expecting it. I hadn't been thinking of him as a suitor, but as a friend. That kiss changed my mind. My first husband wasn't exactly a romantic kind of man, but he was a very good man. Frank was too. He woed me for weeks."
"How long had you known him?"
"Oh well, Frank and I were friends for years. He was my husband's friend too. He told me later he'd always secretly admired me, but because he and Boyd were such good friends, he'd never take an advantage. I respected him for that. He really woed me after Boyd died. When he asked me to marry, I was stunned? But rather pleased too. I wanted to tell him about my pregnancy, but he confided in me when we became engaged that he would prefer not to have any children. I was in love with him by then and didn't know what to do. So, I kept quiet, until I couldn't any longer. He accepted it calmly and told me he'd always stand by me. But it changed our relationship, he became more distant. He treated me well, I'll admit, and he still kissed me but for a while, afterwards we didn't make love. One, he was afraid he'd hurt me, two, he lost the desire, I think. It was the lie between us that changed things. He didn't want to come on this trip, but he wouldn't let me go alone."
"Did your heart feel as though it might burst when he kissed you?"
"Actually," she smiled now, in remembrance, "yes, it did." They giggled together.
"He's been very supportive of you. You must be terribly in love."
Gloria blushed, "More than I first realized, Lucy. He stuck by me. He held me when I needed him, he was there, and even though I've lost my little girl, he's promised we could try to have another. For him to compromise like that, just for me, it meant so much to me. I never thought he would go that far to please me, but he has. I'm just now finding out what a really good man he is."
Lucy took her hands and held them, "I'm so happy for you."
"And you, are you in love?"
"Me? In love?"
"I've seen how Aiden looks at you." Gloria smiled at her. "And you've already said you loved him… "
"Aiden and I don't live in the same world though." Lucy hung her head. "He wants me to go to the fort with him."
"Well isn't that a good thing?"
"I don't know. It is to meet with the Colonel and Major there. They want me to persuade my people to stop making raids and stay on the reservation."
"Will your people do that?"
"I don't know. This land here was promised to us. Now the settlers are trying to move in, they want to cut down the trees. Before long they will come and want our land too. And we will be moved again, each time to a place that is worse, I've seen this happen. When your government finds something, they want on the Indian lands, they simply move us to another place, not a better place, but a place where we can't grow crops, we can't find buffalo, where we could easily starve. How can I convince my people to agree to this when your government lies so? So, I am not looking forward to going, but I promised Aiden. So, I will go."
"You can't change all of that Lucy, can you?"
"No, I can only speak to them and ask them to obey the whites. They will not like it. The young people of my village want war. It is part of why Aiden and I cannot be together."
"I see. All you can do is try. But I think there is more between you and Aiden than this talk of war. How long have you known him?"
