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Why had he not said something to her, why had he turned instead to Naomie to heal him. She felt bereft.
Sasha believed that many of the old ways needed to be rethought. But she hadn't convinced her father. The only thing that had changed in her tribe was they made peace with the blue coats. Sasha was glad of the peace, but distraught that her father would not listen to her on other things.
Yet something within her did not weep for Big Knife either. That was a shock. Didn't she love him? Or was it only the familiar she loved about him. It was puzzling to face this. Still, in her own defense, she had never been away from her people for any time in her life and now, surrounded by strangers, she found it hard to cope.
Would she turn to Black Wolf in time?
Something Black Wolf said had her thinking. He said he hoped to win her heart. That would be impossible. She had given Big Knife her heart. Hadn't she?
Or had she? If she had, it was not suffering at the moment. Only her pride suffered. And Sasha had pride.
But the things Naomie had said about marrying both of them, had her rethinking everything now. Why did she suddenly doubt her feelings and Big Knife's?
She knew why, for it had been Naomie that told her of Big Knife wanting them both as his wife. Big Knife had never said anything about it. Was Naomie lying, or did Big Knife plan to surprise her with this news? Either way it was a betrayal.
In truth perhaps she had more of a relationship with Big Knife than a love affair. Her mind was full of doubts now. Once planted it was hard to go back to the self-assured ways.
Big Knife had kissed her a few times, but he wasted few words like Black Wolf on her looks or his feelings. But she found herself doubting their relationships now. He'd never really professed his love for her, now that she thought of it. He'd been kind, and gentle with her, even patient with her. Knowing he had suggested he might marry them both, according to Naomie, had her doubting his love. She could not live like that either. She would not be a second to any woman when it comes to marriage. She believed in the white man's bible. It made sense to her.
But Black Wolf didn't know her doubts and that was good. She would not be confiding them to him!
It was up to Big Knife to find a way for them to be together. If he really loved her. And if he didn't really love her, she would know in time.
She missed Big Knife now. She had known him for so long, they would have made a good marriage. Big Knife was big, strong and fearless. He was quite handsome, but not quite as handsome as this Shoshone chief.
Sasha fretted. Of course there was no law that Big Knife had to speak to her about a double marriage. It was an old custom of her people, but generally used when war made widows out of the women. She wondered why he had spoken to Naomie about it though, and not her. She did not want to be shared. She loved him. But did he love her enough to not take Naomie to his bed too? She wrestled with that thought.
Could she share her husband?
It seemed so wrong.
Still, there was a great possibility she would never know the answers as she was destined now to marry Black Wolf.
The Shoshone chief appeared a reasonable man. But like her, he sought only one woman. The problem being, she was the one woman.
If she somehow succeeded in going back to her people, she would bring shame upon her father, for her not honoring the challenge. And perhaps Big Knife would be jealous of Black Wolf. Everything seemed so complicated now.
There were too many problems and not enough answers.
But how could she marry a man she did not know?
She wrestled with sleep half the night.
The next morning, she got up and cleaned and folded her blanket, then she went to help prepare breakfast. The mother of the girls was Little Fawn, and she was preparing a mush like breakfast with berries and nuts. It was quite tasty as she offered her a spoonful. Sasha tasted it and smiled, "It is good."
The old woman smiled at her.
For nearly a decade most tribes spoke English now and there was no problem understanding each other. Even though they practiced their own languages in their camps, they all spoke to her in English. Black Wolf demanded they speak English, as they were at peace and he thought that all his people should be able to communicate with the blue coats easily. Perhaps he was right about that.
One thing she noted, Black Wolf was a good leader, and obviously from what she'd heard a good person.
The old woman smiled a toothless smile.
Sasha tried to be friendly with them all, so they would accept her and maybe help her later.
But she didn't have a lot of time to dally, as Black Wolf came to get her early that morning.
"Where are we going?" she asked when he took her hand and pulled her alongside him.
