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Still, she quickly recognized that it had been her that assumed too much. Big Knife was right about that. She felt so foolish now, knowing the truth at last. Big Knife had been the first warrior to ever look at her twice. The first man to pay attention to her.
She felt disillusioned. In one evening she had lost her best friend and the man she thought she loved.
Her father would not let her return to live there now, and Big Knife didn't love her. It would seem her life was over as an Arapaho.
If she couldn't be an Arapaho any longer, then she'd become a Shoshone. Black Wolf wanted her, that much she was sure of. For unlike Big Knife he had said so. If nothing else, he had earned her loyalty.
Four days later, in the evening, Black Wolf came to see her again, she smiled when she saw him waiting outside the tepee. For some reason he looked twice as handsome. But his glance was strange.
"I am glad you are back." It was the truth for something about Black Wolf made her feel so safe.
His face was a mask, she couldn't tell anything about what he was thinking.
"We will marry tomorrow." He told her solemnly. "The women will take you to bathe away the impurities, if you actually have any." He said softly.
"Of course."
"Then you will be dressed and guided to the marriage grounds which will have been blessed. We will say prayers, and drink from a two spouted vase. We will wear our blue blankets signifying our past lives that we will put away from us, then we will eat mush from all corners of the earth. After more prayers and chanting, they will put a white blanket over us to signify our union of being one. We will ride a pony to our tepee in the forest. We will be married. But know this, I will not take you unless you want it. And you must tell me you want it."
"It is fair, perhaps one day." she answered almost anxiously. He looked so handsome standing there, staring at her. She felt an urge to go into his arms to welcome him home, but she stood still. She had been foolish with Big Knife as she would not do the same again. "But first, I have a confession to make." She said looking into his eyes now.
"I see, then go ahead and confess, I will listen." He smiled.
She bowed her head. "While you were away, I went back to my camp. Actually, two times… "
"I see, go on." He encouraged. There was no anger in his voice now, but he seemed eager to hear it all.
"The first time I left, I went to see my father."
"There is nothing wrong with that." Black Wolf nodded.
"Yes, well, the second time, I didn't get there. I heard voices before I got to the camp. It was Big Knife and Naomie. They were making love. In the woods."
Black Wolf's head raised a bit in surprise. "That had to be unpleasant for you."
"Embarrassing mostly." She replied. "They are madly in love with each other, and I never realized it. What a fool I have been."
"It is easy to be a fool when one is in love."
"Perhaps, but this was the first time I thought I was in love. Still, I know little about it. Black Wolf, he is going to marry her, and he only bothered with me because I was the chief's daughter. Just like you said about your women, they would love being married to the chief, but they forget you are also a man. So Big Knife forgot I was a woman too."
Black Wolf nodded, "Now you can appreciate why I did not marry one of my tribe. I am a chief and that is why all the women wanted to marry me. Not because I am a man. But I am a man first, just as you are a woman first not a daughter of a chief. So it would seem we have much in common. And Sasha, I knew about the first time you left."
"You did?" she shrieked.
"Yes, I did. But the fact that you have come to me, and admitted it freely, before we marry, makes me feel we might can trust each other."
She nodded numbly, "Yes, I agree. And trust is important, is it not."
"It is. I have missed you!" he said softly.
"I-I… " she stared into his eyes.
Then suddenly he was kissing her, with such sweet abandon she clung to him. When he finally released her, he stared into her face, "I am glad you told me. Trusting one another is the first step to love… goodnight my sweet."
She stared with an open mouth. "Goodnight." she whispered.
But before he walked away, she called to him, "You're not upset?"
