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When he did not come back for so long, she went outside looking for him. He stood just a few feet away, his hands in back of him.
Silhouetted by the sunset, she stared at his body. He was well built for a man. His arms rippled with muscle, and yet he was so tender with her. He had wide shoulders, a slim waist and barely flaring hips, with long legs. She couldn't help but stare. It was like looking at him for the first time, it mesmerized her.
Comparing her experience, she realized she'd never looked upon Big Knife in that way. Why hadn't she, if she truly loved him?
Black Wolf came closer.
Then suddenly, he handed her flowers.
"Oh, for me?" she gasped staring at how beautiful they were.
"For you." He smiled.
"They are beautiful." She gasped. "No one has ever brought me flowers."
"It is a white man's custom. I have seen soldiers at the fort, when they like a lady, they bring her flowers. And she sniffs them and loves them. And thinks well of the soldier and his gift."
"It is a good thing, between them, then?"
"Yes, I believe it is."
They walked back to the tepee. She felt awkward again and wondered when she would relax. For all this talking of kissing and making love had her tense. She didn't fear him, she feared what she might blurt when he kissed her. "I did not mean to insult you. I have just discovered Big Knife didn't care for me like I tho
ught. It's embarrassing to misjudge something like that. Naomie is much prettier than me, and she loves him. I'm not bitter, I'm just trying to figure out why I thought he did."
"Perhaps because he proposed."
"Oh… yes, I guess so."
"That was his mistake, Sasha, for he did not love you."
"Yes, I see that now." She hung her head.
"You did not insult me. And I daresay this Naomie could not possibly be as beautiful as you. I left because my desire was growing, and I felt you were not ready for that." He told her.
"Desire, another word I haven't used much." She said quietly. "I did not realize the Shoshone were such a passionate tribe."
"We love hard and fight hard."
"I think you use the word love too quickly." She blurted.
His face was a mask now, "We will talk tonight, and then maybe someday, you will understand the words desire and love much better. But I don't want you to want me because I would make love with you. Or I would replace Big Knife. Rather I would want you more if you could say the same of me."
She stopped and stared into his face. "I will not say the words, as it is too soon to tell. Only when I am sure will I say them to you. Until then I will be your dutiful wife. Is that fair!"
He nodded, but there was no smile and she missed his smile.
Then after they returned to the tepee and ate, he nodded. "It is fair, Sasha. But perhaps I should not kiss you so much, as it leads to other things. Things you are not ready for."
She heard disappointment in his words, but she was being honest with him.
After they ate, he played the flute for her and she listened and smiled.
"You play well," she said softly.
"Thank you. Do you like music?" He asked.
"Very much."
