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"Well Pa, I really did it this time," Trudy shook her head, a tear falling down her cheek as she paced her bedroom.
Her eyes went around the room. "It's so beautiful here, this room, this house, this land, and he's gorgeous Pa. I don't think I've said that about any man before. And the way he kisses me, takes my breath. I've never met anyone like him before. It's a mistake, I know, but it's a lovely one."
She wrapped her arms around herself. She had a strange habit of talking to her dead father, and some might think her daft, but it's how she dealt with his death. Like he wasn't entirely gone from her life. She clung to that part that she could talk to. She missed him so. After her Ma died so suddenly from the pox, it was just her and her Pa. She'd felt like at ten, she had to take care of him. She learned to cook as soon as her Aunt Betty came to stay with them and taught her many things, like how to sew, how to cook, and clean house. Aunt Betty helped with the bills while she stayed there too. And she stayed there because of Trudy. By the time her aunt married and moved away, Trudy knew how to handle the household well.
As she grew up, her work for Mr. Mason the town Mayor, took most of the day time hours. At night she went home to see after her Pa. He'd curry the one mule they had, and clean out the barn, and drink his bottle. Her mother had a big inheritance when they married, and the money lasted them for a good eleven years. But by the time his wife died, Mr. O'Toole was broke. And Trudy went to work to try to support them, she offered to scrub floors for the Mayor like her mother had so many years. She wondered at that. Her mother had inheritance from her family, but she still scrubbed floors. So, one day, just before her mother took sick and died, she asked her. "Ma, how come you got an inheritance, and you scrub floors?"
"Honey, money don't last that long, especially when you start out with nothing. Grandpa left it to me when he died, which wasn't that long ago. The first five years married to your Pa, we had very little. My grandfather left that money to me because he felt I'd never have anything if he didn't. He was right, we never had much, but, the one thing no one could give us."
"What's that, Ma?"
"Happiness. Your Pa and I have always been happy together. That's why I married him. He was so sweet to me, and he made me laugh. When you love a man truly, nothing can beat that, not even money."
"Was it because Pa drinks?"
"Baby, he didn't always drink. He started in when we moved to St. Louis and he gave up the sea. He missed it so. I never told him, but I enjoyed him being home with me more, but I knew he longed to work on the big ships. The sea gets in a man's blood. I wanted that money to last us. It wasn't that much when you stretch it over the years, honey."
Even though her father drank, he was a sweet drunk. He never quarreled with anyone and everyone liked him all over town. Only everyone knew what a drunk he was and how Trudy was missing out on life for herself.
Trudy didn't mind. She made a promise to her dead mother that she'd see after her father, and she kept that promise. It was important to her. For her father had made her mother a happy woman. Even though her father and mother ended up in poverty, they were never sorry for marrying each other. Not many could say that.
Now, Trudy knew it was time to find a way to make a better life for herself. She'd always wanted to be a cook, like her Aunt Betty. She loved cooking, baking, finding new recipes. She often ask the cooks at the Mayor's house for new recipes and they shared them, wondering what a little girl would do with them. Trouble was after her Aunt Betty left there was little fancy cooking at all, food was scarce. When the Mayor's cook found out how poor Trudy and her Pa were, she sent her home with food, like extra potatoes, and when the cook's husband went hunting, he always managed to have some extra for Trudy too. Like her mother, she never complained about the hard work though. Her mother told her long ago 'it builds character'. Still the knowledge of cooking gave her ideas on how to stretch the food they did have.
She sighed now, all those days were gone, and she kept them tucked tightly in her memory. She had a lot of good memories. Her folks saw to that. The only thing she didn't have was a beau of her own. She wasn't ashamed of being poor, she never had been. She did an honest day's work, there was no shame for that.
But for the life of her, she didn't know why she hadn't spoken up at the church. She had to admit it, but she was as guilty as her boss.
Somehow, she'd pray that this would all come right.
She appreciated the chance to cook here, though. Her only problem was trying to get through the days without too much embarrassment.
She looked around the room, "Oh Pa, how could I marry such a rich man? And how can I hold my head up here? I got myself in a mess and don't know how to get out of."
"Never lose your sense of humor." A voice in her head told her. She knew it was her Pa speaking. He'd said it so many times to her.
"Thanks Pa, I needed that." She murmured as her eyes closed and she went to sleep.
When someone nudged her sometime later, she jumped up and found herself very close to her new husband. "Oh, you startled me."
"Sorry, you were sleeping soundly. Feel any better?"
"Yes, I'm fine, thanks."
"Dinner is ready, the boys are eating with us tonight, I wanted you to meet them all." He told her with a smile.
She nodded and got up. But when he left, she realized all she had to wear was her cotton dress, it was a dark blue and not very pretty, but they might as well get used to it, she had few clothes. Two dresses. A riding outfit, a cotton dress, and the beautiful dress she came here in. Maybe after she got her first pay, she could buy some clothes for herself, at least enough to not embarrass herself around all these men.
She combed her hair the best she could putting a ribbon around it to hold it back. Hair and cooking didn't go together, her Aunt Betty had told her many times. She put the cotton dress on. It was not a beautiful dress, it fit fine, but it looked like something someone would wear to a funeral. In fact, she had worn it to her father's funeral. Scrubbing floors for a living didn't provide much extra after paying the rent.
"Here goes nothing, Pa." she murmured as she opened her door and went to the kitchen, her head held high. It was huge and had one long table where all the men could eat with them.
Some of the men began to gather now, but she went outside to see if she could help serve it.
"No, you go sit at the table, I'll serve it all, tonight me and George that is."
"George?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am," and old wrangler came around the corner of the house and stopped suddenly to stare at her. "My God, you weren't kidding, she's beautiful." George shook his head in wonder.
