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"What would I do without you, Jackson? But please, not a word to Ralph about this."
"Never fear. The heel hasn't even inquired about you since he's been here." When she didn't react Jackson went on, "Naturally, your undying gratitude is always appreciated, now go home, I'll call you later."
"All right, but if you need me," she began only to be cut off.
"I'll call, now go on."
Kelsey berated herself for being so weak, but she simply wasn't feeling well enough to argue with Jackson. Besides, she knew Jackson was totally capable of handling everything. "Jackson," she paused. "Remind me to discuss a full partnership with you, later. That is if you're interested."
Looking surprised, Jackson's brow raised, a sign he was very interested. "I'll remind you, if you're serious."
An hour later, she parked her car in the driveway and went inside. She told Dorothy she was going to lie down and didn't want any calls except from Jackson.
But sleep eluded her, she tossed and turned, her excitement and fear loomed now that she was alone. Sadness welled inside her. Alone, the word that haunted most of her life. She was still alone, except for the tiny life growing inside her.
How silly to be sad, now of all times, she scolded herself. Isn't this exactly what she had wanted? Yes, a baby, at long last someone to share her love with. But not just any baby, Nick's baby, a very special baby.
How would Nick react if he knew she was pregnant? Should she call him? She wanted to, but his words kept echoing in her mind. He didn't want to know about the child. Keep it impersonal, she reminded herself. However, that night in Nick's garage had been anything but impersonal.
Nick had been so quiet the next morning at the garage, not mentioning their night of passionate lovemaking. He acted cool and indifferent, as if nothing had happened. But it had been earth shattering for her. Nick had awakened the real woman in her, made her realize what loving a man was all about.
Even in her marriage she never experienced such sensations from a man's touch. It hadn't been just the sex, either. And thinking of it in terms of sex, she shook her head. We didn't have sex, we made love. She'd felt an emotional bond with Nick, feelings of warmth and caring she'd never shared with anyone, not even Ralph. If only she could have wrapped her arms around Nick the next morning and told him how she really felt. In that brief span of time she had never felt so cared for, so protected in her life, as though Nick's love might shield her from all the hurts of life.
But pride had kept her lips silent, that and the fact that she had so brazenly used Nick for her own purposes. Well, she got what she came for all right, and that was the end of that.
God only knew what Nick thought of her now.
She ached to call him, to tell him about the child they had conceived in the back of that '57 Chevy. Maybe she was using the baby as an excuse to talk to him again. But she so needed to hear his voice, just his voice.
Being pregnant seemed different this time. Carrying Nick's baby thrilled her beyond words, and yet, she felt anxious, too. She was terrified of being a mother. Yet this was what she had dreamed about, had asked for, what she believed she wanted and needed from life.
Who would the baby look like? Would she be black haired and dark skinned like Nick, or blue eyed and blonde or perhaps a mixture of both? Kelsey preferred the latter; otherwise she'd never get Nick out of her head. Although she feared this constant heartache would not go away. He had touched more than her flesh; he had touched her heart and her soul.
Guilt riddled her. She had used Nick for her own means. Granted she had paid him for his services but nonetheless she had used him. A man like Nick. She wondered if he hated her. He had every right. She had purposely and selfishly seduced him. She had sought him out to have a child, regardless of cost. And the cost had been much higher than she could possibly anticipate. Sex hadn't made her fall in love with Nick; she'd been doing that ever since he walked into her office that morning so unsuspecting. It had been the reason she was so sure she wanted Nick to father her baby, his strong sense of family obligation, his loyalty, and the fact that he didn't bother to hide how much he cared for his family. Who wouldn't fall in love with a man like that?
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And now she was going to have his baby!
Yet something vital to herself and the baby was missing. She now realized that without Nick, the victory was shallow.
~~~
"So, would it be out of line if I asked if you were pregnant?" Nick's voice sounded throaty, even to himself. He had waited for her to call, but she never did. It had been two months, long enough to know, he reasoned.
"I'm going to the doctor this afternoon. But, yes, I think I am."
Nick groaned inwardly. Pregnant with his child. Did Kelsey have any idea what this did to him? Feelings of joy mixed with anger surrounded Nick. Protectiveness squeezed in on him. He wanted to march over there and claim what was his.
But where was the exuberance in her voice? She didn't sound as happy as he expected her to. Was something wrong and she wasn't telling him? Shouldn't she be happier?
"Are you feeling okay?"
"I've got a bad case of morning sickness, actually. That's what makes me so sure I am pregnant, though. Some foods make me ill just smelling them."
"I'm sorry for that, but congratulations, I guess."
"Thanks."
