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"Maybe I should," his voice sounded distant.
"Goodnight, Ben, and goodbye," she said looking at him one last time.
"Yeah, I'll walk you to your door," he insisted.
"That's not necessary," she began, but he was already out of the truck and on her side. He put his arm around her and the same familiar feelings swamped her.
He stood there staring in the moonlight at her, his face a wad of frowns and confusion. "You are quite a lady, Savannah."
"Thank you," she barely managed, her throat was hurting from the strain of holding back tears.
"I've got a question for you now," he said slowly coming closer.
"Okay," she wished he would just go, it would be so much easier than standing here wanting to throw her arms around him and not being able to.
"What was that about in the saloon?"
Hadn't she answered that question before? Didn't he understand? The question startled her, confused her. How could she explain it. She wasn't sure herself.
"Every girl wants love, Ben. Not that I thought I'd find it there, but I thought maybe I'd do my ego a little good. Chad had betrayed me. That was a little hard to take. It left me feeling inadequate. I've been accused of being too prudish all my life, expecting too much. Too blind to see. All my friends have flirted enormously with many men. I hadn't done much of that before." She glanced at him and saw his brow go up. "Okay, I hadn't done it at all. Not that I was any good at it, but I guess I was trying to assuage my bruised ego a little too. I needed to feel like a woman again."
He nodded slowly, "Savannah," he said her name like a prayer, and he gathered her slowly to him, looking into her face, as though searching for something. "You're more woman than I've ever known before. More beautiful than a spring day. As innocent and sweet as a newborn babe. I'm sorry I've man-handled you. Sorry, I was so rough on you. You deserve better. But at least take this with you, forever..."
And then he kissed her.
Not with the heat of passion, not with the force of desire, but with the gentle and tenderness of a real lover. This was the man she knew was in Ben Hogg. And she was helpless in his arms. He feather kissed her nose, her forehead, her lips, over her eyes, and he didn't touch her anywhere but the sides of her face as he withdrew.
She felt weak, and right then, she knew she had lost the only man she could ever love, and all her dreams were going down the tube. Ben Hogg was leaving her with a kiss of an angel.
"Goodbye, Savannah, and I wish you luck..." and then he was gone.
Chapter Nine
Stunned from the strange evening she had spent with Ben, she hadn't noticed her aunt coming down the stairs as she entered the old farmhouse.
"Well, how did it go?" Aunt Lucy asked as she joined her in the living room.
"I think we've said our goodbyes." Savannah sat her purse on the floor and moved about the room nervously.
Aunt Lucy's forehead wrinkled, "Goodbyes? But why, I thought you were rather fond of him."
"I was, I am. But he let me know early on that he wasn't interested in marriage. And I am. It's the one thing I am sure of, Aunt Lucy. I want what my sisters have, happiness, a family."
"Oh dear, I'm so sorry." She seemed to be preoccupied with her own thinking. "Can’t you at least be friends? You and Ben?"
Savannah glanced hesitantly at her Aunt, "I don't think the way we feel, it would be a good idea. You see, I've fallen hopelessly in love him...but..."
"That's too bad dear. Ben is a wonderful man, done a very good job here in Junction. I'd like to see him settle down and have a family," Aunt Lucy was saying. Not wanting to embarrass her, she didn't look straight at her, but picked up her tattering and talked with a soothing voice. "Does he know you're in love with him?"
Savannah's eyes widened, "Oh please…he hasn't a clue. And even if he did, it wouldn't matter. He's been very honest with his feelings on the matter. I understand, it's just…"
"I’m sorry dear, really sorry. But at my age, I can tell. I'd say he's pretty close to the same feelings, too. So, what are you going to do about it?"
Savannah hadn't a clue. She supposed it was over with, before it got started. What could she do? She'd at least been honest with him about her feelings.
"I have no plans," she said quietly, not liking the sick feeling that thought gave her.
"In my day, when I wanted a young man's attention, I'd find me another, and that would get his attention real quick." Lucy chuckled.
