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His smile widened. "You don't have to explain…" He pulled her chin up once more so the moonlight shone on her face. "When you make love, you feel your way through it. All those crazy feelings inside, they come to life and you know."
"But you don't think I’m ready? Why?" She asked, perplexed her voice breaking.
"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you love me?" He asked.
She looked away.
"Can you?"
"I-I think I do in so many ways…" she cried and glanced at him. "I've never been in love before. All I know is that when I'm around you, I go weak. When I'm around you, I want more…And I don't care, I just want those feelings to go on."
"But you aren't sure are you?" He pulled her chin up again and this time he held it, kissed her tenderly on the lips and shook his head. "When you can say it, and mean it, then you'll be ready. Not until."
"I want to Wade…" she encouraged.
"I know that. So do I…" He held her now in his arms, steady, but she heard the thunder of his heart too, and knew that he was feeling the same way.
"So what do we do? I'm your wife…don't you want me?" She cried.
"Want you?" He nearly shouted, his voice exploding with emotions. "More than anything, and right now. But I promised you I'd wait, and I will…And believe me, when we do, it will be right…so very right. What we have is growing, I can feel that. But, I don't want to make love to you and then you wake up in the morning crying because I did. It's all very new to you. And these feelings they are all part of the mating game. I want you t
o experience all of them. I want you to want me, but love me too."
"But I don't understand. What we want is natural. We're married. Why do we have to wait?" She cried.
His thumb absently stroked her cheek.
"Because what we want is filled with lust for each other. And when it's filled with love…we'll be ready. It's only been a week, darling…I rushed you into marriage. I won't rush you into making love."
"Hold me…help me calm down. I've never felt this way before. I don't know how to control my feelings around you. I want you to kiss me all the time, and yet, it's not enough…I know it isn't. I want to please you, and be your wife in every way. I want to become… as one! Like the bible says."
He did hold her, and his cheek touched hers, he kissed her there. "But this…is not something I will rush into. And we will be one…someday."
"Promise?"
"Promise!"
He took her hand and walked her to the cabin. He helped her unbutton the dress, and take down her hair. His hands splayed in her hair for a moment, then he backed away.
His mere touch ignited flames throughout her body. Flames she didn't know how to put out. It was miserable.
She went behind the screen to put on her night gown and take off her dress. The cool night air tightened her nipples and she looked at herself. Was it the air, or him? She remembered his thumbs caressing her, how her body responded and she felt something older than time spreading through her from deep within her. Did she love him? Could she say it and mean it? Or was this just the body wanting something and not the soul? It confused her.
But he tossed her something.
"What's this?" She asked.
"Your new nightgown." He laughed.
"Is there anything your forgot?" She asked with a chuckle.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you looked tonight?"
She laughed. "Several times…"
"Well, you are sweetheart, believe me."
"I think you're beautiful too!" she sighed.
