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"I knew you were beautiful, but I never imagined how it would be to look at you, all of you! But our coming together was greater than even I imagined. You were so uninhibited this time. So free loving. And so damned beautiful." he said nuzzling her breasts, as he kissed her there. "I thought you would be timid and shy again. Making love becomes you."
She reflected on that, "I probably would have when we first married. But given this time, I was so ready…It's almost like you were priming me for the moment in my life, and I'm not disappointed. It was more than I ever dreamed."
The pleasure she found in him glinted from the passion of her glance.
They spent the night making love. Each time was better than the last. She wasn't timid or shy with her body, and so trusting of his love making. And the waiting had been so worth it, because she was ready for him now. She had grown up, become a woman, become his wife, she smiled at herself.
The next morning dawned too early for them, but neither complained, instead they had goofy grins on their faces most of the day.
Beth felt like she had come into herself now. She'd never been a woman more than last night, in his arms. A month was too long to ever be away from him. She'd never felt such a freedom with anyone before. She had found her home, with Wade, in his arms. Where she belonged. What was so wonderful was how comfortable she was with him. She felt untethered, free, and so in love with her husband.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Within a month's time Jacob had become completely invaluable to Wade. To have someone he totally trusted was to his great advantage.
Beth was thrilled they got along so well. The tension in Wade seemed to ease and even though his job was tedious, it was less so now.
Jacob met General Martin and Wade assured the General that Jacob was completely trustworthy. He also informed him that Jacob could be a go between when needed and could do other tasks so that everything went smoothly.
The only problem was the General's declining health.
"If something should happen to me, they will send a replacement. Someone that will not be conspicuous." The General concluded.
"Let's hope that doesn't happen, General." Wade assured him.
Months passed and the north realized they'd have to prepare for and plan their battles more carefully. The south took on an air of a quick end to the war. Casualties were mounting and tension rode high. The battle of Shiloh taught them that the war was enduring and both sides had to dig in.
Months passed, and the damage the war inflicted was a scene at every port now, towns burning from the cannon fires, soldiers dying by the thousands, some laying in the streets, the burial details took longer than the battles. The wounded outnumbered the able bodied soldiers.
And just as tension seemed unbearable, Beth had astounding news.
"I'm going to have your baby," She announced one night as Wade lay lamenting of the war and it's scars.
He jerked up from the bed, and stood up, staring at her, "Are you serious?" He asked, his eyes round.
"Of course. I wouldn't joke about something like that." Beth smiled.
Wade seemed to take the news less vibrantly than she expected. She thought he was be ecstatic over it. Instead she saw more tension.
"I thought you'd be pleased." She cried, standing on her knees in the bed.
"I am…" he began, choosing his words carefully. "It's just…the timing…"
"I'm sorry. Is there ever a right time?" She asked hesitantly.
"No, I guess there isn't." He sighed heavily. "I suppose if the war was getting better, I'd be thrilled. But at this point I'm not sure it will ever get better. I want you to consider going home again for a while."
"Home? Wade–this is my home. That trip taught me this. Don't you know that by now? I don't want to leave you! I refuse to leave you again." She nearly shouted, unable to believe he couldn't be happy about the baby.
"And I don't want to worry about you…and the baby." He shouted back.
She stood stunned, he never raised his voice to her before. She was devastated.
"I'm sorry. But you have no idea how bad things are right now, Beth. If anything happened to you now, I couldn't bear it." He insisted. "I'm going to have to be a physical contact for the General now. He's totaling unable to continue those duties. He's recommended me for the job and I've accepted at their approval. They've given me a commission, I'm now a Major in the union army."
"That' wonderful, I guess."
"In some ways yes. In some ways it makes my part with the Confederates more dangerous. If I'm caught, they will hang me."
