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“It’s what I want.”
Maybe I could be stronger if I wasn’t in love with her, wasn’t the guy who’d run through fire to give those I care about what they need.
I fall over her, slide myself between her folds. Our eyes meet, and the need I see reflecting in her gaze matches my own. I hold for one second, one long second that feels like a millennium, as I struggle to figure out how I’ll ever come back from this.
Maybe I don’t want to.
I slide my hands under her ass, and lift her hips. As she lies there, her body poised and open to me, I inch into her, stopping when I can’t go any farther, but wanting more, all of her. I seat myself high, and pant against her throat. Her soft hands race over me eagerly, as we hold one another, like our very lives depend on it—like we both know there is more going on here. I set the boundaries from the start of this thing, drew a line in the sand, and we both agreed. But we’ve crossed the limits so many times, all that’s left is scuff marks in the dirt, and a wide open heart. We hold tighter, stay like that for a long time, and I revel in the feel of being buried in her hot flesh.
I move slowly, and her whimper curls around me. She lifts her hips to meet me, and again I can’t help but think how perfect we are together. I shift to look between our bodies.
“I love the way you take me,” I say as my cock reemerges, only to disappear into her hot depths again. “Shit, you feel good.”
“I love the way you fill me,” she says and draws my mouth back to hers. We kiss, deeply, and I pick up the pace, move a little faster and rub my pelvis against her clit. She moans into my mouth, her sweet pussy gripping me tightly as I plunge hard, blunt strokes that bring on her second orgasm. She shatters around me, her sex muscles squeezing tight, gripping my cock, like it’s a lifeline in the storm, as her cries of ecstasy vibrate through me.
“Yes,” I groan and close my eyes, exploding inside her and filling her with my cum as I disappear with her, overwhelmed with my need for closeness, her touch. I come and come and come some more, filling her completely. I find her mouth, kiss her deeply, possessively, leaving my mark of ownership. She kisses me back, and my heart pounds faster as I collapse on top of her, a pressure swelling in my chest, as she hugs me tight.
She might have hurt me in the past, wronged me in a way that gutted me, but there is no denying I love this woman. I love her with every goddamn fiber of my being. I always have.
So what the hell am I going to do about that?
I go back on my knees, and pull her until she’s sitting. I brush her hair from her face, and her soft demure smile, the smile of a well-fucked woman, shuts down the last of my thoughts.
“Come on. We’re not finished,” I say.
“We’re not?” she asks.
“Not by a long shot.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Londyn
I’M PRACTICALLY HOPPING around the villa as the clock strikes seven. I dart to the front door to look out, then back to the living room to admire the tree. Judging from my anxious state, you’d think I’d just downed a dozen espressos, but I haven’t had any caffeine since this morning. I’m just insanely excited about what’s going to happen, any minute now.
I truly can’t believe I pulled it off. Cason caught me sneaking around a few times, whispering on the phone and dashing out when he was busy working. He has no idea what I’m up to and I’m secretly thrilled. I just pray, pray, this turns out the way I want, and he doesn’t get angry with me for overstepping.
Good Lord, that first night I called Peyton, getting her number from the contacts on Cason’s phone while I thought he was still sleeping, was nearly a bust. I had no idea I’d woken him and when I turned to find him behind me, I was sure my mission to create new Christmas memories had been foiled. But he didn’t ask questions, and I didn’t supply answers.
I wasn’t sure how Peyton would react to my idea, and I’m sure she hates me, although she didn’t seem at all surprised to hear I was in Cannes with Cason. Nevertheless, she jumped at the idea, and I can’t help but wonder if she was a bit lonely all by herself back in New York. Even if she does hate me, what I’m doing isn’t about me. It’s about a boy and his sister and helping them find a new, happier way to get through the holidays.
“What is the matter with you?” Cason asks, as he comes from his office and plants a warm kiss on my lips, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, like we’re an old-time couple with an easy comfort and intimacy between us. I almost laugh. We do go way back, and the truth is, I’ve never felt this way with anyone. In his arms, I feel safe, cherished and appreciated. He brings out the best in me, and his belief in me has bolstered my confidence and makes me want to get out there and leave my mark on the world. The hell with those who never believed in my abilities. I don’t need them. I’ll do this on my own. Well, with a little help from my friend. The man I’m in love with.
God, I love him.
Really and truly love him. I’m done denying it, and if I’m being truly honest with myself, I’d never stopped, not even after he said terrible things about me. He’s always held my heart.
He represents a safety that allows me to put myself out there. He was right though, when he said I didn’t fight hard enough. I have been letting fear of failure hold me back.
“Londyn, are you okay?”
His voice pulls me back. “I’m fine,” I say quickly, and he arches a brow.
“Then why are you so agitated?”
“I’m not agitated. I’m excited. It’s Christmas Eve!”
He turns and looks at the tree. There’s a sadness about him he’s trying to hide—for my sake. My heart swells with all I feel for him. Over the last week we’ve had so much fun talking about Soft Wear, planning ideas, and talking about having the launch next fall. He even surprised me with a fashion show in Nice, and that night I finally met my idol, Luis Laurent. We actually talked about my idea. I pretty much needed cement shoes to keep me grounded. Afterward, Cason had a private meeting with him, and I don’t know who they were discussing—I think Luis’s newest intern, a position I’d die for—but words like lacking in skill and pedestrian were tossed around. I feel sorry for the designer, and is it awful of me to think that I could apply for the position if she’s let go? Yeah probably. Nevertheless, these last two weeks have been a true fairy tale, one I never want to wake from.
