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Now, assembling the lobster meat BLTs he’d planned for lunch, Ryan’s mind kept tripping back to the same thought. This is more than a fling. More than an itch that needed to be scratched. It might have started as a challenge, an attraction he couldn’t explain or deny, but when Bethany let down her guard and let him in, he found himself in a place he never wanted to leave. Their connection was intense and incredible.
It was perfect.
He’d known they made a good match in business, balancing each other out—no matter how infuriating it was at times. But seeing what it was like with her on a personal level, he had no doubt they were a team that should stay together. He would tell her about his plans for the company and get her on board with him. Maybe she wouldn’t want to leave Jared, and he could live with it, though the idea of her spending all that travel time with one of the other team members made him grit his teeth.
He wanted her to spend her time with him. He wanted her to spend every night with him, to wake up in his arms every morning, and to spend cold Sunday mornings in front of a fire with him. Not stuck on an airplane with some jackass who didn’t know the first thing about how to make her laugh. Or worse yet, with some jackass who did.
Bethany’s head popped around the corner, a gleam in her eye, excitement in her voice. “Ryan, look what I found.”
She held a pair of cross-country skis in her hand.
“And they have boots in every size back there. We’ve only got a few flurries outside. Let’s go out.”
He piled their lunch onto a couple of plates and walked over to check out the skis. “Nice. How about after we eat?”
Her eyes tracked down to the sandwiches he held out before him, widening in appreciation. “God, you’re good.”
“It’s all part of my master plan. I’m going to wheedle my way into your heart with food.”
Leaning the skis against the wall, she took a plate and headed out to the fireplace where they’d begun picnicking on the floor. “Wheedle away.”
Ryan sat down across from her and took a bite. It was rich, good. Bethany had lemon butter dripping down her chin, which she wiped away with the back of her hand.
“Delicious,” she groaned around a mouthful.
He could barely see the tightly wound woman he worked with. This was Bethany relaxed, more than he’d ever imagined she could be. It was damn sexy.
Glancing up at him, she still had the sparkle in her eyes. “I haven’t been on cross-country skis in years. I’ve got a Nordic Track in my living room, I enjoy the exercise, but I’m suddenly dying for the rush of cold air on my cheeks as I glide over the snow.”
That was another one. “So, you’ve got a Nordic Track, a treadmill, and a stationary bike in your living room? Sounds like you’ve got everything you need to almost do the activities you love. What’s next? A swimming lane in the hall?”
Mid-bite, she froze. Then slowly she set her sandwich down, swallowed, and looked up at him.
The jab was meant as a joke, but he saw he’d touched on something deeper and darker than he’d meant to. “Beth, I was kidding….”
She shook her head. “No, you’re right. I’m afraid of everything I used to love. You know, I used to ski, snowboard, I did triathlons. I loved to rock climb, hike, mountain bike, even skydive.”
He didn’t know what to say. It didn’t sound like the woman he knew at all, but suddenly he could see her doing all of it. “What happened? Why’d you stop?”
“My dad...he was the one who got me into all of that stuff. He loved it, made me love it. Anything and everything. The bigger the risk, the better the high. He lived life to the max, never caring what was next, never caring about anything but the next big thrill. He lived like that right up to the day he got killed. Right up to the day he died and left my mom and me with nothing but a bunch of beaten down sporting equipment and a pile of bills we didn’t have the money to pay. When he died, I got scared. I stopped living, I stopped doing, because I was afraid of how much there was to lose.”
Ryan reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand. “I’m sorry. That must have been tough. How old were you?”
She leaned into his hand, making him feel like his touch had some small power to soothe. Making him feel the slightest bit less helpless.
“I was sixteen. Old enough to get a job after school and help out with the bills. Young enough that I had the time to work hard at school, make sure I got grades for scholarships and a decent college. I grew up in a hurry, got smart about my priorities. The rug wasn’t coming out from under me again,” she finished with a dismissive shrug of her shoulders.
Shoulders he couldn’t help but think had held a burden bigger than they were built for. No wonder she was so tough. So driven. So obsessed with playing it safe.
Unease crept into his gut, tugged at the comfort he’d been feeling. Something was about to go wrong. Something he didn’t want to deal with, but now more than ever, he knew he was going to have to. Not this minute. Bethany had just confided her deepest secret to him. He needed to let her get her grounding back before he threw another curve ball.
She glanced up at him, curiosity in her eyes. “What?”
“Nothing. I always kind of wondered what made you so strong. Now I have my answer.”
“I don’t know that I’m so strong. Focused, might be a better way to put it.”
“Persistant? Stubborn?”
