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“Bethany, I’m not talking about it. I’m doing it. It’s on paper already. Jared knows. I think it’s one of the reasons why you and I are here together. He wants the relationship—working relationship—between us solidified to keep the companies united when the time comes…”
Her head spun. Ryan was a job jumper, she’d known it from the start, and here he was doing it again. So what was the surprise? What was the problem? That inability to stay in one place, that restlessness, set off alarms in her head. He would always be looking for the next big score, the next high. His thrills came from corporate adventures rather than sporting, but the business world had pitfalls, too, with dire financial consequences.
Just like her father, he’d made her think there was nothing better than being along for the ride. But this time she wouldn’t stick around for the crash and burn. She wouldn’t be the one left to pick up the pieces of a broken life again.
He was still talking, but she wasn’t paying attention. “Stop, Ryan. Stop.”
He took a step back, crossed his arms over his chest.
“Look, I’m happy for you. You’re going after what you want. Best of luck to you in all your future endeavors—”
“Damn it, Beth, don’t talk to me like I’m some rejected job candidate. This is about us. I want you to come with me.”
A dark thought crept into her consciousness. No, it wasn’t possible. He wouldn’t have seduced her to lure her over to his company. She swallowed down her doubts and insecurities. It was too cruel, impossible. It was something she didn’t want to know the answer to.
The armor slapped up around her heart and mind. She could feel herself closing off to him. “Let’s not kid ourselves. There is no us.”
He looked as though she’d slapped him, hurt enough her resolve faltered.
“Ryan, can you really say I’m wrong?” She half hoped he’d fight her, tell her she was crazy, but he just stared past her.
Uncomfortable, she shifted her weight. “Without question, I’ve enjoyed our time together, but fundamentally you and I approach life differently. Honestly, this is the very reason I was apprehensive about working with you in the first place. You’re always ready to jump.”
His eye fixed on her hers then shifted away again. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I know exactly what I want. I’m driven to go after it, just like you. We take different paths, but our goals are the same.”
She wanted to laugh. “I don’t think you know me well enough to understand my goals.”
Disconcerted by his split focus, she turned and followed his stare to the window where two cars were pulling
to a stop in the drive. Her mouth went dry, her mind blank. Blank of everything beyond one simple fact. It’s over.
From behind her, Ryan’s voice was low, gravely. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re wrong. We need to talk more.”
The front door burst open and Bethany spun toward the entrance where a man in a parka with a walkie-talkie in hand filled the doorway. She swallowed down her disappointment and confusion and offered the only greeting that seemed appropriate. “Thank God you’re here.”
Chapter Nine
January 25
Alone on her couch, Bethany stared at the emptiness of her life. A sparsely furnished apartment filled with impersonal exercise equipment and completely devoid of all sentimentality. No snapshots littered her walls. No nick-knacks cluttered her counters. No calendars scheduling get-togethers with friends, birthdays or anniversaries lay on her desk.
She was hollow. So how was it that the void of her heart hurt so much?
The day passed like every other. No calls from her mother. No visits with family or friends. Not that there ever were, but today it hurt more than ever before.
She was lonely. How had that happened? The answer was obvious. Ryan. He’d made her experience life, not from a safe distance, but intimately. Made her feel, made her connect, made her love. And she’d thrown it away. What was wrong with her?
The hiss of the gas fireplace and push of forced air from the fan were a poor substitute for the heat and sound of the roaring fires at the lodge, but she settled for what was available. Nothing really mattered without Ryan there to share it with her. She understood that now, when it was very likely too late to matter.
She’d refused to listen when he’d wanted to talk to her. She’d been too stubborn and scared to give him the chance to explain his plans or where she fit into them. Too afraid he’d say something she didn’t want to hear, confirm her fears that he was reckless with his life and future.
So she’d clammed up, turned cold, and tuned him out. Hell, she hadn’t even ridden down the hill with him. She’d gotten in the car, where her precious bag rested, and waited for the driver to take them back down. Ryan came out and stuck his head in the car, asking if she’d let him talk to her some more. But she just shook her head and told him she’d see him at the office. He nodded and let her go. Back to her chosen life of loneliness.
Well, she could be secure in her solitude now. Secure in the knowledge that she wasn’t putting anything at risk, because she had nothing she cared about.
Looking down at the empty spot next to her on the loveseat, her heart ached as it had since they’d pulled away from the lodge and the man who showed her what living was.
She clutched the phone in her hand, her knuckles turning white. The battery was charged, the signal full strength. All she had to do was dial.
