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The air surrounding her was thick and warm, the shower ready. She stepped into the hot spray, closed her eyes, and bowed her head into the stream. She washed herself slowly, taking time to cleanse every spot he’d touched, every inch of her body. Washing her leg, she thought of the way his tongue had snaked up the length of it, ankle to apex, and the memory of it almost made her call him, invite him to join her for more play. No more tonight, though, or he would be there in the morning.
She turned off the shower and reached for her towel. Rubbing it over her hair, she squeezed the water from the sodden mass and dried the rest of her body.
What would she do when she went back out? What would she say to him? Polite conversation was pretty much out of the question at this point. Even the time for impolite conversation had passed. She didn’t want to trade barbs anymore. She knew where he stood. So where did that leave her? Hiding in her own bathroom indefinitely? No. She smoothed lotion into her legs in long sweeping circles, up over her hips and abdomen. Her arms and neck. She combed through her hair, keeping her eyes on the door. She was being ridiculous. If she didn’t want to sleep next to Brian, she could simply curl up on the couch for the rest of the night and maybe take off early, before he woke up.
The knob felt cold in her grip as she turned it, eyes shut, and pulled the door open. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose.
Brian wasn’t there. She’d been bracing herself for…what? She didn’t know. The bed was empty, the door of her room open to the rest of the silent apartment.
She walked out to the living room, checking the hall bathroom and kitchen along the way. Nothing. He was gone. She went to the front door and saw that he had switched the lock to engage when he closed the door behind him. Thoughtful. She almost laughed. Throwing the deadbolt, she turned on the lights, wondering if he might have left a note…something. But, of course, there was nothing. She didn’t know why she kept searching for a sign that he’d considered their time together as more than the sex it was. There wasn’t going to be a tender note, promising thoughts of her until he saw her again. They had fulfilled a need in each other and that was the whole story.
Flicking the lights off, she headed back to the bedroom. The air was still heavy with the musk of their play. She smiled, enjoying the fragrance but wishing she didn’t have to lie down on the sweaty sheets after she’d just gotten clean. She sat back on the bed, feeling the quilt under her. The bed was made, sheets and quilt pulled up to the pillows—once again at the head of the bed. Before he’d left, Brian must have pulled the sheets back on to the mattress and then…no. She felt under the quilt. Flannels covered the bed now. Her eyes now adjusted to the darkness, she realized he’d stripped the bed—the pile of sweaty sheets lay in the corner of the room—and changed the sheets while she’d showered. That was…sweet? Another strange contradiction was all she could think before sinking back into her fresh bed and falling asleep.
Chapter Six
After sleeping in until almost eleven, Amber started a load of wash, put on her sneakers and went out for a run. As a rule, she preferred to run in the early mornings, before the day got too hot and while the paths were still all but deserted. Now, she was faced with the Saturday morning crowd: families and couples, out picnicking at the lakefront, milling in and out of her way. She’d come out needing to clear her mind, but was finding it harder by the minute. Not
exactly the satisfaction she’d had in mind, but she put in her five miles nonetheless.
Returning home, she was jumpy and irritable. Restless. She did some chores around the apartment and decided she’d head into the office and double-check some of the code on her project. She needed to get her head back into work.
When she walked into the office, she was surprised to see the lights on and several computers booted up. She must not be the only one with a need to catch up. There wasn’t any reason to be concerned about safety in the office, the only people allowed access had to enter using a key card and knew the code for security. Whoever was here was supposed to be here.
Walking briskly through the maze of cubes, she swung her laptop case off her shoulder and set it on her desk. The repetitive swish and clunk of the copier sounded from down the hall. She plugged the laptop into her network port and started to boot up while she headed to see who else was in and grab some coffee.
Knowing her footsteps were muted by the industrial grade carpet, she offered a “hello” in warning as she approached the corner. The shuffling of papers ceased and a freckled head popped around the partition just as she was about to turn.
“Amber! Awesome. Here to get a little work done in the peace and quiet?”
She smiled politely. “Yeah, Eric. Looks like great minds think alike. I’m surprised to see you here, actually. Isn’t it enough that they displace you weeks at a time, without making you work Saturdays as well?”
Eric’s smile faltered. He started to reach for her hand, but seemed to think better of it, ultimately stuffing it into his pocket.
“Look, I’m actually here now because I was hoping you wouldn’t be.”
Amber felt her cheeks redden. But he quickly went on.
“No, not because of us. I miss you, no doubt about it, but that makes me want to see you—not hide from you. I’m here because of some problems we’ve found on the Spanex project. They asked if I’d check some of your work. I’m sorry, babe. Didn’t think I’d find anything and didn’t want you to have to know about it.”
He brushed his hair back from his face and shrugged sheepishly.
“I…I’m sorry they put you in this position, Eric. I don’t know what to say. You didn’t find anything else, did you?”
“Nothing really worth reporting.” He licked his lips and shook his head. “A few little things, but they were easy to fix so I went ahead and made the corrections. I wouldn’t have even mentioned it to you, but here you are.”
The job meant so much to Amber, she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want someone acting as a safety net to keep her from making mistakes. She didn’t want to make them at all. It was humiliating.
As though reading her thoughts, Eric went on, “I’m serious, Amber. You do great work. This little stuff is nothing to beat yourself up about. Just some code errors. I’m good at finding them, that’s all.” He reached out and pulled her into a quick hug and then let her go.
“Remember the JAX project? That time we were here until midnight?”
“Sure, that was intense. A lot was riding on getting done on time. It was exciting.”
“I know, I remember how excited you were,” Eric said in a low voice.
Amber looked up at him and knew exactly what he was talking about. They’d caught a cab together after they finished, and he’d walked her back to her apartment. The rush of completion and success had gone to her head and they’d ended up falling into bed. Somehow the relationship had gone from there. Until he’d been promoted and left for New York. And she’d realized she simply didn’t care that much.
“Yeah, it was a thrill. Eric, I’m here for the same reason you are. I’m trying to make sure there aren’t any other mistakes. I need to get back on track—”
