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She moaned as he dipped into her, stroking from inside. She was starting to rock against him, needing more than his hands and his mouth to invade her. She wanted his cock pressing between her legs. And he was ready. He retrieved a condom and quickly covered himself, positioning the thick head at her hole.
“I need you, too,” she heard herself whisper as he leveled his muscular chest over her. He eased inside, finding no resistance in the drenched channel. She’d never wanted him more, never needed to be connected to him more.
He filled her, pressing in as she pushed up and over him, wanting to hold him completely within her body. His width stretched her open, making her moan as she took him completely, giving against his depth. When she sheathed him to the hilt within her taut walls, he paused, pressing even further until she began to seize around his shaft, shuddering as he moved in and out of her, making sure to brush her clitoris at every slow stroke.
She received his thrusts, slow and steady, again and again. Felt his muscles ripple and bunch with each motion, tensing tighter as he drew closer, bringing her along to another crest. At last, she cried out, clenching so hard around him, Brian shuddered and gave in with a roar as she raised her hips to match his last thrust, she gasped, “I need you too.”
Chapter Nine
For a long time they lay together, Brian’s face resting against her stomach, his chest over her hip. The damp shocks of sandy hair, sticking up invitingly from where she’d curled her fingers through it, grabbed it, held it while Brian had buried himself within her, now seemed forbidden territory. She wanted to curl her fingers through it, smoothing the mess only to ruffle it again. But that wasn’t what happened after they were finished. After they had used each other for the night. No, she would get up, walk into the bathroom and turn on the shower. She would talk herself out of the feelings that boiled in her heart. She would wash her body and clear her mind. And when she returned to her bed, Brian would be gone. That was how it went. What she was supposed to do. Only tonight she was afraid to move.
She could sense that something was different and a sadness filled
her heart when she realized the change in tone probably signaled goodbye. Her chest and throat tightened at the thought, but she resisted the gasps and chokes that threatened to come. She would wait until he was gone, and only then would she give in to her despair.
She took a deep breath and inhaled his masculine scent. Tears perched at the corners of her eyes. His hand began to move lightly over her hip and thigh. A gentle touch. Light. Fingertips grazing her skin in slow circles. It wasn’t seduction. It felt more like a simple passing of time, enjoyment, perhaps a study of the one he was with. It was tenderness and that was enough for her to confirm her suspicion.
Tenderness seemed almost a cruelty to her now, knowing it meant the end. She couldn’t bear to feel it any longer, to know what they could have been—maybe what they should have been. She pushed up from the bed, forcing herself to be cool. Brian eased off her, but still refused to meet her eyes. She understood. Giving in for only one brief second as she stood up from the bed, she turned back and ran her fingers through his hair and down the side of his face. Time to let go of the fantasy. She willed her legs to move, one step at a time, to the bathroom where she shut the door behind her. Starting the tap, she sat on the flat edge of the tub, letting the water warm and the tears roll down her cheeks.
What was she doing? Crying over a fantasy? It was ridiculous and yet she couldn’t stop. She turned on the spray and rose to step into the spacious shower. The water rinsed her face, sluiced over her body, between her breasts, down her back, buttocks and legs. She would force her emotions back into check. She would reorder her life. Regain control. She knew finding someone else should be on the list, but the idea of another man was something she couldn’t bring herself to consider.
And then, through the distortion of a clear shower curtain decorated with tiny stars, she saw the bathroom door open in a dark wide void, only to be filled with the huge, naked mass of Brian. Her heart stalled. What is he doing in here?
This wasn’t part of the routine. She smoothed her soaked hair out of her eyes and pulled back the curtain an inch. He met her stare as he leaned against the doorframe, comfortable in his nudity, but clearly disconcerted by his attempt to infiltrate her after-sex sanctuary.
He rubbed his jaw and looked around at the bathroom. “So you had a crush on me in high school?”
Amber blinked water and confusion from her eyes. “What?”
“That’s what you said that first day at the train. Who else did you crush over back then?”
Defenses came slamming in as she forced her expression to remain flat.
“I don’t know…what do you care?” Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt the skin across her body tighten uncomfortably regardless of the water beating down against her shoulders and back.
He pushed the curtain open further. “I’m curious. Who? Just one name, who else?”
Amber looked around the room, shifting her eyes from one spot to the next, growing more anxious by the moment. This was the most uncomfortable she’d ever been with Brian. “I can’t remember their names. I mean, it was so long ago. I only remembered you because I nearly walked into you. This is silly. What are you getting at? Trying to figure out if there’s anyone else I’d let jump me on sight?”
“No, damn it!” He shoved the curtain aside and grabbed her shoulders. “I want to know if it’s true. If there was just the one guy, and he—I—turned out to be worst disappointment of your entire life.”
When she found her voice, it was barely a whisper. “Who have you been talking to? What did they say?”
His brows furrowed deeply as he leaned in, closing the distance between them. Only inches apart, she saw what she had thought was anger, was actually anguish. Desperation clouded his eyes.
“Brian—”
“Just tell me the truth.”
“Yes… No. I mean it’s both.” She sighed and looked into the face that had haunted her for years. “You were the only one. But, this has not been a disappointment. Look, Brian, even back then I had enough sense to know that I didn’t really know you. Sure, I knew enough to build the foundation for an incredible fantasy, but that’s all you’ve ever been. A fantasy I used to keep everyone else away. Not intentionally. But when I saw you, when you smiled at me, I felt something incredible. Something no one else made me feel. It was overwhelming and intense. I waited, but I’ve never felt it with anyone else. No one could compete with what I wanted.”
Brian stood stock still, his face unreadable.
“When we ran into each other after all of these years, that feeling swept through me and I didn’t want to let it go. I didn’t expect you to be the man I dreamt up in my head. I wanted to find out who you really were, and for a while, it was even better than my dream. But I guess nothing lasts, and the rose colored glasses have to come off sooner or later. I was angry, frustrated because I’d been so close to finding someone who really moved me. Made me feel everything.”
He took a step closer. Licked his lips, but Amber continued, needing to get it all out.
“That night at the bar, with the drink—when you followed me home…the chemistry was so strong, I still couldn’t resist you…I gave in. Lived in the fantasy with the body and face and voice that started it all. Only, every now and then, I see the guy from that first night in you, and my heart starts to break because I want you so bad. But, that’s not who you are with me. And now, I’m pretty sure I know where this is going.” Her voice cracked as she admitted the truth. How could she make herself so vulnerable to this man?
