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“Of course,” says Riley, her voice a rasp. “It’s good to hear that the Omegas are receiving such wonderful treatment.” Her voice catches at the end, and I rub a soothing circle into her shoulder blade.
“You know,” says Papa in that fishing tone he often uses when he’s about to interfere in my life. “We never thought Thane and the boys would ever pick an Omega for their pack. He’s been so averse to it for so long. And with so many of them dying of cervus these days, it’s a risk that’s hard to take.”
Riley tenses underneath my hand, and another shiver passes through her body. I flinch at her reaction. My parents are making me out to be such a jerk. Is this what Riley thinks is my priority when it comes to choosing an Omega? I would never throw out an Omega just because they became sick. The reason I haven’t chosenheryet is that I’m not sure if she’s right for us, but I’m not some unfeeling jackass.
“Of course,” Riley murmurs, her jaw clenching, eyes glimmering in a way that makes me worry she might cry. My chest tightens at the sound, and I struggle to catch my next breath. This is too much for her. I shouldn’t have pushed this.
I look at her hands, clasped so tight her knuckles are bone white beneath the table and guilt washes over me. Her magnolia scent intensifies, and I notice a bead of sweat at her temple and kick myself for ever putting her through this.
“Thane is the sort of man who will always do what’s best for the future of his pack.” She unclasps her hands beneath the table and shakily reaches for mine atop the table, patting it while giving me a small smile. She nods, just one quick movement, and I pick up on the double meaning in her words.
She’s saying she understands me. My worries. My position in the pack. And if I tell her to—if I think it’s what’s right—she’ll walk away.
I just don’t know if I can tell her that anymore.
TWENTY-ONE
—
R I L E Y
The Woodses are workingon a cure for cervus, an actualcure. I want in that trial, but in order to get into it or even apply, I’d have to reveal everything. I’d have to reveal I’m a liar.
I’d have to reveal that I’m dying.
And dash any naïve hope that the Woods pack will accept me as their mated Omega.
But Thane’s father’s reminder of his son’s aversion to selecting an Omega is still ringing in my ears. He’s already refused me. This is all a ruse.
Soon, I’ll be handed off to another pack like a used car at auction, ridden hard and put away wet.
My vision blurs, obscuring the others around the table and I blink to clear my eyes, wiping clammy palms on the skirt of my suddenly suffocating dress.
“Now, Thane,” says Richard, sipping on his wine glass. He and Craig are the only ones drinking. I could blame their careless words on the alcohol, but I think they would still be saying it, wine or not. “We really could use your help with the new trial. You could assist so much with the research. And you know our research is really where all the prestige is, not in endocrinology.” He shakes his head with a chuckle. “Endocrinology. You might as well be a family doctor. Working with Band-Aids and stitches instead of saving lives.”
Thane hasn’t moved his hand from my shoulder, but his fingers curl into the seam of my dress, quivering with tension. How can these people do such wonderful things for the world and yet be so annoying? So clueless? So self-absorbed?
Do they not care what Thane wants at all? Do they have absolutely no consideration for his happiness? No respect for the limits of what he can mentally endure and not endure?
“We’ve talked about this,” Thane says, his tone cool and crisp. More level than it should be. “I just don’t have the stomach for studying the disease where I can only make my patients comfortable before they die. It isn’t for me. I tried it for years, and I can’t do it again. End of story. I don’t want to keep having this discussion.”
He’s trying so hard to keep his expression neutral, but there’s a small twitch on the side of his eye, and his voice cracks a little. This poor man, with so much pressure on him to find a way to save people, only to have to watch them die over and over again. It strikes me then just how much older than me he is. I’ve never asked his age, but to have gone through enough schooling to have worked in such a specialized field for years… he has to be close to thirty, even if he doesn’t look it. And yet his parents still treat him like a child. Patronizing him. Trying to control him.
If he says he can’t work with cervus patients, thenhe can’t.
At that moment, I know I can never bond with the Woods pack, no matter how much I want it. Look at how heartbroken their Alpha is just from working with dying Omegas he didn’t even know personally. Imagine how he would shatter if it was his own Omega lying in one of his cold hospital beds. I can’t bond with them, and I can’t encourage any affection to grow. No more nights in the nest. No more laughing with the others. After today, I’ll ask them to find me a new pack as soon as possible.
I won’t force this on Thane. On any of them.
I never should have let it go this far.
Very carefully, I shrug Thane’s hand from my shoulder. It drops to his lap, and his consequent intake of breath is sharp. I’m suddenly very thirsty and pour myself another glass of water from the crystal jug on the table. The tension in the room is stifling, and my back is suddenly coated in a tacky layer of cold sweat.
“Riley, sugar?” Fox asks, his eyes narrowing at me across the table. “Are you okay?”
“Just fine,” I say with a stiff smile. “Thank you for asking.” He frowns but returns to his meal.
“I know you feel that way now,” says Richard, speaking as if we didn’t interrupt him. “It’s something you learned at that common liberal arts college of yours. You know I’ve always admired you wanting to have a regular college experience, but you’ll have to unlearn some of the behaviors you picked up there.” Richard glances around at the other Alphas. “No offense, boys. It’s just different for us. There’s a lot riding on our family name. You have to understand that.”
