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That made me laugh out loud. “Oh, Bebe, you don’t have to worry about Luke being emotionally distant. If anything, he keeps pushing me to catch up to where he is on that score. But hey, feel free to blame my father for not allowing me any pets either when I was a kid.”
“Really?” Bebe’s brilliant blue eyes seemed to suddenly have stars in them. “It sounds like the two of you have quite a lot in common.”
“Well, almost. Your son wanted a dog. I wanted a cat.”
“I’m serious, hon.” She gave my hand another squeeze. “And for what it’s worth, you don’t strike me as being emotionally distant. Private, yes. But emotionally distant? Give me one example.”
Oh, she was good at fishing for juicy tidbits in her son’s relationship, I thought with a chuckle. But that was okay. If I really was Luke’s first serious relationship, I’d have questions, too. “Well, for starters, he’s pointed out that I need to do some serious me-work when it comes to figuring out what I’m actually feeling. For instance, when this whole stalking issue first started, my reaction to it was an almost incoherent level of rage. But now, after talking things through with Luke and doing some deep self-evaluation, I’m beginning to realize that I don’t allow myself to feel fear. I turn it into anger, because anger is easier to deal with. In that regard, I’m not only emotionally distant from my true feelings, I’m straight-up disconnected. Then, of course, there was my reaction to when he told me that I was going to be the mother of his children.”
Bebe let out a sound that made me think she’d somehow gotten stuck with a straight pin. “Hewhat?”
“I know, right? The nerve of any man announcing such a thing to a woman, like he believes she doesn’t have any say in the matter. Though ordering me around and asserting his misogynistic dominance wasn’t the actual reason he said such an outlandish thing,” I hastened to reassure her when she continued to look at me with eyes threatening to pop out of her head. “He said this during an argument where he’d seriously overstepped his bounds, so now that I look back on that moment, I believe it was just a highly effective way of distracting me from how furious I was with him.”
At that, Bebe snapped her gaping mouth closed. “Eden, honey… Okay, I need you to listen to me now, all right? I know my son. No matter how angry you might have been with him, I don’t think he’d say something like that just to squirm out of trouble.”
“You don’t know how angry I was.”
“And you don’t know Luke as well as you think you do if you believe he’d bring up making babies with you just so you wouldn’t yell at him. Honey,” she went on when I began to shake my head, “would it be so bad going to that next level? I only say that because—and correct me if I’m wrong here—I don’t think you’ve allowed yourself the space to even imagine that what he said could be a real possibility.”
Ugh. I’d forgotten Bebe was just as much of a monster as Luke. “He only said it last night, right before I got the call about my father. I haven’t had time to think about it one way or the other.”
“So take the time now. He said you’re going to be the mother of his children. How does that make you feel?”
Holy shit, now she was trying to shrink me. “At the moment, profoundly awkward. I mean, you are Luke’s mother.”
“Nice dodge, but that’s not an answer.”
“Of course it is. It’s just not the one you’re looking for.” When she simply continued to look at me with big, expectant eyes I couldn’t seem to stop myself from doing what she asked. “When he first said it, I was so stunned it was almost like an out-of-body experience. And it’s not just because we haven’t known each other for very long,” I added honestly. “The fact is, I’ve never thought about my future when it came to babies or, you know…family. I had kind of a weird childhood that set my default system to day-to-day survival, not long-term planning.”
“But you’re not a child anymore,” Bebe pointed out gently before something in her expression hardened. “Unless you’re holding out because you think you can find someone better than Luke?”
“That’s not possible,” I blurted without thinking, horrified. “I might call Luke my own personal monster, but the only reason I call him that is because there’s no one else on this earth who understands me better. There’s certainly no one else who makes me feel so much I can’t even think straight or breathe normally whenever he’s near. He’s the only person I’m vulnerable with, because I… I…”
“You… what?” Bebe leaned closer, her expression expectant. “Go on, sweetie. You can tell me.”
“Don’t do it,” Luke said from the doorway, materializing so unexpectedly I jumped halfway out of my skin. My head snapped around to where he stood, only to find him looking more tired than I’d ever seen him as he scowled at his mother. “You just couldn’t help yourself, could you? You just had to meddle.”
“Now, son—”
“Don’tnow sonme, Bebe. Eden’s not here to be interrogated by you. She’s here because all hell’s breaking loose in her life and she needed a safe, nonthreatening place to catch her breath. That means you are keeping your nose out of her business.”
“Hmph. We were just having a girl talk, that’s all. Nothing to get excited about.” She patted my hand before she rose and headed for the door. “I suggest you try to get some sleep, young man. You’re as surly as a bear with a sore paw.”
“Until further notice, there’s a Do Not Disturb sign on this door,” he said without answering, making way to hold the door wide open for her to leave. “We’ve both got our phones with us, so no one should call here looking for us. If your phone does ring and you don’t recognize the number, don’t answer it. Same thing goes for the door, though I honestly doubt anyone will get past Steele, Echo and Nix. Also, don’t prepare any food for us and then come knocking to see if we’re hungry. Just ignore our existence, because the one and only thing we need right now is some peace and quiet.”
“Fine, fine, fine,” Bebe muttered, before she waved a hand at me. “We’ll talk later, Eden.”
“Over my dead body,” Luke announced after closing the door, then abruptly turned back to lock it just in case. “And here I was thinking you’d be in bed fast asleep, safe from the clutches of my terminally curious mother.”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I tried to smile as he came toward me. That wasn’t hard to do since just seeing him lifted my spirits in ways I couldn’t begin to explain. “Which is a shame, because this is one heck of a bedroom. There are actual satin sheets on the bed, Luke,” I added, eyes wide. “I’ve never slept on satin sheets in my life.”
“This particular room was called the Honeymoon Suite when my mother bought it. She still has the sign that hung over the door around here somewhere. I think she put you in this room because of all the sexy-times mojo that comes with the furnishings. Nothing like sexy-times mojo to fight off fear and worry.” Instead of joining me on the ottoman, he crouched down in front of me and took my hands in his. “How’re you holding up, love?”
The strength I’d been pretending to have while in front of Bebe drained away. Somewhere along the way I’d learned that when I was with Luke, I didn’t have to pretend to be anything but me. “All I can think about is heading back to the hospital.”
“You know they said they’d call you if there was any change.”
“I know. And I know I need sleep. You do, too. But I just can’t seem to settle down.”
