Page 86 of Almost Him

“You gave me a place to recover and everything I needed. You’ve been there since I woke up in this forgotten life. I wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for you. Thank you.”

It’s terrible how often I feel like I’m on the edge of tears. My emotions haven’t felt like my own since the day Alden died. “You’re welcome. You’re family, Oliver. I’ll always be here.”

He swallows hard and gives me a small smile, then continues upstairs.

An emotion I can’t quite describe stays with me while I shower and get ready for bed. Some curious ache that makes my happiness for Oliver bittersweet. Perhaps it just doesn’t feel right to be happy after so much misery. Or maybe it’s because Alden isn’t here to see it. When I told Oliver that I’ll always be there for him, I meant it. But it’s too close to the promise I always made to Alden to leave my window unlocked.

In the end, it wasn’t enough. The world still took him from me.

With a sigh, I climb into bed and pick up my phone to distract myself. If I keep trying to sort out my tumbling thoughts, I’ll never be able to sleep. I notice I missed a text from Smith.

Smith

Hey, haven’t heard from you in a bit. Everything is good at the shop. Just wanted to check on you both.

Oliver has more people on his side than only me. It’d do him good to spend more time with them. Breanna brought back his first memory. He needs more of those type of situations, without the pressure. He’s been isolated here. That was what he needed at first, but his panic attacks are fewer and farther between now. He doesn’t get as overwhelmed by noises. Dipping his toes back into his old normal might be good for him.

Me

Hi, things are good here. Will you give me a call when you’re free to talk?

I don’t expect to hear from him until tomorrow, but my phone rings as I’m putting it on charge. Smith and I talk for a few minutes and make plans for him to come by tomorrow. After we hang up, I turn on the TV for some background noise to keep my thoughts at bay and fall asleep listening to it.

The ache in my shoulders wakes me before my alarm. The sledgehammer I chose yesterday might’ve been on the lighter side, but it worked out muscles that aren’t used to it. A lesser ache pulses in my back when I climb out of bed. I need to get back to the gym.

“Are your muscles sore from smashing stuff yesterday?” I ask, joining Oliver in the kitchen.

He grins at me and puts the lid on the blender. “No, physical therapy has me in good shape. Do you want a smoothie?”

“Nah, thanks. I’ll grab something on the way to work. You know you have an eleven-thirty appointment with your doctor today. Tori is going to get you after therapy and take you.”

“Okay.” He picks up his phone and sets a reminder. “I have some good painkillers upstairs. Knock that soreness right out.”

“They’d knock me right out too,” I laugh. “I’ll be fine.”

We’re both in a good mood while we get ready for our day. Oliver doesn’t hate physical therapy like he used to, probably because it’s not as painful now. When I drop him off, he flashes me a smile and disappears inside.

With back-to-back sessions scheduled, my morning flies by. My waiting list of clients is growing. I’m going to need to start working full days again soon. My printer runs out of ink after printing my last client’s receipt, and I can’t remember what I did with the new cartridge. After searching through three drawers, it finally shows itself. A paper sticks to the back of it.

It’s the lease that Alden had drawn up when he bought this place. I run my fingers over his signature.

Make it your studio and chase your dream, El. This time, let me leave the window unlocked for you.

We’d only been together a month. I thought he was crazy.

You’ve been mine since we were thirteen.

He argued it was pointless for me to pay him back once we were engaged, but I insisted. I’d only managed about a quarter of it when he died, and it was willed to me like everything else.

“You got your way on that,” I murmur. “Business is good, Den. You’d be proud of me.”

I tuck the lease in a folder and take it with me to add to my keepsakes. He’s been gone for over six months, and while I’ve managed to pack away his things, I haven’t gotten rid of anything. My garage is packed full. One day, I keep telling myself. One day I’ll be able to face it.

Smith is already at my house when I get home, sitting on the couch beside Oliver. He hops up to give me a hug. “Hey girl, how are you?”

“I’m good. Sorry I wasn’t here when you showed up. I got hung up at work.”

“No worries. I just got here. How’s business?”

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