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“Right? Next time save it for a business day.”
His grin captures me and all I want to do is climb into his lap again. It’s the strangest feeling, having him back when at the same time he never left. It feels like something plucked Oliver from my life suddenly and replaced him with Alden, but the man in front of me is the same. My brain can’t grasp it, no matter how thrilled I am.
He’s only been himself since last night and memories are still coming back to him. Right now, he’s happy to know who he is and glad to be with me, but how long until what I’ve done sinks in?
After we’ve eaten, Alden looks over at me. “Why do you look sad? We’re going to be okay, El. It’ll be a pain in the ass for a while, to get the proof and go through the red tape but it’ll work out.”
“I’m trying to find a way to apologize but nothing that I can say is sufficient.”
His brow creases. “Apologize for what?”
“For sleeping with your brother. For being with you when I thought you were him.” Shame drags my gaze down to the blanket between us.
“Ella, look at me.”
My cheeks burn when I meet his eyes. “You didn’t sleep with Oliver. You had sex with me.”
“But I didn’t know that.”
“Some part of you did, deep down. You even called my name when you came, remember? Do you think I didn’t notice you’ve never said the name Oliver when we were having sex? Not once.”
“I was thinking of you, but that doesn’t excuse it. When you accused me of trying to make you into Alden, you were right. I knew it and I knew it was seriously fucked up, but I couldn’t stop.”
Alden runs his fingers down the side of my face. “When I thought I was Oliver, I knew loving you was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. You thought loving me was wrong, but you couldn’t stop either. You know what that tells me?”
I shake my head, swallowing the knot in my throat.
“That we were born to love each other. Even thrown into the worst case scenario, even when we didn’t know who I was, we couldn’t resist each other. Love doesn’t forget.” He leans to deliver a firm kiss on my lips, then looks at me with a small smirk. “And if we want to talk about being fucked up, I was horribly jealous after you yelled ‘Alden’ in bed. That’s why I moved back to the shop. I was jealous of my damn self.”
“You didn’t know,” I point out.
“Exactly, there’s no blame here. We didn’t know.”
Nodding, I reach to play with his hand. “It doesn’t bother you to know that if you actually were the one who died, I may have ended up with Oliver?”
“No.” My gaze has found its way back to the blanket and he lifts my chin to look me in the eye. “I saw what you went through. If I was gone, I’d want you to be happy and loved. With anyone who treated you right.”
How would I ever have survived the rest of my life without this man? “It was so confusing to me because I’d never been attracted to Oliver or thought of him as anything more than a friend. It makes sense now because it was you.” A smile inches onto my face. “In case you don’t remember, I’ve never been able to resist you.”
He tucks my hair behind my ear and a cocky smile appears. “To be fair, El, who the hell could?” He runs a hand down his chest, making me laugh despite rolling my eyes at him.
The electricity chooses that moment to pop back on and the room fills with light. “Thank goodness. I’m going to crank up the heat so I can take a shower without freezing to death.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me. “Want some company?”
“Fine,” I sigh, getting to my feet and heading toward the thermostat. “But if you come with me, I’m sucking your dick.”
He makes a beeline for the bathroom, and giggles spill out of me. I’m not naïve enough to think that some of this won’t surface as relationship issues in the future, but for now, we’re alright. We have bigger battles to fight.
Maybe he’s right that love doesn’t forget. Isn’t that what we are, at our core? Strip everything away from us and love is what’s left. It’s what we get to keep. We’re just pure love wrapped in soft, human forms.
CHAPTER9
Alden’s voice is the first thing I hear. For so long, my first realization when I wake has been to remember that Alden is dead. To open my eyes to the sound of him talking on the phone is a surreal and euphoric experience that I’ll never forget. I’ll never get used to it or take it for granted.
Wrapping the blanket around me, I join him in the kitchen. He sits at the table, and the look on his face when he glances up at me is worrying. All I can hear is his side of the conversation but it’s obvious he’s talking to Lowell.
“I understand that. Yes, I understand it’ll take time, but it doesn’t sound like I have time.” He pauses then scrubs his hand across his face. “Yes, Midtown Dental. It’s on Leeman Street. I can’t get them on the phone.”
