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Maybe I have a death wish,but after staring at the cut on my neck the next morning, I go wandering. I know I’m being observed, but no one bothers to stop me as I approach the library, except this time when I turn the door handle, it’s locked. It was obvious last night that Phoenix was serious about me staying away from there, but I feel a little roil of frustration in my gut because I’m tired of being half-in and half-out of knowing.
My fate hangs in the balance of whatever the fuck Kane is waiting for after taking my blood and a swab from my mouth. I might be inexperienced, but I know he’s doing a genetic test. I just don’t know what the hell for.
It’s not like it’s a secret where I came from. The entire world knows that I’m the daughter of Guido Romano. Disgusting old men have been making offers for me in exchange for giving my father more power since I hit puberty.
But I also can’t pretend to know what goes on in the minds of men who are true psychopaths. Even James, for as sweet as he can be, has a darkness around him. He’s freely admitted that if Kane ever gave the word, he’d put a bullet between my eyes.
“I’d make sure you didn’t suffer,” he told me a few nights ago, as though that would make me feel better. “But there’s nothing I can do to prevent your death. Not if he wants it.”
Instinct tells me that I should be cozying up to Kane in order to save my life, but the last time he was at dinner with us, I could see it in his eyes that there would be no moving him. I doubtanyonehas ever moved him against his will. He’s fallen for these men, that much is obvious, but I doubt he was manipulated into it.
To him, I’m just a pawn. He’s no better than my father, except he allows a bit more freedom and a bit more kindness before he pulls the plug on my life.
Whatever he does to me, I know I’ll never be the same, but maybe I want it that way. I don’t want to walk toward my death without knowing.
And maybe it was tempting the universe that way that had Ari finding me in the hall that morning. It damn near makes me laugh as his light eyes zero in on me. Before I can even take time to breathe, he has me backed against the wall. His thumb presses into the tender cut from Phoenix’s knife, and I watch his lips as he forms one word.
‘Who?’
“Your other lover,” I tell him, unable to hide a slight bitterness from my tone. I understand and accept that Phoenix didn’t want to spend time around me, but the rejection stings. “He left his library unlocked. Also, you’re an asshole for not telling me all the books are in braille.”
He grins, the look terrifying yet makes me warm all over, and he shrugs and gestures to his throat as if to say, ‘I can’t say anything at all, darling. I’m mute.’
“That’s no fucking excuse,” I spit.
He laughs—I can tell when he does it even though he doesn’t make a sound. He leans in, pressing his thumb to the cut until I groan, and then he laves his tongue over it before turning on his heel and leaving me there all hot and bothered.
Fuck, there is definitely something wrong with me at how turned on I am.
I don’t think I can face any of them for breakfast, so I give up my morning stroll and go back to my room instead, ordering tea and some pancakes from the kitchen. I never see any of the serving staff outside of the dining room, but there’s a knock a short while later and a rolling cart left outside my door.
The food is amazing—as always—and I devour it. It’s easier to eat now that I’ve decided to live. Maybe that was Kane’s plan all along—to butter me up so he could take control once again, but in all honesty, I’m just tired.
Maybe, by the time it’s all over, it’ll just feel like a blessing.
It’s almost noon when I finally decide that I have to get out. Standing in front of my wardrobe, I stare at the meager contents. There are two baggy knitted sweaters, a couple of pairs of leggings that I’ve already tried on and they fit—mostly—and nothing else. No panties, no bras, no socks, no jeans.
And okay, sure, I was told that I could ask for anything I wanted, but the thought of that still makes my stomach twist. I don’t know if it’s the thought of owing them anything or if it’s the thought of amassing things in this place because that just makes it feel permanent.
Either way, I accept the black leggings and the cream sweater, then quickly twist my hair into a braid, which lies heavy over my shoulder, and I make my way out. My feet tap lightly on the wood floors as I make my way down the hallway. The air outside is fairly mild, so I don’t need to try and hunt down shoes for a walk.
I can almost taste the fresh air, but just before I hit the top stair, I hear something. The sound’s muffled, like a groan, and my heart begins to beat hard. For a second, I think someone’s in pain, but then the sound turns into something else.
“Fuck.” The word is loud, on the edge of a groan, and then there’s a thud against the wall before I hear a strangled laugh. “Yeah, fuck. Right there. Right fucking there.”
My pussy goes immediately wet when I recognize James’ voice. My eyes close, and my head thunks against the wall. The last thing I should be doing is listening in, but I can’t tear myself away. I’m pretty sure the room closest to the stairs belongs to Ari, and it doesn’t take much imagination at all to conjure the image of those two tearing each other apart.
“Fuck,” James growls again. “Hold still, baby.”
I shudder and fight the urge to rub myself through the thin fabric of my bottoms.
“Hold yourself open. Fuck, yeah. Such a good fucking boy.”
Jesus Christ. I’m pretty sure I’m going to combust. I need to walk the hell away right now, but instead, I inch closer, pressing my ear to the door and trying to picture what they’re doing. Ari seems like the last person in the world to submit to anyone, but I can see it. I can see him giving himself fully to these men.
Silence falls for a second, and then I hear the dull thud of skin slapping skin in a furious rhythm. I can hear ragged breath through the thick wooden barrier and then James’ voice rising in a grunting, “Uh, uh, uh,” over and over, matching the sound of his thrusts.
My throat’s tight, and my entire body feels like it’s on fire as I follow the sounds, a rising crescendo of moans…the sound of a hand slapping skin…and then nothing.
