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He seems to notice because he eases down next to me and pulls the book from my lap. Glancing at the cover, he lets out a soft sigh. “I know it’s daunting, but—”
“It’s not the sign language,” I tell him. There’s no point in hiding it from these men. I mean, they’re the ones who did this to me, so they might as well know. “I was going to…to leave. I mean, I had a plan.”
He cocks his head to the side, looking just short of adorable, which is a strange thing to think about a literal murderer. “Leave us?”
“Leave everything,” I say. “I was so stupid. I thought maybe if I just stayed quiet, he’d forget about me.”
“Your father,” James clarifies.
I shudder. “Guido. He’s not my father.”
“I know.” His words are soft, and he reaches for my hand, which I allow him to take. He rubs his thumb over my palm, making my fingers open, then lays a kiss to each one. I hate how quickly he can get me to melt because I know he actually means it. He cares about me, and that’s dangerous. “I should think that would make you happy.”
“I don’t know if I feel better or worse. It’s…I can’t believe my mom cheated,” I say. Kane isn’t really sure she did, and I wouldn’t put it past my uncle to do something so shitty. But Kane also thinks my father didn’t know the truth about me for years, which meant my mother kept it a secret. So maybe she had done it on purpose. Maybe she had been trying to hurt him.
And I got stuck in the crossfire—paying for a father’s sins that I had no say in.
“Guido Romano would have done the same thing to you even if he were your father,” James says with absolute certainty. “He’s a sick fuck who enjoys that kind of power, even over people who don’t deserve it.”
I look him in the eye. “Is this the part where you tell me all of you are different?”
“That should be obvious by now, darling girl.” I shudder at the way those little endearments fall off his lips. He cups my cheek and runs his thumb along my jaw. “At the risk of pissing off Kane again,” he says with a small smirk, “I can tell you that the four of us have been obsessed with you for quite a while now.”
I scoff, but then I see the look in his eyes. “How long?”
“Since we started watching your every move. Since Phoenix bugged your dorm and we watched you in your strongest moments and your weakest ones.”
I shudder. I can’t help it. It’s not like I didn’t know at this point how far they were willing to go. After all, they’d been planning to send me to Guido in pieces if they learned that it would have hurt him worse than keeping me alive.
And yet, something must be wrong with me because somehow, I find the idea of them watching me like that almost…comforting?
“We never had a chance when it came to you,” he murmurs. He pushes his hand into my hair and tugs until I’m straddling his lap. I suddenly want him—no, I need him—no matter how sore I am. I grind down and moan, and he chuckles as he turns my head to take a fierce kiss. His tongue ring dances along my teeth, and then he pulls back. “Look at you, sweet thing.”
I sigh, not bothering to be shy about it now. “Will you fuck me?”
He sucks in a breath, then swallows and looks like he’s in physical pain when he shakes his head. “I can’t.”
I pull back, humiliation rushing through me, but he doesn’t let me get far.
He clings to me by the hair, kissing me roughly until I stop fighting him. “I want nothing,” he growls, “more than to sink my cock into your sweet little cunt, darling girl. I want nothing more than to bend you over and fill you with my come and breed you.”
Jesus Christ. I gasp, my pussy throbbing, and I find myself on the verge of begging. “So why can’t you?”
“Because you haven’t decided on that part of the agreement yet.”
The words settle under my skin, and I realize he’s not talking about marriage. I pull back and frown at him. “I hate to tell you this, but Phoenix and Ari both, uh…both came inside me. We didn’t use condoms.”
He smirks. “I know. But they’re shooting blanks, darling. I’m the only one who isn’t.”
For some reason, that rocks me. Not because it’s him—though it does evoke some type of emotion I’m not ready to face. But it tells me that Kane manipulated me again because he said I’d have a choice. But there is none. Not really. Not if I want to have a baby.
“I’m the only one who hasn’t been snipped. Kane didn’t tell you that?”
I swallow, then shake my head. “No. He said I could choose to have a baby or to get my tubes tied. But I assumed—” I stop and shake my head. “It was stupid of me to assume anything.”
“He should have talked to you about it, but he can be a little thick when it comes to you.” I can’t help but smile at those words. His fingers drift up the back of my shirt, and he draws soft lines along my spine. “You can confront him about it later, darling. But honestly, right now, I just want to hold you.”
It’s so odd to feel needy for that, but I’m self-aware enough to know how touch starved I am. I melt against him, and his hand continues to paint careful touches on my skin as he noses along my hair and presses kisses to me.
