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“Why didn’t you say something sooner? You hinted at it, saying I’m just like her, but then you vanished before I could ask more.”
He drags his gaze back to me. “It was wrong of me to say that because I hoped you wouldn’t stay. That you’d leave and I wouldn’t have to tell you the truth.”
“The only reason I came here is to discover the truth, so please, whatever you have to say, I want to hear it.”
His brow creases. “It will put you in grave danger. Which is why your mother fled in the first place, to protect you.”
Spencer is talking in riddles, but with each proclamation, I know I’m one step closer to solving the puzzle of Mom’s links to Arcania.
“So my mother spent some time here?” I hesitate, unsure whether to trust him but needing to join the dots. “After she died, I discovered thevegvisirtattooed on the sole of her foot. I’d never seen it before and it shocked me. When I looked it up online, I discovered it’s the logo for Arcania and that’s why I booked a week here, to find out how my mom is linked to this place.”
“They made us all get tattooed,” Spencer whispers, his words whipped away by the wind. “Branded.”
A shiver runs down my spine. “Who made you?”
“Magnus and Helga Medville. They opened the doors of Arcania to anyone who needed a place to stay and a job on the pretext of organic farming. But what they really wanted was a bunch of minions willing to do their bidding.” Bitterness brackets his mouth. “They ran this place like a cult, complete with charismatic leaders and clueless followers.”
I hate the thought of Mom being brainwashed and trapped here to the extent she had to run so far and hide away. “My mom was a follower?”
Spencer takes an eternity to answer and when he does, his somber expression alerts me to the fact I won’t like what he has to say.
“No, your mother was the daughter of one of the leaders.”
He pauses and I swear my heart stops when he says, “Ava was Cora’s daughter.”
Chapter38
Cora
THEN
I formulate a plan.
If Ava’s gone to such great lengths to hide all these years, if I show up on her doorstep, she won’t let me in. I don’t want to give her a chance to slam the door in my face so the only option is to meet elsewhere.
Not a test to see if she wants to meet me after all this time per se, but somewhere impartial, surrounded by people, so she can see I’m not mad at her. Even though I am. A lot. But I doused my anger with tiny bottles of whiskey and vodka from the minibar last night and while I’m not completely over it, I know I have to play this cool or risk losing my daughter for good.
It’s a weird feeling, vacillating between hope and fury, love, and regret. I hadn’t slept a wink all night despite the comfy bed—I’d checked the mattress brand because guests at Arcania will love sleeping on clouds, which is exactly what it felt like last night—because I couldn’t stop the questions pinging through my head.
Did Ava leave because of me?
Did I do something?
Did she love me at all?
Did she not respect me for staying with Harlan all those years?
Did she blame me for not protecting her from Harlan more?
Or the doozy, did Spencer say something to imply he was her father, and she hates me for lying to her?
It went on and on all night until I rose at dawn, showered, and packed my overnight bag. I won’t be coming back to this hotel. By tonight, I’ll either be staying with my daughter and granddaughter, or on a flight back home. Because if Ava wants nothing to do with me, I will not stay in the city in the vain hope of convincing her to change her mind.
Either she comes clean about everything and welcomes me back into her life, or I’m out of here.
It won’t be easy walking away, but I’ll steel myself. She’s hurt me enough by perpetuating the myth of an alligator taking her. She gutted me. No mother should ever have to live through losing a child and I’m going to use that, appeal to her maternal side, make her question how she’d feel if she lost Lucy.
I’m standing opposite her house by seven a.m. my stomach growling. I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday but I can’t face food, not when I’m likely to regurgitate the lot depending on what happens in the next hour.
