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“Yes, all true,” I conceded.
“You have to understand that I’m not the relationship type.” He ran his fingers through his long dark hair and tousled the strands, an almost desperate vibe emanating from his tall frame with every step as he began to pace. “I’m not a roses and forever, lovey dovey, happy and sunshine kind of guy.”
Staring into his troubled eyes, I tried to discern his point. “You’re not doing a great job of convincing me of anything right now.”
“Yeah, well, it’s best I get this out now while I have the nerve.”
“I’m totally confused,” I admitted. “Wasn’t this an apology?”
He took a couple of steps forward and then stopped, almost at a loss. “Didn’t I say sorry?”
His uncertainty was kind of cute. “Kayde, I have no idea what you’re saying or trying to convey. What are you sorry about?”
“I was mean, short-tempered, antagonistic and rude. It wasn’t fair.”
He was and we both knew it but why did he care now? Why make the effort to apologize at this point? “I forgive you, but I have no idea why you acted that way.”
He walked forward briskly and fell on his knees before me. “I’ve got a troubled past and I don’t handle shit well, especially when I’m forced into situations without my consent.” He sighed. “I was fully prepared to hate you.”
Shocked, I had no idea what this meant. “Why?”
“Because I lost my best friend . . . and the very evil that ended his life is now after his daughter. A woman I swore to keep my distance from and now I can’t do that.”
“There’s always choice and free will,” I pointed out. “You don’t have to do a damn thing, Kayde.”
“Oh, but I do,” he contradicted. “You see, I made a promise to Gil and I won’t break my word. I couldn’t do that to him and that’s why I came here at Gwen’s request. She reminded me of my obligation and was quite persuasive.”
So, he was a rebel. Big deal. His dedication to my father was admirable, but if he didn’t want to be here, this was all kind of moot. “Why do you hate me for it?” Frowning, I wiggled a finger at him. “You aren’t making sense. You told me that my father asked you to watch over me.”
“He did.”
“Kayde,” I replied with a groan. “You’re going to have to make an effort to explain better.”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “It’s not that complicated. I was sworn to protect you after my promise and resented it. I was afraid to lose you like I lost him. It was easier to hate you from the beginning because if I didn’t care, Cass losing you wouldn’t hurt so badly.”
“I see.” It made sense, even if I thought he overreacted.
He frowned, grabbing my hands, and holding them as he searched my eyes and rubbed his thumb over my skin. “We got off on the wrong foot, little witch. Tell me I’m not too late to try again.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why does it matter now? Why do you feel the need to say all of these things tonight?”
“I’m not a sentimental guy, Cass, but you make me want tobemore,feelmore, and,” he paused and let out a breath, “have a connection that I’m lacking in my life. With you, weclick, even if it’s sometimes hostile.”
He was right about the connection. There was a spark whenever we touched. “What do you want, Kayde?”
“Haven’t I been specific enough?”
“No,” I blurted, more confused than ever.
“You, Cassandra.” He leaned closer as my eyes widened. “I just wantyou.”
“You’re not at all what I thought,” I whispered, believing for the first time that Kayde had an interest in someone besides himself and actually cared about what happened to me. “I can’t –”
His lips met mine in a kiss that made my toes curl. His hand rested against my cheek as he pulled back. “Cassandra,” he murmured. “The past doesn’t matter. All I care about is the future.”
