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But wasn't he doing the same thing to Antonia? Forcing her into a life of servitude until her magic lessons were complete?
"Face it, Xaphan, Deimos will never see you as his equal. Nobody in this court will ever see you as their equal. While you continue to blindly serve Deimos, no one will ever see you as an equal!"
"Shut up!" My cracked scream summoned another storm of hellfire that swept through my entire room, temporarily blinding me with heat and light. Thankfully all the furniture in my room were resistant, otherwise I might have needed an entirely new living space. But that didn't stop the glass doors from shattering by the force of my flames, or my furnishing to topple to the floor. Shrouded in a veil of flames, all my anger and fears bled to the surface, feeding my hellfire with every tear I cried out. With every dark thought threatening to suffocate me.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't think.
I was so frazzled; I didn't know what to do.
"Xaphan!" I jumped at the sound of my door pounding. Someone was out there. I tried to regain as much control as needed to reel my flames back inside me. It was difficult, but I managed. I never lost control like this. Not since I was first reincarnated. I hated feeling off balance.
When the last of my flames died, the door smashed open by Helios tackling it with his shoulder. I backed away, still on edge and frazzled after my confrontation with Orpheus.
"Xaphan, what's going on? Are you okay?" Helios demanded. He, Abaddon, Apollyon, and even Antonia rushed into my room. My brothers looked ready to attack, while Antonia's eyes widened with a mix of fear and concern.
"Get back," I growled, my teeth grinding together and my body shuttering with a flurry of emotions I couldn't quell. I'm sure I looked like hell, standing there with watery eyes, spit dangling on my chin, and my skin reddening with heat.
Helios stared at me like I'd suddenly sprouted a second head. He raised his hands up to show he meant no harm, but all it did was piss me off further. I wasn't a fucking wild animal.
"Xaphan, you need to calm down," Helios said calmly as he took one step forward.
"Get away from me!" I jumped back and landed in a crouch position, my skin steaming as the urge to shift was palpable.
"Xaphan, buddy, what's going on?" Abaddon asked, confused and alarmed. "Talk to us. What's wrong?"
"I'm not your buddy." I walked back on all fours, not caring about the broken shards. If any were cutting into my flesh, I didn't feel it.
My brothers and Antonia crowded in my room unsure of what to do or how to act. Their presence in here made me feel like the walls were closing in around me. It was suffocating me. I needed to get out of here. I needed to breathe.
I continued walking back until I was outside on my balcony while Helios and the guys stalked forward.
"Xaphan, listen to me. Don't do anything foolish, okay? You're not acting like yourself. We can't help you if you don't tell us what happened." Helios continued trying to talk some sense into me.
The closer he got, the more my muscles tightened. "Get away from me."
"Xaphan, we—"
"I said get away!" Unable to hold it back anymore, my flames coated my body as I shifted, taking on the shape of my hellhound form. The ground rumbled and cracked as soon as my front paws hit the stone. My hellhound roared with hellfire filling the inside of my mouth.
Antonia, who'd been watching silently, gasped and took a step back. Abaddon and Apollyon each had an arm out in front of her, creating a protective wall while standing at the ready if I chose to attack.
Helios' eyes and hands glowed with a mix of hellfire and magic but otherwise remained still and calm.
Rather than picking a fight, I turned and leapt off my balcony. I heard someone shout my name but I couldn't register who it was. I landed on the courtyard hard enough to leave a crater underneath me. The other hellhounds froze and looked at me in bewilderment, but I paid them no mind as I took off running. I bolted around the castle and headed out the front entrance towards the dark forest. I didn't have a destination in mind. All I knew was I needed to keep running.
My mind was spiraling out of control, leaving me in a state of chaos.
The only thing I knew for certain was that I no longer trusted anyone.
Chapter14
Antonia
"Xaphan!" I shouted out his name right as he jumped off the balcony. Helios ran forward and looked down, cursing under his breath and slapping his hand on the railing.
"He's taken off. We have to go after him," Helios declared.
