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"I couldn't," Deimos answered.
I frowned in confusion. "Why not?"
"I'm limited to what I can and can't see in the human world. Especially when there are billions of people alive. I never got the chance to claim her as my mate, so finding her was the equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack. If she were mine, that would've been a different story, but we never got the chance. I lost her."
So, Deimos helped his love escape her death, but in exchange, he lost sight of her. That meant he didn't know what became of her life. Obviously, Nicholi grew up and had my grandparents, then they had my parents, then I came along. Of course, I never knew of any of them. Nobody was there to warn me about my bloodline, but it felt as if I knew I had to come back to Salem. I felt compelled to learn about my family ancestry and see the place where Marisol narrowly avoided her demise during the Salem witch trials.
Maybe, in some way, Marisol's spirit that was transferred to me through the magic I was born with, led me back to Salem so maybe Deimos could find me.
"What about when she passed away? I mean, surely you would've..." I stopped because I already knew the answer.
Deimos nodded glumly. "Seems like you already figured it out. While she did make her way to Hell after her passing, it was as a reincarnation of a demon with a new face, new identity, new everything. I have no idea where Marisol's soul ended up, or who she was reincarnated as."
I felt a pang of sympathy for Deimos, knowing he was never able to reunite with his love. Honestly, I should've been weirded out at the realization that he and my ancestor had a relationship, and now he was pursuing me. I gasped as dots connected in my brain, and with the new intel I learned, realization dawned on me.
"That's why you wanted me here, isn't it? Because you see me as a second chance of being with Marisol. You can't be with her, but you can be with her descendant."
"Yes and no," Deimos retorted, which had me confused. "Yes, I brought you here because you remind me of Marisol. But no, it's not for you to be a replacement of her. You may be a spitting image of her, Antonia, but you're not her. Your personality is much stronger than hers. You show no fear even when you should. You managed to hold your head high in the face of adversity. You have a desire to fight instead of running. And you have the potential to be far more than you yourself believed to be capable of, and I can tell you want to explore those capabilities."
"But you forced my hand, Deimos."
"I didn't force you to do anything you didn't want to do," Deimos countered. "I gave you the option to choose. I could've left you to die in that fire. I should have. But I wanted to give you the opportunity to decide your fate, and you chose to be mine. You've been mine and yet I also respected your space."
"Respected my space?" I laughed at the audacity of that statement. "You've been seducing me with your shadows before I even arrived here. You call that respecting my space?"
"Yes, because you never once told me to stop. And even then, it was only ever my shadows and not my physical body that's been pleasuring you, correct?"
I didn't bother answering that because Deimos already knew the answer to it. As much as I didn't want to admit it, he was right. I never told him to stop. As a matter of fact, I was crying for more. I did wonder why he never pushed his physical self onto me since arriving here. He could've if he wanted to, and since I did agree to belong to him, I wouldn't have a right to protest. I mean, I could but it would've likely fell on deaf ears.
Taking my silence as an agreement, Deimos pressed on. "I left you alone so you could have time to adjust to your new life. And adjusting you have, judging from how my hellhounds seemed to have taking a liking to you."
I looked away as I felt a blush coming on. I couldn't deny my connection to the guys, but I didn't think Deimos would know about it, or even approve of it. I was supposed to be his, and yet I'd gotten close with Helios and the others.
"There's no point in trying to hide or deny it. The walls have eyes and ears," Deimos declared.
"Wait, you've been spying on me?" My eyes widened.
"Just because I'm giving you space doesn't mean I'm not keeping an eye on you." Deimos chuckled. "I would've guessed you knew this considering the time I bothered you while you were in the bathtub."
Now I knew I was full-blown blushing, because that time in the bathtub, both times actually, were some of the highlights of my adult life.
"Then you don't mind it?" I questioned, wanting to know his thoughts on the matter. I mean, he was still fucking with Xaphan wasn't he? So, if Deimos could fuck around with him, why couldn't I with the others?
"Not at all," he said. "If anything, it gives them further motive to keep you safe. I suspected Helios' legion would be a good fit for you, which is why I assigned them to watch you."
"A good fit for me? What do you mean by that?"
"I mean your personality compliments theirs perfectly. The fact that Xaphan now feels more comfortable around you further proves that my hunch was correct. Helios' stoic and authoritative nature comforts you when you feel overwhelmed. Apollyon is the shoulder you can lean on when you're in need of one. Abaddon's playful bravado helps to lighten the mood when you find yourself in a dark place. Lastly, Xaphan's history with feeling isolated resonates with your own experience back in the human world."
Wow, when Deimos put it together like that, it was hard not to see what he saw in my relationship with Helios' legion. Thinking about each of them, I concluded that Deimos was right on the money. They really did compliment me, and it was because of them that my time here in Hell was becoming far more pleasant than I initially thought.
But I couldn't help noticing how he left himself out of the equation. "And what about you? Don't you compliment me in some way?"
Instead of answering, Deimos stood back up from his seat, walking over so he could stand in front of me and hold out his hand for me to take. I stared into those glowing orbs that flashed like crimson stars in a velvety dark sky. Never breaking eye contact, I rested my hand in his and let him pull me to my feet. His expression was often hard to read sometimes given the unique look to his eyes and his obsidian features that blended him to the shadows surrounding him.
But if I had to assume what he was feeling, the best estimation I could come up with was contempt. Maybe peaceful.
"Oh, I do," he said softly. "I'm the one who saved you. Not just from the fire, but from the darkness that festered in the deep recesses of your mind. From the loneliness and hollowness that you've felt you had to keep to yourself. From the fragile heart you carried that felt like it would shatter any day now. You called this a prison, Antonia, but in these darkened walls of Hell, I've never seen you more alive than you look right now."
