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“Yeah…he’s your boss, Charlie. Not to mentionmy dad.”
“Ugh!” I groan, throwing my arms up. “No, Beau. He didn’t force me or manipulate me. I appreciate the concern, but your dad was actuallyniceto me. Probably thenicestboyfriend I’ve ever had, if I’m being honest. If anything, he was the one pushing me away for weeks.”
“And you go to that…club?”
“Don’t act so holier-than-thou, Beau. I was actually happy with him there.”
“This just isn’t like you,” he adds with his chin up and his shoulders back, body language that I’m used to seeing on him to mean he thinks he knows more than me.
My blood is starting to boil, and it’s taking everything in me not to just walk inside and ignore him all together before I do something really stupid.
“Beau…how would you know what I’m like?”
“We dated for a year and a half, Charlie. I know you.”
I shake my head, staring at the ground. I don’t want to keep arguing with him. I thought we were over this.
“Were you really happy with him?” he asks.
“Yes, but he was never going to commit to me. Not if he ever wanted you back.”
“Did you guys really think I was going to just be okay with this?” He sounds appalled, and the urge to run away is fierce again.
“Yes, Beau. It has nothing to do with you. For once I figured you’d be able to accept that not everything is about you!” I snap.
“He’s my dad, Charlie! Not to mention he owns that…club. Look at it from my perspective. You act like you’re so much happier with him than you were with me.”
My jaw nearly hits the floor. I’m done. Done sparing his feelings. Done putting up with his gaslighting and blaming and patronizing ways.
“Maybe because I was! Even when he treated me like property, I felt more valued, more…liked, when I was with him,” I yell.
“Are you implying I didn’t treat you like I liked you?” He jumps off the tailgate and steps up toe to toe with me.
“Yes, Beau. That’s exactly what I’m implying. Emerson never once made me feel stupid or acted like I messed everything up. He nevercheated on me.”
“This again?” He throws his arms up.
“Forget it. What is the point?” I ask, spinning around to leave him in the parking lot.
“He told me he loves you. Did you know that?”
His words stop me in my tracks. My spine straightens as I let this news sink in. Did I know that Emerson loved me? Maybe somewhere deep down I did. I certainly know I love him. This news should excite me. It should be the best thing I’ve ever heard, but it only hurts me more.
“Like I said…it doesn’t matter anymore.” With that, I leave Beau in the parking lot, shoving the past behind me where it belongs, so I can’t see what might have been anymore.
* * *
When things slow down at the rink around seven, Shelley cuts me loose. But it seems every time I drive home, I get a restless buzzing in my bones. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. The walls of the pool house start to close in on me in a matter of minutes. I’ve never hated being home as much as I do now.
But I literally have nowhere else to go. Sophie is at a sleepover. Mom is on nights, and I’m all alone. This is pathetic.
Grabbing a bottle of wine from the kitchen, I take up the living room couch to myself and flip the TV onto the trashiest show I can find. Then, I proceed to drink half the bottle and scroll through my phone, payingnoattention to the show that’s playing.
The scrolling gets boring after a while, but at least the wine is keeping the restlessness away. I mindlessly flip through Insta-stories, noticing how everyone I know seems to be having a much better time than me tonight.
Then I click on a story that makes me pause. It’s Eden taking a selfie in a dimly lit room with bright pink light cascading across the black brick wall behind her. I’d know that wall anywhere. She doesn’t tag her location in the story…I mean, it wouldn’t be much of an exclusive club if everyone knew where it was, but she’s giving away just enough of her location as if she’s trying to show off to a small crowd of people. People like me, who know about Salacious.
Membersof Salacious…like me.
