Page 96 of Praise


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“Are you paying? I don’t have a job, remember?”

“If you sneak me a sip of margarita, I will.”

I force out a laugh. As much as I want to roll over and ignore her invitation, I can’t do that to Sophie. It’s not her fault I’m a loser who falls for all the wrong guys.

“Fine…let me shower.” My voice sounds like gravel and my head is pounding from the bottle of white wine I destroyed last night. Maybe a margarita will help me feel better.

An hour later, Sophie and I are scarfing down carne asada and queso. I mean, it doesn’t exactly solve all of my love life woes, but it sure does help. You can’t be unhappy in a Mexican restaurant.

About halfway through dinner, I notice the booth across from us. It’s a family with two teenage boys, and I instantly notice the way they’re staring at Sophie. When I hear them muttering to each other, followed by laughter, I grip my margarita glass so hard, I’m afraid it’ll shatter.

Sophie must notice because she stares at me over the top of her soda and whispers, “Just ignore them.”

Looking up at her, I realize…shouldn’t I be the one saying that to her? I mean, we’re used to it by now, and we’ve all learned to ignore the ignorant assholes of the world, but how is my little sister somehow braver and more confident than I am?

“I wish I had an ounce of your confidence, Soph.” I suck down what’s left of my drink and switch to water. Sophie freezes and glares at me with a furrowed brow.

“What are you talking about? Where do you think I learned to not give a shit what people think?”

“Language,” I joke. “And what do you mean ‘I don’t give a shit what people think?’ Ialwaysworry about what people think.”

“Well, you don’t show it. When I came out to you, do you remember what you said to me?”

I stare into my glass and try to remember. I feel like I said a million things to her that year, saying any and everything I could to get her through it. “Remind me.”

“You said what people think in their heads is athemproblem. Don’t make it yours.”

“Damn. I said that?”

“Yep. I thought you were the most confident person in the world.”

“Ha!”

“Then you started dating Beau…” Her voice trails off, and I watch her twist her lips with worry.

We sit quietly for a moment in the white noise chatter of the restaurant as I wait for her to finish that sentence.

“And?”

“And you just didn’t seem as happy. It was like you lost all of that confidence. Especially after Dad left.”

I let out a heavy sigh. “I just keep ending up with the wrong guys, don’t I?”

“You know…I know Emerson is his dad, right?”

I nearly suffocate myself, letting a gulp of water go down the wrong pipe. “You do?”

“Well, let’s see…” she says in a sarcastic tone, “I was with you the day Beau gave you his dad’s address. Two days later, you had a new job. And a month later, you bring this mysterious older man to my birthday party. Doesn’t exactly take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out, Charlie.”

I drop my head, rubbing my forehead. “Does Mom know?”

“I assume so.”

“Why didn’t you guys say something?”

“You were happy!” she snaps. “The happiest I’ve seen you since before Beau.”

“Don’t you know how wrong that was? Dating my ex’s dad?”

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