Page 78 of Eyes on Me


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I swallow. Does he? I think back to the conversation with Drake, and the reminder that they both want things for me that I’m not sure I want for myself. Does Garrett even know how to treat a girl right? He’s great in bed, and like he said earlier tonight, he doesn’t treat me like a thing to fuck or claim or just enjoy. I’m more than that to him.

But when it comes to commitment and relationships, I feel like I’m giving more than I’m getting.

“You’re thinking about that question far too long,” Ronan continues.

“I care about Garrett very much,” I reply. “And I know he cares about me too.”

He leans in with a crooked grin. “That didn’t answer my question.”

Pressing my lips together, I nod. “I know, but that's all I’ve got right now.”

Heaving a long sigh, he lifts his glass to his lips and swallows it down in one long gulp. Then he drops the glass on the bar and turns toward me. “I’ve been married twice and in love more times than I can count, so here’s my advice for you.”

I straighten my spine and turn toward him.

“Love isn’t shit. It’s not worth a damn thing. But time, attention, priority…those things are real, and until a man gives you those, don’t give him the time of day, beautiful. Now, don’t tell Garrett I said that. Like I said…I like him. Hold him to it, though.”

I feel myself tensing, forcing down a gulp as his words hit hard.

“Thank you,” I reply softly.

He smiles as he rises from his barstool and waves to the bartender. Then his hand brushes my back as he leaves, and I’m left staring into the half-empty wine glass in my hands. Time, attention, priority. The three things I’ve always wanted from my stepbrother. For him to notice me. For him to care and let me into his life. I just want to matter enough to him.

Even when I was too stubborn to show it or ask for it.

I suddenly realize just how accommodating I’ve been. How easy I’ve made this for him and how little I ask for. And if I don’t start asking for more, for what I really want, I’m never going to get it.

“All done?” Geo asks as I finish my wine.

“Yes,” I reply, and maybe it’s the two glasses of wine or the pep talk from the silver-haired sex machine that just left, but I’m feeling bold. Empowered. And ready to show Garrett that I’m not some lovestruck virgin who will wait around forever.

“Geo, how do I go about renting a room?”

His perfectly-shaped eyebrows shoot up to his forehead as he stares at me. “You want to rent a room…with someone?”

“No. Alone. A voyeur room.”

That makes the look of surprise in his expression melt into a mischievous smile. “I can help you with that.”

* * *

I learned a long time ago that basing your decisions off of the standard of whatnormalpeople would do leads to a very boring life. The first time I ever went into a private chat on the cam, I was terrified, but I didn’t show it.

So what if other people think it’s crazy? Why would I deny myself something I wanted to do because other people thought it was weird? People who weren’t even involved.

Getting a voyeur room in a sex club by myself is crazy, but it’s been on my mind since the first time Eden led me down here. An idea I brushed away a hundred times because of howweirdother people might think it is.

Well, fuck that. I don’t play by anyone else’s rules.

Geo was able to rent me the keycard for the room and showed me where to enter and how to adjust the lights if I want it darker or brighter. Brighter makes it harder to see the people on the other side, so I decide to leave it dark. I want to see them watching me.

Naturally, I chose a room with toys.

Once I enter, the door closing behind me, I walk up to the glass facing the hall. There are about six people I can see from here. And they’re all watching other rooms, paying no attention to me.

I imagine at any moment Garrett is going to find out I’m in here, and it will be over before it even began. So I might as well make the most of it while I can.

Staring at the window in front of me, barely able to see the people on the other side, I slip my light blue dress off my shoulders, one side at a time, letting it fall to the floor. Underneath, I have on a white bra and purple silk panties. Being half-naked in the window draws the attention of one of the women staring into the room next to me. I have no idea what’s going on in there; I can’t hear or see it.

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