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I resist the urge to throw my phone at him, squeezing it so hard in my hand, it hurts.
“No,” I mutter as I turn away from him, “no, you would not do that to me.”
“Please listen to me,” he begs again, this time stepping closer, but I quickly put up a hand to stop him.
“No,” I say again, repeating myself, because it’s the only word that I can muster at the moment.
No, no, no, no, no.
“It started as a mistake, and I just couldn’t stop…”
My mouth falls open as I glare at him. “A mistake? You watched me… I heard your voice!”
“I know it was wrong, but everything I told you was real. You have to believe me.”
Suddenly, my mind goes back to that night. The first time Drake and I chatted, and I remember everything. “That’s why you came to the lake.” It all makes sense now.
“I had to see you.”
“Was this just one big joke to you?”
“No, Mia. Please listen to me…”
“I can’t!” I yell. “I can’t even look at you. The whole time you were just lying to me…manipulating me…making me fall in love with you.”
He reaches for me, and I act on instinct, my hand flying and landing hard against the side of his face. It feels good, the burning sting against my palm and the anguish on his face. I want him to hurt and feel half of what I feel right now.
“I feel like a fool.Youmade me feel like a fool. You were justusingme.”
Suddenly, he crowds me toward the wall, his face close to mine as he whispers, “I’m the fool. I was never supposed to find your camgirl video, but you were so beautiful, I couldn’t help myself. Then, I fell in love with you, and I’m so sorry, Kitten.”
“No!” I scream, struggling against his arms. “Don’t call me that.”
Storming across the room, I snatch my purse off the counter and fish my keys out as I rush toward the door.
“Please don’t leave,” he begs, the emotion thick in his voice, and when I get to the door, I almost falter. For one split second, I almost stay.
But I can’t. Instead, I turn toward him, tears streaking across my face as I look him in the eyes. “I always wanted you more.”
When I close the door behind me, I take the expression on his face with me. I couldn’t forget that look if I tried.
RULE #32: DON’T FORGIVE HIM UNTIL HE EARNS IT.
Mia
Dad got out of the hospital two weeks ago, and I have thrown myself into taking care of him. It’s a decent distraction and a hell of a lot better than crying in the basement. I’ve already used binge drinking and emotional support shopping to cope, but I’m running out of money, so I need a better distraction.
He’s doing better than I expected, able to walk around the house and eat small meals unassisted, which I find annoying, because I desperately need something more time-consuming. So now I’m being bothersome, constantly by his side, begging him for tasks and trying to do absolutely anything that will keep my mind off the fact that I miss Garrett.
Laura can tell something is up. You can only use the ‘he must be busy with work’ excuse so many times. Especially for a guy who ran three miles in the middle of summer to be with me at the hospital.
It’s been two full weeks since I spoke to him, and I’m still livid, but the worry is setting in too. I was too hurt that night to be angry, and I’ve managed to keep myself from calling him just to yell and tell him how mad I am at him. But also, to check on him.
The voyeur event is this weekend, and I had enough of a hand in it to feel invested. I should be there, but I can’t risk being around Garrett yet. I need more time to think and be angry.
When I go in to check on my dad, he’s not in bed like he should be. Instead, he’s on the back patio, enjoying the sunshine.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” I mutter as I join him in the opposite chair.
