Page 85 of Mercy


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Her eyebrows shoot up. “You’re talking about real pain, aren’t you?”

With a gulp, I nod. “Yes.”

“Is that what you want?”

I drag in a heavy breath and close my eyes for a moment. The image of hurting Beau crosses my mind, not just torturing him with multiple orgasms or orgasm denial, but really hurting him.

“Yes,” I reply, and the admission feels both freeing and heavy at the same time. Does this make me a bad person?

“Good…” she replies as if she’s waiting for me to expand on this answer.

“I want to make him feel pain, real pain. I want to watch him squirm and hear him scream. Is that bad?”

She gives me a devilish grin. “Not at all.”

“I just want to…see how much he can take. Then I want to…kiss it all better.”

“Very good,” she adds. “So, what are you waiting for?”

With wide eyes, I lean closer to her. “Eden, I have no clue what I’m doing. What if I hurt him? Likereallyhurt him.”

Her shoulders melt as she rolls her eyes. “Maggie.”

“What?”

“How many of the impact-play demonstrations have you sat through at the club?”

My brow furrows. “Tons, but that’s not the same.”

“You know the basics. You guys have a safe word. You have his safety in mind and everything is consensual. I think you’re waiting for permission to do what you really want, but you have all the permission you need.”

My spine is still tense as I stare at her. She’s right, but I still feel as if I’m missing something.

After sipping down more of her ice water, she heaves a sigh. “Okay…I have an idea. Do you trust me?”

“Umm…what is it?” I ask, staring at her with concern.

“Let me show you. You can feel everything before you do it to him.”

My eyes nearly bug out of my head. I swear to God, most days it feels like I am not cut out for this business at all.

“You want to…” I point to my own chest.

With a laugh, she squeezes my shoulder. “I’m not trying to have sex with you, Maggie. Relax. But I think if you experience it from his perspective, it will make you feel better.”

“I’m nervous,” I admit, which makes her smile fade.

“Good. You should be. Now, come on.”

As she climbs off her barstool and heads down toward room fourteen, I start to feel nauseous. Glancing around the room, I watch for anyone that could see me heading off into one of our most intimidating rooms, with the most fearsome woman at Salacious.

I should really just be glad it’s not a voyeur room because no one can watch as Madame Kink herself spanks me with God knows what.

Am I really doing this?

Using my universal key, I unlock the door and quickly slip inside before anyone can see us. Immediately, she starts pulling things off the walls as if she’s done this a million times, which honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if she has.

Without a word, I start disrobing, shedding my shirt first and then my skirt, until I’m in nothing but my bra and underwear. I’ve seen her in far less. In fact, there’s not a single friend of mine that I haven’t seen naked at Salacious. I’m really the only one holding back. It makes me feel like such an outsider, but I’ve been doing this to myself the whole time. Letting all of those judgmental voices from my youth ruin my sex life.

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