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“It’s a good night for a fire.”
“Every night is a good night for a fire.”
“Even in the summer?”
“In Vermont, yes. In Houston, hell no.”
“Did you hate living there?”
“I didn’t get to spend much time exploring. I was in the hospital a lot. But my parents and grandparents don’t care for it. Too sprawling and too busy for them after living here.”
“I’m sure it was a shock to their system.”
“It really was. All of it was.”
He leaned in and kissed her the way he used to, as if he’d been doing that all along. “Stay here. I’ll get some wood.”
Lexi couldn’t believe the way this weekend was unfolding. When she’d arrived in Butler on Friday, she’d hoped to see Max, to have a chance to explain why she’d disappeared for so long and to hopefully leave with their friendship back on track. She’d never expected him to ask her to stay forever.
And now that he had?
She was preconditioned to expect disaster. It was hard to turn off the part of her brain that was screaming at her to proceed with caution, to take her time, to protect herself from anything that could hurt her. Her brain was in an epic battle with her heart, which wanted everything Max was offering and to hell with the consequences.
She’d spent years wishing for what he was offering her. Why in the world did she feel hesitant to take the next step? Her therapist would tell her to go for it, to live the life she’d fought so hard to have. But in trying so hard to survive, she’d forgotten how to enjoy life.
Max returned with the wood and had a fire going in a matter of minutes. “I love fire season.”
“I remember that. Your mother called you her little pyromaniac.”
“Yep, Noah had that title in the Coleman family, and I was the Abbott firebug. I went through a stage where I wanted to be the one to start every fire, but my dad was adamant that I was only to do it under his supervision and in fireplaces or firepits. Nowhere else. I think they were worried I’d burn down the town if they weren’t super strict with me.”
“You were always the one building the bonfires in high school.”
“I still do them for the family a couple of times a year. Funny that my brothers are the ones who put the fires out around here.” He returned to his seat next to her on the sofa, turning to face her. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m all twisted up inside. You’re offering me everything I ever dreamed of, and all I can think about is how it might be a disaster.”
“It won’t be. We’d never let that happen.”
“I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of falling back into what we used to have and it not working out for whatever reason. I’m scared of getting sick again and breaking your heart and Caden’s. I’m scared of everything in a way I never used to be.”
“We need to keep you so happy and so busy that you never have time to think about being sick or to worry about a relapse.”
“Busy doing what?”
“Living, Lex. You need to get busy living so you’re not stuck in worry mode. I know it’s hard to undo years of trauma, and I don’t expect that to happen overnight, but the further away you get from it, the less you’ll worry.”
He caressed her face and held her gaze as he moved in to kiss her, lingering this time.
She reached for him and kissed him back, shocked by the jolt to her system that reminded her of the best time in her life, back when she’d kissed him every day. Like it had then, their sweet, innocent kiss evolved into hot and sexy like someone had lit a match.
It had always been like that between them. While her friends had described awkward, fumbling first times with boys who had no idea what they were doing, she and Max had gotten it right from the beginning. She’d been his first, too, but there was nothing awkward or fumbling about it.
During long, lonely months in the hospital, she’d thought about being with him this way. She’d dreamed about him on many a night, and the emotional punch of this moment filled her eyes with tears that spilled down her cheeks.
