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“So thanks for this,” she said, her hands together in her lap, her fingers turning the little silver ring on her left hand. His sister had the same kind. The two of them had been part of the same church purity ring ceremony when they’d turned twelve. The fact that she was still wearing it was a blatant reminder of why he and O’Neal needed to move past what had happened last summer and reset. “I know your mom probably gave you marching orders. But you didn’t have to do this.”
“She did,” he said. “But that’s not why I’m doing it. I wanted to help. I know this has got to be…a lot.” He let out a breath. “Plus, it gives me a chance to say I’m sorry.”
She met his gaze, surprise there. “Sorry? For what?”
He gave her acome on nowlook. “You know for what. For what happened last time we saw each other. I was way out of line.”
She shrugged, the move tight instead of casual. “It wasn’t your fault. I told you. I kissed you. My mistake, not yours.”
“You started it, but I took it too far. I’m not sure what I was thinking. And I’m sorry. I hate that it was your first kiss.” He rubbed a hand over the back of his head, the guilt rolling through him again. “I stole that milestone from you. I feel like shit for that. Your first kiss should be like a special thing.”
“What? Like with the guy I’m supposed to marry?” she said, sarcasm heavy.
“No, I’m not your grandparents, but you know what I mean.” He shrugged. “It should’ve been with some guy you were dating or really liked or whatever. A guy your own age, for starters.”
“Auden,” she said with a huff. “Stop being so dramatic. Yes, the whole thing ended up turning into an embarrassing and awkward moment, but I’m guessing that’s pretty common for first kisses. And you’re forgetting the other part of that day.”
“The other part?”
“Yes. You’re the reason I’m here. You gave me a push when I really, really needed one. I went home that day and filled out the application for Bennette.” She grimaced. “Which is totally going to make me sound like a stalker. But I didn’t do it because you were here. I did it because you were the first person to say,why can’t you?And it gave me the courage I needed to do it.”
Something tightened in his chest.
“And I don’t know if it was the right call or not. I’m completely freaked out about what I’m doing,” she said, giving him a stark look. “Like have almost called home to undo this twenty times today, but I haven’t. And I haven’t because I know I need this. I need to prove to myself and to my grandparents that I’m capable of being an adult and taking care of myself in the real world. That the minute I’m free, I’m not going to go on some wild bender or become another person.”
“Of course, you’re not,” he said, meaning it.
“You don’t know what it’s like, to have this legacy following you around. My mom had a wild streak, and everyone thinks that’s what got her killed. So maybe her daughter is destined to be the same way unless carefully monitored at all times. Like rebellion is genetic.”
“You know that’s crap, right?” he said. “Victim blaming at its finest? Like getting murdered washerfault.”
“Does it matter? People think what they think. My grandparents think what they think.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “I’ve never given anyone any reason to doubt me. I’m not sure what else I could do to prove that I’m not her. Until this, I’ve done every single thing they wanted me to do. What else do I have to do?”
There was a catch in her voice, a shine in her eyes.
He couldn’t take seeing her that way. He got up and sat next to her on the bed, putting his arm around her shoulders, and then gave her a squeeze. Suddenly, all those thoughts he’d had about scaring her back home evaporated. “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, okay? Fuck everyone else’s opinion.”
Her head turned his way, a startled look there.
“I’m serious. Fuck ’em.”
She laughed. “It’s so weird hearing you curse. Your mother would have a fit.”
He smiled. “The joys of living hours away.” He lowered his arm and turned his body toward her. “Maybe you should try it.”
She lifted her brows. “What?”
“Say the words.” He grabbed her hand and manipulated her fingers until only her middle one was straight. He lifted her hand for her and met her gaze. “Sayfuck everyone else’s opinion.”
She wrinkled her nose. “Come on, Auden.”
He grinned. “No, I’m serious. It can feel really good just to say it. Cursing is cathartic.” He kept her hand in place so that she was flipping him off and tried to ignore how soft her skin felt against his. “Repeat after me. Fuck. Everyone. Else’s. Opinion.”
She licked her lips nervously, but there was a sparkle in her eyes. She held the eye contact. “Fuck everyone else’s opinion.”
Her voice was almost a whisper, but the words wound through him.
“Again,” he encouraged. “Louder.”
