“I asked you a question, Drake. Did you say those things? After everything we’d been through, you saidthosethings to him?” Tears line her bottom lashes, but not from sadness. If I had to guess, these tears come from anger.
“There was a lot going on and—”
“Oh, was there?” Her voice sounds more like a snarl than anything. “I forgot how drasticallyyourlife changed.”
I didn’t come here to build a divide between a brother and sister. I have my issues with Drake, but I know how close these two will always be. They were all each other had for a lot of years, and no matter what is going on with me, I wouldn’t want to mess that up.
Drake’s jaw pulses, and he stares at the red and pink and white rocks lining Ava’s walk. Ava starts to say something, but I hold up a hand. “Tweets.” I make a nod to the space behind her.
Ava looks over her shoulder as Charlie prances onto the porch, a smallPaw Patrolbackpack on his shoulders, totally oblivious to the wall of bitterness growing between the adults.
“I’m going to go,” I tell Ava.
“Bye, Ryder!” Charlie says.
I smile. It isn’t even forced. I like the kid, and he’s a bright spot. I fist one hand. “Bye, little man.”
Drake doesn’t make a move to stop me when I bump knuckles with his son. He doesn’t say anything. Frankly, it looks like he’s shut off into some deep place in his head.
I almost wish he’d rage and say something stupid and hot-headed. It would make it easier to dismiss him; it’d make it easier to paint him as a scumbag who doesn’t deserve a second thought. But the truth is, Drake pretended like he had it all together back then. He tried to be the tough guy. I couldn’t see through the hurt of our last interaction for years, but looking back, if I try hard enough, I can see angry words came from a brother afraid for his sister.
I just don’t know if too much time has passed to ever fix what we lost.
Ryder
Age Eighteen
There areparts of this place I’m ready to leave. I think it’ll be good for me and Ava to have a fresh start somewhere else. Things haven’t been the same. My mom tells me Ava needs time, and I get it. Sometimes, when I’m alone, all I can think of are the what if’s and what could’ve been’s.
A small grin tugs at the corner of my mouth. I’m going to propose to Ava before the semester starts. We’d talked about going to college engaged, but now I plan to make it a reality. I figure we’ll wait to get married, but I want Ava to know I want her. She’s made a few comments since her surgery, about how things will be harder for her, and weird things about how that’s something guys wouldn’t want in a partner.
I’m not sure what decade she’s living in, but I want her for her. Exactly as she is.
I’ll never stop wanting her.
It’s a thought that has me anxious to leave, to get to Washington, to start our new lives, but nights like this, just the guys, I’ll miss.
I shut off the ignition and step out of my dad’s old, beater truck.
Drake and I haven’t been quite the same either. He’s been quiet a lot, insists it’s just because he’s been working full time at the hardware store. I don’t know, maybe everyone was more rattled by the miscarriage than I give them credit for.
We’re all off, but this feels normal. Us meeting out back, just to chill.
“Hey.” I smack Drake’s shoulder before I sit on the back porch swing. He stares at me for a few seconds, then stands in a hurry.Okay.
“I gotta talk to you.” His voice sounds like my dad’s when he’s upset at something.
“Figured we’d talk. Like we usually do.”
Drake shoves his hands inside his pockets. “This’ll be quick.”
“What’s up?” A prickle of unease heats the back of my neck.
Drake turns away from me, like he’s talking to the dry grass. “I want you to go to Washington, but without Ava.”
Like a fist grips my throat, I can’t find any shape of a response. What is he talking about?
Drake starts to pace. “You say you love her, right?”
