“You’ve been friends with us. Not the other way around. Like I said, you’re familiar to Ava, you’re convenient. Me, I couldn’t care less what you do with your life from here on out.”
I shove him. “What is with you?”
“You think I want to see my sister tied to a guy like you?” He shoves me back. “You think I want to see her give up everything she’s worked toward, to what? Watch you try to make yourself worth something while she pops out your babies, drops out of school, and is miserable? You’ve already made her miserable. I listen to her cry every night. Every. Night.”
“She wants me as much as I want her. You used to be okay with that.”
“Yeah.” He scoffs, glaring at me. “Until I really thought about it. Why would I want her with you? You’ve been a disease for her. What should’ve been her best year is ruined, thanks to you. And you actually think you’re good for her. You actually think you can make her happy. You actually think you’ll make it to the big leagues. You don’t even try to see how selfish you’ve been, showing her off like she’s freaking arm candy while you never, not once, asked her if this is what she really wants or needs.”
We are going to Washington State because of me. I have a baseball scholarship. I’m not an excellent student, and it was a shot to have school paid for. I took it. Ava didn’t even question, simply said she’d find something she loved up there.
No wonder she kept the acceptance to another school a secret. She’s always put me first. I’ve tried to do the same, but maybe he’s right. Maybe I fell short here.
“Even if we go to Washington first, once I graduate, I can support her in her program,” I say, almost like a peace offering.
“That’s four years from now. She’ll be four years behind everyone else.” Drake’s face flushes in a hot, angry red. “If you care about her, let her live without you. Let her reach something for herself.”
“That’s up to her,” I say. “She doesn’t need you to make her choices.”
“I know my sister, d-bag. And I know she needs to live life without you for a bit. She latched onto you as a scared little kid and thinks she can’t do this without you. Like I said, she thinks she owes you something.”
“She doesn’t.” I blink, embarrassed when emotion starts to billow behind my eyes. His words hurt, but maybe there is truth to them. If Ava’s dream program is here, then she deserves to do it.
“Leave her alone, Ryder,” Drake says. “She deserves better than you. I mean, not even Josh’s family wanted you, right?”
I can’t breathe. My gaze lifts to Drake’s, stunned and broken. He looks away, sort of like he might regret what he said. That’s the thing about words, once they’re out, there’s no taking them back.
He knew what shot to take to cut me at the knees, and he hit it straight on. I wish the words Mitch has said in the past didn’t grate on me, I wish they still didn’t make me wonder if there is some truth to them after all this time.
Ava deserves so much more than me. She deserves everything.
I step back, locked in my head.
“What are you going to do, Ryder?” Drake says. I think there is a tremble in his voice. Maybe regret is buried in there somewhere.
I’m fooling myself; he wants me gone. I say nothing and start heading back to the truck.
“We’re done, Ryder,” he says. There is definitely a tremble in his voice. There is definitely pain. “If you really care about her, you’ll . . . you’ll let her go and do what she truly wants to do.”
We are done. How do friends come back from such harsh truths?
I trusted Drake with everything. My insecurities, my struggles in school, my dreams with baseball.
He’s taken it all and molded it into a cruel blade, then stabbed me right in the center of my back. But he’s not wrong. Ava is better than both of us times a hundred. I did alter her life in a huge way. She has been different, sadder, since it all happened. I hate knowing I played such a huge part in her misery.
I wanted her to revel in my dreams, thought we’d start a new chapter, but I never considered she might have different plans.
I slam the door to the truck and peel out of the Williams’s drive. Drake watches me, his jaw tight, a sunken look on his face.
I’m glad he’s too far away to see the stupid, worthless tear drip onto my cheek.
No more. I’m done with people who say they love me, who say they care, then turn on me and hate every flaw.
Ava’s is the last face I see before I decide to cut ties with this place completely.
Ava
His steps areheavy on the stairs as he returns from putting Charlie to bed. I cling to the mug of tea in my hands. By now it’s probably cold, but I haven’t taken a sip. I’m too locked in a maddening fury to move.
