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The deep, sonorous voice startled Chud so badly he dropped the keycards on the ground and had to scramble to pick them up.
“What? Who’s that?” he demanded, looking around. But the room was empty, except for himself.
“I said, would you like to make the female who holds dominion over you pay? Would you like to make them ALL pay?”the voice demanded and this time it was accompanied by a presence—a dark, malevolent force that surrounded Chud like a storm cloud filled with lightning. And the presence was most definitelymale.
“Of course I want to make her pay!” he exclaimed. He could feel the short hairs at the back of his neck and all along his arms standing up. Whoever was talking to him was bad fucking news—he could tell.
“I will make you a god among men if you do as I say,”the unseen speaker promised.“But you must swear to make them pay—all of them—all the females who have risen above their stations and the males who helped them to rise instead of holding them down as they ought to.”
“Fuck, yes!” Chud exclaimed. Now the voice was speaking his language—it felt as though the inner monologue that had been running through his head for years was finally being spoken aloud—only much more eloquently than he could express it.
“I will make you eloquent and urbane,”the voice promised him.“Your words will sway thousands…millions…hundreds of billions. But you must do always as I say.”
A vision rose in Chud’s mind—it was him, but not as he had ever seen himself. He was tall and handsome and the pockmarks from his adolescent acne had been erased from his face. His silver hair was thick and smooth, no longer receding from his forehead and he had a full, lush beard. He was wearing long, splendid robes and addressing a crowd of people who were hanging on his every word and doing everything he told them to do.
“Like I was some kind of a prophet or something,” Chud muttered.
“Yes—you will be my prophet!”the voice assured him.“Through my guidance and vision you will rule. You will crush women and teach other males to do the same!”
“Yes, I’m in!” Chud looked around again, but there was still no one he could see. “What do I do?” he asked. “How do we get started?”
“Look to your left,”the voice instructed.
Chud did as it said. Normally he chose artifacts carefully from the very back of the room—picking from piles that had been sitting around for so long they were coated in a layer of dust. But this time he was still in the front of the room and he looked where the voice directed him to.
Then he saw it—lying on a small table. It was just a carved wooden box about the size of his hand. The carving was intricate and looked antique, but it wasn’t any more interesting or special looking than any of the other artifacts in the enormous room.
Still, he felt drawn to it—almost as though an invisible hand was tugging at him. He walked over and picked it up and opened the lid.
Inside was nothing but a dull gray crystal about the size of his thumb.
Chud frowned.
“Hey—what’s so special about this?” he demanded. “It’s nothing but a fucking crystal.”
“That is no ordinary crystal—that is The Charmer,”the voice assured him.“Use it properly and you command the fate of millions! Take it out of the box.”
Chud did as he was told. The minute he touched the crystal, it began to glow and sparkle. As he cupped it in his palm, he saw that vision of himself again—tall and handsome and important and well-spoken. A tingle ran up his arm and over the rest of his body. No, this was no ordinary crystal—there wasdefinitelysomething special about it.
He put it back in the box and the grand visions faded along with the tingle. He wasn’t sure how much use it was going to be, but it sure as hell felt nice! It—
Suddenly the door to the Antiquities collection storage area banged open and Professor Higgly was standing there with a scowl on her face.
“Mr. Brumpkin!” she exclaimed, glaring at him. “Soyouare the one who’s been stealing artifacts! I suspected as much! I’m going to call the authorities at once—not only will you lose your job, you’ll be spending a significant amount of time at the correctional facility in the very near future. You—”
“Pick up The Charmer. Hold it in your hand,”the dark voice growled in Chud’s ear. “It must be near your face or touching your skin to work.”
“The Charmer? Oh right—the crystal!” Chud picked it out of its box again and gripped it tight in one palm. Once more he seemed to feel himself growing taller and more handsome. He could almostfeelhis shoulders getting broader as a distinguished silver beard covered his suddenly square jaw.
Professor Higgly, who was still staring at him, got a look of confusion on her face.
“Mr. Brumpkin?” she asked uncertainly. “What…what’s going on? Is that still you?”
“Good—now command her!”the voice told him.
Chud lifted his chin.
“Get over here,” he said and his voice came out deep and masterful instead of high and uncertain, as it usually did.
