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By the time I was sitting on my couch in the living room, I felt like I'd run a marathon. I'd never wanted shape-shifting so badly in my life. I wore loose clothes-drawstring pants and a T-shirt without a bra-but it had taken some effort to put them on. My hair I'd given up on completely, figuring combing it out would have to do. I didn't have the patience to dry it and didn't want to think about the frizziness I was inviting.
Aubrey joined me on the couch as I rested from my morning labors and flipped through the channels. After cycling through twice, I gave up and left the TV on some sort of nature show about Siberian tigers. Aubrey watched it with wide eyes, but I wasn't interested.
"This is your equivalent of reality television," I observed.
"The talk shows don't come on until later," a voice suddenly said. "That's when things get good."
I sighed. "Carter. What a pleasant surprise."
The angel strolled into my line of sight and sat down on the armchair opposite me. Aubrey immediately left me and hopped onto his lap.
"Traitor," I said.
He grinned and scratched her head. "Word on the street is that you had a bad day yesterday."
"I've had worse," I said. "Marginally. You should have seen me before Mei healed me."
"Bah, demons can't heal. Not really. They lose the finesse it takes when they cross over."
"Hey, I'll take what help I can get." I brightened. "And speaking of help, I think I've got a picture of the seal-"
"No."
"No what?"
"I know what you're going to ask, and the answer is no."
"You have no idea what I'm going to ask!"
"You're going to ask me to help identify the seal so you can figure out where Jerome is."
I stayed silent. Damn.
He rolled his eyes. "And the answer is no."
"But you could make this so much easier," I argued. "Dante's out trying to figure out what the seal means. You could tell me right now."
"Georgina, I told you before. I can't interfere."
"Then why are you here?"
"To see how you're feeling. Believe me, I wish I could interfere. I'd do a better healing job than Mei."
I fell silent, mind spinning. "Were you here yesterday?"
"Doing what?"
"Look, I won't consider it interfering, but just tell me if it was you."
Carter didn't look confused very often. If anything, he was usually the one messing with other people's minds. I think under normal circumstances, when the immortal state of affairs in Seattle wasn't in limbo, he would have faked it and hidden his confusion. Now, he just shook his head in exasperation.
"What are you talking about?"
"Someone was here after Nanette beat me up. A guy. He put me to bed and called Hugh."
"It wasn't me."
"Technically, it wouldn't even be interfering."
"Georgina," he said sternly. "Listen. It wasn't me."
I held his gaze and shivered at the intensity in his eyes. His were gray, but whereas Dante's were like leaden clouds on a winter day, Carter's were like gleaming silver.
"It wasn't you," I said at last. He'd answered directly, with none of the half-truths and subterfuge angels normally employed. He'd answered directly, and angels couldn't lie. "I suppose you didn't blow up the stove either?"
"No."
"Who did, then? You said in Vancouver you'd try to protect me. I figured this was you."
"It's possible the stove blew up because of a gas leak."
"Maybe," I grumbled.
He smiled, instantly transforming him to the mocking angel I usually knew. "Believe me, Daughter of Lilith, I wish I could take credit for these things. And if it comes down to it, and I have the means and ability, I will try to protect you. For now, I've still got to stay out of this."
"House calls aside."
"Just a visit between friends." He winked and stood up. "I really do wish I could help more, but you're going to have to find another way. Be careful, whatever you end up doing."
"You're not warning me away from all this?"
He arched an eyebrow. "Should I be?"
"No," I mused. "But everyone else is. They say it's dangerous."
"It is dangerous. But these are dangerous times, and honestly? You're the only one that I think has the means or desire to get us out of this mess. Good luck, Georgina. And don't leave the house without checking your hair." He vanished.
"Fucking angels."
I realized then that I was starving for real food, not sugar-filled sweets. My kitchen was sparse as usual, so I decided to risk the world and go pick up something. I was tired and certainly incapable of running a marathon, but Mei's healing really had gone a long way. I could manage the one block walk to a nearby take-out Chinese restaurant. I placed the order, and by the time I was out of my robe and out the door, the food was ready. I stopped at a convenience store as well to pick up some pop, and the whole endeavor only ended up taking about thirty minutes. From the look on Aubrey's face, you would have thought I'd been gone a whole day, but then, she just wanted my orange chicken.
I changed back to my robe and relaxed with the food, pondering how to spend my day. As I'd told Dante, I didn't want to go traipsing about town, but I wanted some leads on the medallion. Erik was probably my best bet at this point, and I hoped he'd be able to ID my symbols from phone descriptions. Before I could do that, I heard a knock at my door. I expected it to be Hugh making a house call, but to my astonishment, it was Seth.
"Hey," I said, stepping aside so that he could come in.
"Hey," he returned.
I stuffed my hands into the ratty robe's pockets, wishing I hadn't been so hasty to change back to casual mode. My hair was undoubtedly a lost cause, so there was no point stressing over that. "How's it going?"
"Okay." He met my eyes frankly, something he hadn't done in a while. It sent a tingle down my back. "I was just nearby and wanted to...well, that is..." He sighed. "I just wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday...."
Yesterday. The kiss. Something that only a demon attack could have dwarfed.
I shook my head, trying not to recall how I'd felt that kiss all the way to my toes. "You have nothing to apologize for. I think...I think I was as much to blame. Besides, it was nothing."
"Nothing?" he asked, looking both surprised and hurt.
"I mean, not nothing ," I amended hastily. "But we were both kind of worked up, and things got crazy, and well, like I said...nothing to apologize for."
"Okay...I'm glad you're not upset. I don't want there to be anything...well, anything bad between us."
I thought about all the fights and arguments. "Well, I'm not sure we've reached that state. I mean, come on, do you think things will ever be normal and friendly between us?"
"Yes," he said bluntly. "No matter what has or hasn't happened romantically, I still feel like...like there's something between us...like, a connection, I mean. I feel like we're always destined to be important in each other's lives."
You are my life , I thought and promptly looked away, as though he might have heard me. "Do you regret it?" I asked before I realized I had.
"Regret?"
"Ending things."
I looked back at him, fearing his answer, no matter what it was. "I regret...well, I don't regret saving you from future hurt. I do regret the hurt I've caused you...if I'd known you'd react and spiral the way you have..."
"You can't take that into consideration," I said hastily. "That's not your fault." I was surprised to be saying that, but it was true. My bad behavior these last months had been my doing.
"I can't help it. I'll always worry about you. Like I said, I feel like no matter what, we're always going to be connected...like there's something bigger than us at work. As it is..."
"What?"
"Never mind."
I stepped forward, never taking my eyes off him. "Tell me."
"As it is..." He shrugged. "Life is easier not dating you. But sometimes...it feels incomplete. Like there's a piece of me missing."
"And that's easier?"
"Think of it as winning the lottery and having people waiting on all your needs, but it's at the cost of, I don't know, getting your leg amputated."
