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"Yeah, but still. You aren't O'Neill. Unless you're getting into fistfights that I don't know about."
"Mmm...not lately."
We stood there in each other's arms, both warm in the afterglow of what we'd done. Then, just like last time, a strange awkwardness began to grow. We didn't even need Maddie calling now. I carefully pulled away.
"You should probably go, huh?" I didn't say it, but I was certain he'd be seeing her later.
"Yeah, but..." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."
"What, having an illicit and cheap affair?"
He grimaced. "No. But I mean, I've spent ages imagining what it'd be like to be with you and wishing you weren't a succubus. I was always down on myself...I felt so shallow to be consumed by sex like that. And now that it's finally happened-now that you aren't a succubus-it's not superficial or shallow at all. It's so...I don't know. It's powerful. I wish this was an illicit, cheap affair. I wish I didn't feel this so deeply. Otherwise, when we said yesterday was it, it really would have been it."
I wished then, more than anything, that he'd say he was going to leave Maddie and we could be together again. He didn't, though, and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up. Besides, what good would it do? In only a few more days, I'd be back to normal, and our relationship would be as dysfunctional as before. What I wanted was pointless.
"Can I..." He took a deep breath. "Can I see you again? I know we said no more..."
I knew that by "see you again" he meant "have sex with you again." And somehow, I realized we were on a precipice here. The first time had been...well, not accidental...but certainly unexpected. This time had been an out-of-control animal lust. But now? An open declaration of this affair-premeditated sex-it took things to a whole new level. There was no going back. I studied those eyes I loved, the warm and gentle lips. I assessed my body, how it ached yet still burned with pleasure. Then I glanced over at Maddie's painstakingly researched real estate packet.
That should have been my mood killer, my warning. It was a reminder of who we were both betraying here. Seth had given in, but though I was on the verge, I could still pull back and save us from this. I had the power to say no.
"Yes," I said at last. "You can see me again."
CHAPTER 20
Dante was waiting for me when I got home. I normally liked having the company, but after being with Seth, Dante's presence now made me feel uncomfortable and confused. He didn't seem to notice right away, though, and instead was immediately caught up by Maddie's condo packet.
"What's this?" he asked, leafing through some pages.
"Maddie's been playing real estate agent for me."
"Wow. I didn't think you were serious about that."
I leaned back on the couch, weary from dancing, sex, and the emotional miasma I seemed to be swimming through lately. Bringing up Maddie didn't make me feel so great. "I didn't think I was either. I mentioned it offhand, and she kind of went crazy."
"Alki Beach, huh? Some of these are pretty nice." He held up one print-out. "Brand-new condo, still being built. You can weigh in on the colors and trim."
I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't have time to go shopping right now."
"One of the power spots on your list is near Alki. You could swing by."
I gave him a puzzled look. "Since when are you interested in me moving?"
He sat down opposite me, still looking through the listings. "Well, if you buy locally, I can rest easy that you're sticking around. Besides, get a bigger place, and we could try some cohabitation."
That caught me off-guard. "Oh?"
"You gave me a key. I might as well live here anyway."
"You're going to freeload off me for some more space, huh?" I teased.
He sighed, looking pained. "Man, you really do think the worst. I'd pay you rent."
"With what?" I asked incredulously.
"Business has been good. I think things are on the upswing."
"No offense, baby, but your business doesn't seem like the type that can maintain that kind of momentum. I think this has been a fluke." I spoke too soon and felt bad when I realized I'd hurt him. "But we can play it by ear if you want to move in. Maybe your reputation's spreading, and business will keep booming."
He seemed a little mollified after that, yet as I spoke the words, I found I wasn't overly thrilled at the prospect of us living together. I still had Seth on the brain. Obsessing on him was foolish, I knew. This fling of ours could only last a few more days at most. I shouldn't be mooning over him when I'd just be going back to Dante anyway.
Dante wanted to know how my beach investigation had gone, and I welcomed the change in subject. I gave him a brief rundown of my non-progress.
"You want me to look with you?" he asked. "I've finally got some time tomorrow."
I hesitated. The truth was, just before we'd parted, Seth had said he'd look with me and that he'd bring Kayla. The afterglow could be very persuasive. Still, I'd had to do a lot of convincing that she'd be safe, and honestly, I hoped I was right.
"I roped some other people into it," I said. "We should be fine."
I feared he'd question me further, particularly about whether I had a psychic to go with me or not. Mercifully, he let it go. I honestly didn't think he wanted to wander beaches and was grateful for the reprieve.
When we went to bed later, there was no way I could put his arduous advances off any longer, not without raising suspicion. I'd made a good recovery and no longer had my back excuse. Yet...something was nagging at me. Dante himself had been the one to first joke about whether I could get pregnant in my pseudo-human state. I still didn't know if that was possible, and even if it was, would it matter if I returned to my immortal state in a few days? I had no clue how any of this would work, but Seth and I hadn't used protection. And suddenly, I realized that if there were any chance in the world that I could get pregnant-if Nyx's vision might really come true-I didn't want to chance a paternity dispute.
So, I turned on the charm for Dante and went down on him again, something he didn't really seem to mind. He tried to get me off in return, but it was to no avail. After being with Seth, I had zero desire of my own and found I couldn't come. And so, for the first time with Dante, I faked it. I was a pretty good faker. He never suspected.
He slept late the next morning, so I slipped out early without waking him. Seth and I were meeting over at a restaurant in Bellevue, hopefully far enough away from anyone we knew to see us. While walking to my car, I felt someone fall into step beside me.
"So, I hear you're spreading stories about me," Cedric said amiably.
Startled, I glanced over at him, unease spreading through me. Cedric was my suspect du jour, and I'd already seen one demon's reaction to my theories. Of course, he didn't look particularly destructive at the moment, and there was also the fact that I had yet to tell anyone my latest theories about him implicating Nanette.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Kristin said you said that I told Nanette how you thought she might have summoned Jerome." He paused as though trying to make sense of that. "For the record, I didn't."
I nearly stopped walking. "Then who did?"
"Hell if I know. Just figured you should know I wasn't responsible for what happened to you." He offered no more, no condolences or queries to my health. I honestly couldn't expect that from a demon. The fact that he'd bothered to come talk to me was a rarity enough-and naturally, he could be lying.
"Well, I don't know who else could have told her, then. Or why. I only told a handful of people." The more I thought about it, the more I realized he had to be lying. I'd only told my friends.
He maintained his perfectly bland face. "Like I said, I don't know."
We reached my car, and I paused, leaning against it. "You came all the way here to tell me this?" Not that it would have been an arduous journey for him.
"Don't flatter yourself," he said with a smile. "I'm here to chat with your demonesses. Hell's pretty much ruled out Jerome coming back. There'll be someone official here in days to settle the matter."
I tried to ignore the chill that sent down my spine and parse the rest of his words. Cedric was cozying up to Grace and Mei. Not a surprise. Whoever came here to assign a new archdemon would question those two the most. "Well, thank you," I said. I didn't really know what else to say in that matter, so I switched to something else that had been on my mind. "Hey, I haven't heard much about your cult lately."
