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“Why didn’t you give this to me in person seventeen years ago?” he asked. “And why give it to me now?”
“Because it twisted me up to lie to you. We’ve both been with liars, and I didn’t want to be a member of that particular club.”
Well, he couldn’t fault her for that. They had indeed had enough lies to last them a couple of lifetimes, and the one thing he’d always been certain of was that he’d get the truth from Emmy.
Except he hadn’t.
“You kept your feelings from me all this time,” he said.
She nodded, paused, nodded again and downed her Pepsi like medicine. Apparently, she was also hoping for words to magically appear.
“Trust me when I say that I agonized over that letter, but I felt as if I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself any longer,” she explained. “However, when you didn’t mention anything about it, I figured you just wanted the whole situation to go away.”
“I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t know this existed.” Calen held up the letter. “I sure as hell didn’t know that you believed you were in love with me back then.”
He waited for her to spell out to him whether she still felt that way, whether she’d been hiding her true feelings for him all this time. But she didn’t volunteer any information. Maybe because the “in love” part was long gone. That made sense because after all, she had gotten engaged to Owen.
Calen released a long, slow breath that was definitely one of relief. Emmy wasn’t in love with him, and showing him this old letter was just about coming clean. That was good.
He wondered why it didn’t feel as good as it should have.
“I’m okay,” she assured him. “I’m not going to break into a million little pieces.”
But he could guess how she’d reacted seventeen years ago. “How much did you cry when I didn’t say anything about the letter?” he asked.
The corner of her mouth lifted into a not so smiley smile. “Loads.” She paused. “But after a while, I was just thankful that you went on as if the letter hadn’t happened. Which, of course, it hadn’t as far as you were concerned because you never read it.”
No, he hadn’t read it because Waylon hadn’t delivered it to him. His father had stuffed it in an attic until it’d come to light after all this time. And that caused the what-ifs to start spinning.
Calen wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d read this letter when he was eighteen. He wouldn’t have been able to respond, “I’m in love with you.” He loved her, yes, but in those days, he hadn’t noticed her tasty mouth.
All right, he had.
But he’d shoved his attraction to her aside because he hadn’t wanted to lose her. In those days, he had a lousy track record with romance. Hell, he still did. And he wouldn’t have wanted to risk hurting her by jumping in headfirst, only to have things cool between them. Or worse, completely ice over. Again, with his track record, he didn’t want to take the risk.
A risk like that earlier kiss had been.
“Yes, it’s scary to dive into something that could change everything between us,” Emmy said, obviously sharing his risks and doubts.
Unfortunately, she shared this scorching heat, too, and despite his lingering worry, he didn’t step back when she moved toward him. In fact, he stepped closer to her.
They met in the middle of his kitchen.
So did their mouths. His lips on Emmy’s. Her body landing against his. This time, it wasn’t a kiss for show or one to balance the scales. Nope. This was the real deal. The kind of kiss that happened for only one reason. Because that scorching heat had finally spilled over and made them stupid enough to throw all caution to the wind.
She tasted like Pepsi and really good sex. Especially the sex. And that was the problem with an amazing kiss and having Emmy’s breasts pressed against him. His mind was doing huge jumps, imagining just how much better this could get. Calen forced himself to focus on the here and now.
Here and now with the taste of Emmy sliding through him. Here and now with her making a silky sound of pleasure while she slid her fingers into his hair. Calen did some sliding, too, by hooking his arm around her waist and drawing her even closer. So close that he could feel her heartbeat.
This was all new territory to him but familiar, too, because Emmy and he had actually talked about sex. Not fine point specifics, but he’d heard her voice disapproval over a guy groping at her. So, Calen didn’t grope. He just kept kissing her, kept applying the pressure of his body to hers and waited to see what would happen.
Emmy was the one who started groping. Well, more or less. She slid her hand down his back until it reached his butt, and she gave him a little nudge in the right direction. Enough of a nudge that Calen was pretty sure his eyes crossed.
And sex thoughts came again.
He was trying to put another chokehold on that overwhelming urge when he heard the knocking. At first, he thought the sound was in his head, but when Emmy pulled back, he realized someone was at the door.
Someone he was going to get rid of.
