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“If you’re that pent-up, just rub one out.”
“I…it doesn’t work like that for me.” He was back to sounding all sad and like he was in dire need of a hug.
“Wow, I thought everyone jerked off.” I’d known some uptight guys in the service, and still, every last one would admit to at least occasional self-love.
“I do. I don’t mean I never get off, but not having a right arm fucking sucks. My left hand still doesn’t feel right, and unlike gaming and driving, I can’t use the prosthesis for jerking, so I usually end up doing—” He abruptly cut himself off with another groan. “Oh my God, why am I telling you this?”
“You know, I have a right hand,” I observed conversationally, scooting over in my bed.
“Congrats.”
“Stop being dense. And pissy.” I patted the bed next to me hard enough that he had to hear. “Come over here and make out with me, and I’ll loan you my right hand.”
“Oh.” He made a noise that was a mix of surprise, alarm, and pure, potent want. “You’re serious?”
“Come find out.” I patted the bed again. And waited…so long that I started to anticipate the sound of the shower flipping on. But then an Avery-size rocket landed next to me, breathing hard.
“Um. Hi.” It was too dark to see much of his face, but his sheepish tone painted a pretty vivid picture of where he was mentally. “Guess I’m desperate enough to try anything.”
“Gee. Thanks.” I gave him a gentle shove. Not off the bed, but enough to remind him of his manners.
“Sorry. Fuck. I’m already screwing up.” Wriggling around, he ended up with his head on my shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m doing here. You twist me all up, Malik.”
The weight of his head and the gentle way he said my name went a long way to soothing my ire. “Does it help if I tell you that you twist me up too? I don’t have much of a clue either.”
“Actually, yeah.” He snuggled in more securely. “That helps. You seem so…together.”
“Not freaking out isn’t the same as having my shit together.” I kissed the top of his head. He’d removed his prosthesis before bed, and the brush of his partial arm against my side made me feel that much more protective. Not that the badass SEAL needed or wanted my protection, but Avery made me feel things I never had before. “I’ve never done anything like this. Not with a guy, not casual, not so in over my head with wanting more.”
“Yes. That. Feels like drowning, yet I want more.” He made a snuffling noise against my shoulder, the rumble of his breath sending a shiver up my spine.
“How about we figure out how to swim together, not pull each other into the deep end?”
“Good idea.” He tilted his head, a clear invitation I was only too happy to take. I used my limited night vision to find his mouth, and damn if it wasn’t even better than I remembered. Avery truly did have the prettiest lips, but it was how he used them that really did it for me.
Mouth parting on a gasp, he welcomed the contact, whole body softening for me, but more of a sweet yielding than going limp. He was still very present, rolling more onto his side toward me, fingers digging into my shoulder, body pressing against mine. But he let me lead. Hell, he seemed to crave it. Every aggressive move on my part made him groan and melt further into me.
Experimenting, I nipped at his lower lip, and he climbed me like a tree, tugging me harder against him, erection grinding into my hip. Gratified by that response, I sucked his lip into my mouth, and he trembled like he might shoot from just that.
Breathing hard, I released him because I wasn’t nearly ready to be done.
“More.” He made a frustrated noise, bumping his hips against mine.
“You’re cute demanding.” I kissed him but kept it featherlight. “I take it that was as good as you remembered?”
“So good.” He groaned. “My replay powers clearly need some fine-tuning.”
“Want more?”
“Yeah.” He pulled on my shoulder, but I resisted.
“Me too. I want to get you off like crazy.” I kissed the side of his head so he’d know I meant it. “But I’m not doing this if you’re going to beat yourself up tomorrow and act all weird around me.”
“I’ll try not to.” He turned so he could kiss my neck, and I had to bite back a moan.
“Not good enough.” I made my voice officer-stern. “I don’t want to be a vehicle for your self-hate. You wanna get off together? I’m more than down for it. But no regrets and no acting like an asshole after.”
“I’m sorry.” He pressed a soft kiss right below my ear, taking a lot of my resolve with a single brush of his lips. “You deserve better than how I’ve been acting.”
