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After I could breathe somewhat normally again, I cleaned us up with my boxers. He was still panting, so I lay there, stroking his hair and whispering nonsense to him about how good that had been and how hot he was. Random words, but all true.
“Mmm.” Avery drank down my praise, cuddling closer. Damn. He really was perfect. And so was this moment.
At least, it was until I woke hours later in a dark room, shouting, chest hammering.
Chapter Seventeen
Avery
I woke to a shout, and somehow, I instantly knew that Malik was having a nightmare. Wide awake, I rolled away from his flailing body and flipped on the bedside light. All our covers and pillows were on the floor, and he’d sweat through our sheets. I’d seen a couple of buddies in the SEALs have these sorts of night terrors before, and I knew better than to touch him. The key was to get out of the way of his limbs and to wake him up.
“Malik?” I called, loud but calm. “Malik, it’s Avery. You’re at a hotel in Colorado. You’re safe. You were dreaming.”
“Dreaming. This is a dream?” Trembling all over, he sat up and rubbed his face, coughing a little. “No. Wait. I’m awake?”
“You were dreaming. But you’re waking up now.”
We were both naked, but I didn’t pay that any mind as I leaped out of bed, powered by the adrenaline of an abrupt wakeup. I retrieved a bottle of water for Malik and all the covers from the other bed, draping them around his shaking body.
“You with me?” After passing him the water, I sat gingerly next to him, hand hovering above his shoulder.
“Yeah. I think. I’m awake.” He blinked several times, which I took as a positive sign to rub his shoulder. The way he leaned into my hand like I always did to him was sweet. “Sorry. Sorry. I’m so sorry.”
His teeth were chattering despite the layers of blankets, so I held him close.
“Nah, man. You have nothing to apologize for.” I made my voice stern, channeling that officer tone he and Duncan did so well.
“I think I’m…” Pushing away the water, he squished his eyes shut and pulled back from me, skin going from pale to clammy and a little green.
I recognized the gonna-puke signs a mile away and scrambled for the ice bucket on the dresser, making it back right as a round of dry heaves wracked his body.
“It’s okay.” I rubbed his shoulders. “Puke if you need to get it out.”
“Just…nauseous.” He rubbed his own upper arms. “Why am I so cold? I sweat through the damn sheets. I shouldn’t be freezing.”
“Hot shower time.” I steered him off the bed. “We can sleep in the other bed afterward. Those sheets are fine.”
“A shower? At three in the morning?”
“Got a better idea to warm you up? You’re always big on telling me to take showers to relax. I’m betting they usually help, right?” I kept my voice soothing but firm. He needed me to be decisive right then.
“Yeah, hot water helps. Just…feel bad.” He let me guide him away from the mangled bedding on the floor. Glancing down, he made a disgusted sound. “What a mess.”
“Hey, I’m just glad I dodged your arms.”
“Oh fuck.” He went from vague greenish to ghost pale. “Tell me I didn’t hit you.”
“Nope. But it wouldn’t have been the first time or your fault if you had. Had a buddy clock me good on a mission, coming out of a nightmare, and I didn’t like him near as much as I do you. I wouldn’t hold it against you.”
“I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt someone because of my stupid-ass nightmares. Lacey said they terrified her. Started sleeping in the other room even before we broke up.”
“Well, I’m not Lacey.” I kept my tone matter-of-fact as I started the hot water for us, cranking it all the way up. “I’ve seen far worse shit than you having a nightmare.”
I pushed him ahead of me into the shower, but he paused halfway in. “You don’t have to come too. I’m okay now.”
“First, I’m cold now too. Second, I’m not going to leave you alone to beat yourself up over something out of your control.” He raised an eyebrow at me, but I scoffed. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m the king of punishing myself, but all that overthinking just means I know that carnival ride all too well. No way am I letting you ride the guilt-and-blame coaster alone.”
“Damn it. Why’d you have to go and get wise?” Sighing, he stepped under the showerhead, groaning as the water hit his skin. “That’s the perfect temperature. Thank you.”
“Anytime.” I hung back so he could get most of the benefit of the hot water, content with some stray droplets as I hunted the bar of soap.
