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As we stared at each other across the desk, I silently begged him to say….
“We’re going to tell Elizabeth we’re the real thing, me and you. It’s not just a fling. We’re going to be together, really be together. It’ll be easier for her to accept that. It won’t be easy, but it will be easier.”
I didn’t mean to snap at him, cry, or leave the office like that. But I didn’t want to collapse in a sob-filled heap in front of him, either.
Shelby whines, and I kneel down, gently stroking him behind the ear. “Don’t worry. I haven’t forgotten about you.”
Lizzy knocks on the glass, gesturing at me from the kitchen, holding up a packet of bacon.
I nod, giving her a thumbs-up, wondering if this feeling of guilt will ever leave me.
Maybe there would be a chance if the affection, lust, need, or desire for an impossible life with my man started to fade.
But it won’t, no matter how much time we purposefully spend avoiding each other.
Dominic has been going to the shelter early or driving to different shelters altogether. I’ve been working with Candance, partly helping with the day-to-day operation of the shelter and partly helping to rehome the puppies.
Dominic has been kind enough to arrange for his pickup service, which offers transportation for those employees who can’t drive to swing by the house. It’s a bus with a smiling photo of a puppy on the side.
It would make me whelm with excitement if I didn’t have the contrast in my mind.
The memory of being with Dominic in his car, of feeling his heat, his scent washing around me…and knowing that, any second, he might reach across and lay his hand on my thigh.
He might squeeze, making that carnal noise, claiming me.
We’ve only seen each other a few times, passing each other in the house.
He looks pissed every time his gaze rests on me like he’s angry at me for existing, a never-ending reminder of the mistake he made.
Even Mom can sense something’s off with me. When we skyped a couple of nights ago, she mentioned it, wondering if I pushed too fast too soon.
“You’re always welcome to come back, Danni,” she said, smiling gently. “You know that, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” I told her. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.”
Shelby yaps, jolting me from my thoughts.
I tickle him under the chin, then laugh when he play-bows and starts springing around. He doesn’t let his genetically shorter legs stop him, leaping all over the place and then ducking his head, running to the corner of the yard for his favorite stick.
As I play fetch with him, Lizzy emerges from the kitchen, placing our breakfast plates on the table.
The morning is cool. Lizzy has lit the fires in the grill, the flickering flames making it cozy and sleepy out here.
“I was going to make Dad a plate,” Lizzy says as I sit down opposite her.
My belly churns at the mention of Dominic, the way it does every time she brings him up in conversation.
It’s the hunger in me and the ache to be close to him again. The memory of his manhood in my hand excites me. I already miss his fingers stroking unstoppably across my sex.
It’s the hope I need to kill right now that he’d ever feel the same.
“But he’s heading out to work. He’s working a lot lately. I mean, he always has,” Lizzy sighs, forking her bacon. “But this is a lot, even for him. I hope he’s not pushing it too hard.”
Maybe, I could tell her he can’t tolerate being at home, being so close to me. Maybe it makes him feel like dirt…having a reminder of our betrayal every single time he walks into the house.
“I was thinking about arranging a dinner,” she says.
“Yeah?” I ask, cutting into my bacon, hating that I have to exist in this in-between place with Lizzy, always knowing I’ve done something unforgivable…and too cowardly to admit it.
I will. I tell myself when the time’s right.
But will that time ever come?
“He’s not keen on big social engagements, but maybe the three of us could go out?”
I try to find an excuse, scrambling in my mind, but Lizzy’s talking passionately. I remember countless times when she talked this way during high school, her excitement swelling, nothing capable of stopping her.
“I think it could be nice,” she goes on. “Just a little dinner, nothing fancy. It will be good for him to take a break from work. We can talk about dogs or anything or nothing.”
“Are you sure you want me to come?” I ask, looking at Shelby.
He’s sitting at my feet, staring up with his cutest smile, most likely in the hopes of bacon.
“Definitely,” Lizzy says. “You don’t have to, but I think it would be nice. If you’re going to be living here, you might as well get to know each other.”
