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“Which you could run out of Savannah,” he said reasonably.
“Maybe.”
There was so much more to say. So much that I didn’t know how to explain to him. I loved having Kathy close, but I hardly ever talked to my dad anymore. Derek had moved to Atlanta to be with his wife, Marley. Everyone else I loved was in Charleston. The only person who had kept me here was currently sitting beside me, staring back at me in disbelief. He’d been my lifeline in Savannah. And as much as it was home, it was haunted. One of the most haunted cities in the US, and full of ghosts of my life.
“I’m going in a few weeks to see my family and to meet with a Holden representative,” I explained.
“Go out with me.”
I sputtered, my eyes going wide. “What?”
Ash reached forward, sliding his hand into mine. “Go out with me, Amelia.”
“No,” I whispered breathily.
“Why not?”
“I’ve waited so long for you.” I glanced down at our locked hands. The feeling so natural, so normal. And yet … he had never been mine. “I’ve waited my whole life for you. You can’t do this just because I might be leaving.”
“I’m not,” he said at once.
I arched an eyebrow. “Your response to me telling you about Charleston was to ask me out. How can I think otherwise?”
“You might remember that I came by the store last week and asked you out then too. That I’ve been coming by to see you every day. That I’m here right now. I want you to go out with me. I want this.”
I closed my eyes around those words. Ones I would have literally died to hear when I was younger. When he’d loved someone else … and I’d just been a consolation prize.
“Why?” I whispered.
“What do you mean?”
I stood up, pulling my hand free. It was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. “Why? Why do you want to go out with me? Why now? Why after everything?”
Why not before? That was what I wanted to ask, but he must have seen it on my face because whatever anger he’d been rising to meet disappeared.
“Because living without you was torture.”
My heart stopped. “What?”
“It was torture. I hated every day and every minute without you. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
I scoffed. “I was there when Lila left you at the altar. I remember you drowning yourself in alcohol to try to forget. I remember all the stupid shit you did to try to move past what had happened with her. You want me to believe it was worse than that?”
But Ash didn’t flinch away from what I’d said. The love of his life had left him on their wedding day for another man. We never spoke about it. We never said her name. And the time that I had slipped up was … a catastrophe. Except this time, he really seemed different. I didn’t know if he’d ever get over Lila entirely. I’d never been sure if that would actually happen, not when he’d wanted her as long as I’d wanted him, but for the first time, I saw something else in his eyes. Hope.
“No,” he said finally. “It wasn’t worse than that, but it was a different sort of terrible.”
At least he was honest. I wouldn’t have believed him if he’d said it was worse than the day of his wedding. But I could believe that he’d been hurting. I could see it on his face.
“It was,” I admitted.
A smile cracked through his features and then disappeared again. He almost looked … uncertain. But I’d never seen Ash look anything but confident.
“Look, what Lila and I had was … toxic. I know that now. We were on and off for years, and now, she’s marrying someone else. We had our chance. We had our chance too many times.” He stepped forward, that confidence returning as he brushed a strand of my hair out of my face. “But you and I, we never had our chance. And I would regret it for the rest of my life if we didn’t try, Mia.”
A cool breeze cascaded between us as soft light filtered down through the hundred-year-old trees. The thousands of azaleas that overtook Savannah in the spring were just beginning to bloom. And all of it disappeared at Ash’s words. The words I’d wanted for too long.
I was leaving for Charleston. I had plans to open another boutique. I’d made these plans while plotting to get out of my relationship with Mark. Never thinking that I’d finally get my shot with Ash. Never thinking that he’d finally be over Lila. But here he was, talking about her in the past tense, admitting that they had been toxic and she was marrying someone else. I’d walked away for so much less, and I’d always wanted so much more. How could I say no when he was saying everything I’d wanted to hear?
