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“Well, he lied, and I found out from Kathy.”
My heart sank. “Oh.”
“He was with her before I agreed to the open relationship.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah. It was … it was the breaking point for me. I’d watched him fall in love with someone else. I was even happy for them, although concerned that she was too young and how that would affect y’all later. But I wasn’t interfering. I was seeing other people too. Then, Kathy told me, and it shattered everything. The trust was gone. I never trusted him again. So, I told him I wanted the divorce, and he accepted. Married Kathy almost immediately after it was finalized.”
“I remember,” I muttered. “I thought it was disgusting that he’d done that to you. Thought he must have been cheating for a long time.”
“Not quite, but … in the end, it didn’t matter.”
“That’s horrible! That’s a worse story.”
“No,” she said quickly. “I told you this against your father’s wishes so that you can see that we’re all human. We all make mistakes. In hindsight, I can see that I should have cut my losses and left him a lot sooner. Maybe he wouldn’t have cheated if I’d agreed. Maybe he would have. I don’t know. But I don’t blame him for everything anymore, Amelia. I blame myself too. We don’t get along, but we’re not hostile. And I never blamed Kathy. I’m glad they’re still happy. I don’t want you to give him all the blame either.”
“But he still ruined your marriage.”
“Our marriage was ruined long before then,” she admitted. “It’s not fun to talk about. I still wish it had ended a different way, but I don’t want you to resent him for it either.”
I was quiet for a long time after that. I didn’t know what to say. This didn’t completely change how I felt about what had happened to me, growing up. It was still my dad’s fault. It was just now also my mom’s fault. Everyone was at fault. Even Kathy. Though hard to blame her when the age gap was so big and she was only twenty. The whole thing was a mess, and standing on the outside of it all was me and Derek.
I wished he were here to hear that story too. To realize what had all actually gone down. But he’d gotten over it years ago. He’d let it all go somehow while I’d hung on, angry and grieving the death of something that had never been perfect.
“Thank you for telling me,” I said finally.
She squeezed my hand. “I love you, honey. I don’t like to see you hurting. But I won’t let you stay here and make a mistake either.”
“I know.” I nodded my head. “I’m not going to. The last thing I want is to lose Ash.”
“Are you sure he knows that?”
I bit my lip. “I think so.”
“You’d better be sure.”
28
Charleston
Present
My bag was packed and waiting for me at the door to my mom’s house. Ash would be here in a few hours. I hadn’t told him that I was going home with him. I wanted it to be a surprise.
I’d spent the last few days taking my mom’s advice. I set my sketch pad aside during the day and looked up locations online to go and check at. They’d all been a bust. Something wasn’t quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but nothing was working for me. So, I was going to go back to Savannah and give myself the time to figure it out. I was in no rush after all.
I didn’t need to escape anymore. I needed to do this the right way and for the right reasons.
I had lunch with Marina near her office on King Street. I’d avoided the heart of the city. It was mostly shop upon shop of name brands that I adored but wasn’t quite me. I wanted something small and local. Something with more heart.
But today, I decided to walk with all the summer tourists on the peninsula. I trekked past all the well-known brands with a smile. I wanted to be them one day. If I could get my big start. And so I didn’t begrudge them stealing the start I wanted. I knew my time would come.
Then, when I almost reached Broad, I turned onto a side street. My eyes lit up as I realized this was a little more artsy, a little trendier, and the shops … the shops were like my boutique. There were still tourists roaming the streets, going in and out of the businesses.
I stepped in and out of the shops, purchasing new clothing, two bags, a wallet, and a handful of jewelry. With my mood lifted, I turned the corner and saw the empty building next to the one I’d just walked out of. It was an all-white front with large, open windows. I stepped up to the front door and peered inside to find an exposed brick interior.
