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I’m guessing Cameron gave her the mantra to repeat because without it, she’d likely be making it rain white rose petals in a joyous display of youthful exuberance that is Grace. She already managed to talk Carter into letting Peanut Butter be the ring bearer, claiming he’s the closest thing to a bear we have. And no amount of explaining that ring bearers aren’t actual bears like Smokey could convince her otherwise.
“You’re gonna do great,” I tell her. When I was her age, walking alone or with a dog down an aisle of people watching me would’ve been horrifying.
“Of course, I am,” she says confidently. Grace is obviously nothing like me. It took me much longer to find anything close to that comfort with myself.
“Go for it, then,” Samantha tells the girl, tapping her on the shoulder as the music starts.
Standing off to the side, I see Bernard hand Peanut Butter’s leash to Grace and give her a thumbs-up. She sets her shoulders and walks slowly out of view . . . step, together, pause and drop petals, step, together, pause and drop petals.
Zack offers his elbow to Samantha, and they walk out together. Almost too quickly, it’s just me and Mom, and I feel like apologizing to her that we didn’t get the whole wedding-planning mother-daughter experience, but at the same time, I’m not sure I would’ve managed all that very well. It’s a lot of pressure and a lot of focused attention. Once upon a time, I would’ve fought my own anxieties to do the expected things for everyone else’s comfort, but now? I’m proud of who I am and more confident speaking up about what I want and don’t want. And this ‘wedding’ is perfect. For me.
And that’s good enough for Carter.
“I always hoped you’d find someone who would love you exactly as you are, Luna.” She takes my elbow and smiles affectionately. “That’s not always possible for the easiest of us, and I think we both know that as wonderful as you are, you’re not easy. You require people to be more. You see through them otherwise. But you don’t open yourself smoothly. You’re one step forward, two steps back. Sometimes, a whole leap back.” She grins, laughing lightly.
“Wow, thanks. I’m really feeling the love, Mom.” My dry delivery undercuts that I know exactly what she’s talking about.
“Let me finish,” she instructs me. “When you and Carter look at each other, I can see it. He loves you, Luna, and doesn’t want you to be anyone other than who you are. And though I never imagined you with a ‘suit’, when you look at him, I can see how much you love him too.”
“Thanks,” I say more sincerely.
She wraps her arm through mine, and we step down the aisle together. There’s a small gathering—the Harringtons, Samantha, Zack, Elena, Nelda, Stanley, and Bernard—but I don’t notice anything except Carter. Mom has to hold me back from running to him. But even with as slow as she’s going, in a blink, I’m in front of him.
“Hi,” I whisper, waving with my free hand. But I forgot I was holding flowers, so it looks like I’m flapping them around.
“Hi,” he answers with a sexy smile that makes me glad he’s my husband. He knows me, knows I’m awkward, and loves every second of it.
I hand off my bouquet to Samantha and take Carter’s hands. The officiant speaks, but I’m lost in Carter’s eyes and don’t really register the words until he asks, “Does anyone have any reason these two people shouldn’t be married today?”
It’s not the question that gets my attention, but Zack clearing his throat. Carter whirls, his eyes wide and incredulous.
Zack grins back. “I was just gonna say that you can’t ‘be married today’ because you’re already married.” He slaps a solid pat to Carter’s shoulder. “You’re my best friend. You weren’t worried I was actually gonna object, were you?”
“No, of course not.” Carter totally was.
I kinda was too, even though Carter and Zack are fine now. They’ve continued their business, with Zack picking up another small property to flip just last week. Though Carter spends all his professional time working on the Cartwright estate, he and Zack spend the occasional lunch or hang out time here and there, talking business and investing what Carter calls ‘fun money’. Zack, on the other hand, calls it his livelihood, but it works for them the same way it always has.
“May we continue?” the officiant asks. When Carter and I look back to him, he nods. “I understand you’ve written your own vows. Please proceed.”
Carter licks his lips and for the first time, I see nervousness in his expression. We’re already married, so it’s not like anything he says here will change that, but this is important to us both.
“Luna, I wish I could offer you pretty words or art that’d make you feel how much I love you because you deserve the moon, the stars, and more. Unfortunately, all I’m offering is me. I hope it’s enough because I love you. I will always love you. We started with lies and chaos, things I know you don’t like, but they were somehow the perfect beginning to something real. I vow to always be truthful with you and with myself, to protect your heart as if it’s my own, and to stand in front of you when you need a moment to hide, beside you as we tackle life together, and behind you when your badass comes out. All versions are equally you and equally beautiful to me.”
