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But then, how could I? Back then, not so long ago, it was a good day if I managed to make it back to my room without bruises or broken bones. All I had was my sister to stick up for me—not that I wasn’t glad, but she could only do so much, and I always felt bad. Like I was holding her back somehow.
Now, here I am, wanted. Claimed. Happy. No, I could never have imagined this for myself because I didn’t think anything remotely like this was possible. Not for me.
It’s what I wanted to explain to Dad, but I couldn’t put the words together. I don’t know that he would’ve heard me, anyway, not really. He was too busy worrying, which I guess is what parents do, anyway. It’s sort of their job.
I wish I could get through to him. Maybe he wouldn’t have to worry so much if he understood how happy I am here. I feel like I’ve finally landed where I belong. I didn’t get here in a conventional way.
All I know is when I stand here, watching and listening to happy laughter, and when I remember who I’ll see later, whose arms I’ll be in, who I’ll fall asleep beside, it feels like all those years of being rejected and shunned were worth it. Now, I can appreciate this so much more because I know what it feels like to go without. Do I ever.
“Maybe we can see about investing a little more money in toys and educational tools and that kind of thing,” I suggest. “I might be able to bend Wilde’s ear on it, and he might talk to the alpha. I mean, one ball for all of them to play with?”
“Yes, they tend to bring along anything they can pack into a bag. That’s the only reason we have what we do.”
“We need to change that. I’m sure with everything else going on, there isn’t a lot of time to think about the pups. That’s what they have us for, right?”
“Thank you.” There’s emotion in her voice. “And please, forgive me for any grief I gave you before.”
“I don’t hold grudges,” I tell her with a laugh. Well, that’s not technically true, but there’s a big difference between her giving me the stink eye and the sort of things Hannah used to do to me.
Once Clarissa gathers everyone for dinner, I say goodbye for the night and head out. It’s nice to be out in the fresh air after spending hours inside—it’s still not a good idea to let the pups wander around since things with the necromancers haven’t improved any. It’s been a few days since the attack at the banquet hall, and I assume they’re licking their wounds.
They won’t do that for long. They’re going to want to strike back. It isn’t like we weren’t warned, either.
I hope I get the chance to fight again. The thought stirs my wolf, and I know she’s happy about the idea. I want to protect what’s mine, and that means this pack, this territory. This is where I belong. This is where my mate grew up. His home is my home now. And I’ll be damned if I let anybody take that away.
Rather than head straight for the house, I decide to wander a little. The territory is vast, and there’s still so much of it I haven’t seen. The idea of visiting with Agnes is tempting, but I’d rather be alone. That’s one thing about having spent so much of my time on my own before now: it takes me a while to recover from being around a bunch of people and having to socialize, especially for hours at a time. I’m finding it’s better for me to take time alone afterward, or else I end up mentally drained.
Instead of walking around town, where there are still pack members who can’t help but give me funny looks—not mean, just awkward—I head for the woods to the west. They’ve doubled the number of guards and fighters patrolling the borders, so I’m confident enough to venture in that direction on my own. Wilde probably wouldn’t be a big fan if he knew, but he doesn’t need to know. I love how protective he is of me, but he forgets I’m a wolf, too.
And if there’s any trouble, I can always run. I don’t think anybody could blame me if I did. I still can’t forget the way it felt, the pain and the confusion. The blood running down my cheeks.
Now that I understand a little more about myself, it sort of makes sense. More than it would have otherwise, anyway. Somehow, that necromancer connected with me. Maybe there was something in my blood that came from my mother and reacted to her presence.
