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“Maybe…” she whispers.
“If you’re into that kinkier shit, I’m the guy you need to play with. Why don’t we go back to my room, and I’ll try out some new knots I just learned?”
“Knots?” she asks, arching an eyebrow before biting her lip.
“Yeah, there’s a four-poster bed in that room, and I’ve been dying to make use of it.”
Even if she never breathed a word, the scent of her arousal would give her away. “Yeah. Yeah, let’s do it.”
Forrest drapes his arm around her waist, his hand grazing her ass as they turn away. He grins over his shoulder at me. “Come on. You can watch.”
Hannah stiffens, stumbling a little. “Him? Really?” And to think, she was so eager to suck me off only a few minutes ago. Now it sounds like she’s talking about yesterday’s leftovers.
“I thought you liked it with an audience,” he reasons before nibbling her neck until she squeals. “Besides, he can watch, and then he’ll know what he missed out on.”
Her eyes light up instantly. “That’s true.”
He’s smirking when he turns my way again. This is all a game to him, the way it used to be for me. Now, most of my awareness is stuck on the girl upstairs. She’s who I want to be with. She’s where I belong.
Which is exactly why I can’t be with her. No matter what my wolf thinks.
“Why not?” I decide, falling in step behind them. We might as well have one more night of fun.
19
LILI
The sting of humiliation hasn’t faded by the time I wake up the morning after the party. No, in fact, the moment I open my eyes, everything comes rushing back in full detail. The smell of arousal. Those wet, slurping sounds. Hannah’s snide little comments, her nastiness. That’s nothing new.
If there’s anything to get me through the memory and to give me strength to get out of bed—an extremely comfortable bed, so much nicer than the one downstairs that used to be mine—it’s how quickly she backed down. Not because of Forrest or Wilde. I guess the wolf’s presence gives me another layer of… what is it? Understanding? Insight? Like our wolves sense more about each other than I could sense about her when I was only human.
She was intimidated. I’m sure she remembered watching me kill Dexter through that single good eye of hers. If she wants to keep both her eyes, along with the rest of herself, she’ll stay out of my way. Let her say whatever she wants. But when push comes to shove, she’s going to back down every time. I know that now. I feel it as sure as I feel my heartbeat.
I keep that at the forefront of my thoughts while I get in the shower. We’re supposed to be having some big group breakfast this morning because Daniel can’t get enough of these group gatherings. I have to wonder how much this is costing the pack, though I’m sure he doesn’t care right now. He’s never been one to shy away from the opportunity to show off, and this is the biggest opportunity he’s going to have for a long time, I’m sure. Things are winding down, but he’s going to wring every last drop out of it.
If I didn’t know I’d catch hell for it, I would skip the trip to the meeting hall. But there’s no avoiding it, just like there’s no avoiding understanding how different this whole event could have gone if my wolf never showed up. I would have been one of the pack members tasked with cleaning up after the party, and setting up for breakfast, just like I got all the residences ready before everybody arrived. Now I’m one of the wolves who only has to worry about behaving myself, making a good impression, and even enjoying things.
Though I’m pretty sure it would be impossible for me to actually enjoy myself right now. Maybe if it wasn’t for the rejection, I’d be able to. I won’t even get started on Wilde’s mark, still throbbing dully on the back of my neck whenever I’m near him. I must be at this very moment because the sensation intensifies as I walk across the lawn, bracing myself for whatever comes next. He’s already in there, I can tell. I can feel him. I can feel Forrest, too, because, of course, one of them wouldn’t go anywhere without the other.
Right on schedule, my wolf starts her bullshit. You need to calm down, I tell her, though I know it won’t do any good. She’s going to do what she’s meant to do: crave her mate until he claims her fully. That hasn’t happened yet. I don’t know right now if I hope it does or not. I don’t know if I want to be bound any more closely to Wilde than I already am, and Forrest? What a fucking mess. This entire thing is a mess. I don’t know what to make of him. Who rejects a bond without thinking about it? It still doesn’t seem like he quite grasps the enormity of what he did—and if he does, he doesn’t care. Either way, it doesn’t bode well for me.
