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“Thanks,” Christian told him. “She’s in good, safe hands, Axel.”
Axel grinned at him. “I know. That’s why I gave you her number. She needs someone besides me, Meghan, and Julian that she can lean on—someone that can help her in a way that we can’t.”
“I’ll be everything she needs me to be,” Christian told him as he stood up, his arm under my ass to hold me up. “She needs to get some sleep.”
“Agreed,” Axel said quietly. “I’ll make sure your appointments get rescheduled.” Axel ran his hand over my hair. My eyelids were already drooping—all of the crying I had done exhausting me. “Goodnight, Little Sis. Sleep well.”
“You, too,” I told him, my words slurred as I fought sleep. Today had been too long. Too much had happened. I just wanted some rest.
Once Axel left, Christian locked his front door and carried me to his bedroom. He gently laid me on the bed, tugging my leggings off of me afterward. I snuggled into his pillow, breathing in the scent of his cologne and body wash.
My eyes snapped open when the light went off, but then Christian’s soothing presence slid into the bed behind me, his front pressing to my back. “I’ll purchase a night light tomorrow,” he told me quietly. He pressed a kiss to the back of my head. “I’m here all night; I won’t let go,” he promised.
My heart swelled in my chest as I snuggled further back against him, letting my eyes fall shut as Christian’s warmth and safety locked me with him.
6
CONFESSIONS
Ally
I jerked awake, my eyes flying open as I quickly sat up, my heart pounding hard in my chest. Christian sat up as well and quickly turned on a lamp on his nightstand. He gently gripped my chin, turning my eyes to his. “What’s wrong?” His voice was husky and groggy since he was still half-asleep.
I shook my head, resisting the urge to press my hand to my belly. The anniversary date of my miscarriage was coming up in three days. How could I even begin to tell Christian that I’d been so selfish that I had destroyed an innocent life?
Tears burned at the back of my eyes, and I couldn’t stop them from spilling over onto my cheeks. I sobbed, bringing my hands up to cover my face. Wordlessly, Christian leaned back against his headboard and pulled me onto his lap, holding me tight to him. He didn’t say a word—just held me.
How did he know what I needed without me even saying a word to him?
“I don’t know what happened, beautiful, but let it out,” Christian said softly as he buried his face in my hair, his body wrapped tightly around me, holding all of the broken pieces of me together the best he could.
“I’m a horrible person,” I whimpered.
“No, baby; I don’t believe that for a second,” Christian disagreed as he tightened his arms around me.
I cried harder, my shoulders shaking. “In three days, it will have been three years since I miscarried my first baby,” I blurted. I couldn’t look at him, even though his soothing touch never stopped. “All because I was selfish and I overdosed on my antidepressant pills.”
“Oh, baby,” Christian rasped. He gently gripped my chin and pulled my face up to his. “That doesn’t make you a horrible person. You were hurting. Mental health—it makes people do stupid shit, but it doesn’t make you a horrible person.”
“But my baby was innocent,” I told him, tears pouring down my red face. He leaned forward and brushed his lips over my cheeks. I sobbed. God, how could he be so sweet right now? I was telling him I was a monster, that I killed an innocent life, and yet he was sitting here treating me as if I were one of the best, most amazing people he’d ever met.
“So were you, beautiful,” Christian told me. His dark eyes ran over my face, drinking in every feature of mine.
“I wasn’t innocent,” I choked out.
“What made you overdose, Ally?” he asked me.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Their betrayal shouldn’t hurt so much after almost three years, but it did.
“I found my boyfriend at the time balls deep inside of his step-sister—my best friend,” I told him, my voice breaking.
Christian’s hands tightened on me. He growled softly. “Are you fucking serious?” he swore. I jerked my eyes open, staring at the gorgeous man in front of me in surprise. “Your mental health was already in a bad place, too, wasn’t it?” he asked me, his tone softening. I just looked away from him. He sighed, drawing me back against his upper body. “I want to kick his ass—hers, too,” he grumbled. My heart warmed at his words.
“You’re not a monster, baby,” Christian soothed, his hand running over my hair. “I’ll never believe that you are, and one day, I’ll make you believe it, too. And when we have a baby together, I know you’ll make the most amazing mother.”
